Ride of My Life
by SuddenlySandi
Summary: Bella and Edward come from two totally different worlds. Can they find a way to work it out, or will Edward's determination to win cost him his life. All human.
1. Chapter 1 thru 3

**Twilight Characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer**

1

I was sitting in the back of the small diner, hiding in a corner booth with tall walls, waiting for my manager to bring the car to the back alley. I kept my head down and hoped I wouldn't be recognized.

Everyone was dressed in western clothes because of the Rodeo in town and I felt out of place. My style was more about funky jeans and retro tennis shoes. I usually felt stylish, but it seemed like everyone was wearing a hat and boots.

I let my dark hair fall around me as I tried to keep my head down on the off chance I would be recognized. I wasn't sure I was being left alone due to my faux pas or the fact nobody in the country western world would have a clue as to who I was.

A tall cowboy slid into the seat across from me and I sighed loudly.

"Sorry, I didn't see anyone sitting here," he explained.

"The dishes are still on the table," I pointed out.

"I just wanted this booth, are you leaving?" he asked. I was so ready to be out of this stupid town. He was extremely good looking, but I couldn't even find it in me to be impressed by his grey eyes or strong jaw.

"I'm waiting for my car," I said sullenly. "Are the paparazzi out front?"

He gave me an odd look and nodded as he suddenly looked around the room. He scooted to the far end of the booth and leaned against the wall, out of the view of other patrons.

"Are you here for the rodeo?" he asked me.

"Yes and no," I answered and noticed him smirk a little. "I'm here doing penitence."

"Here at the diner or at the rodeo?" he asked as he chuckled.

I gave him a squinted glance and asked, "Are you Canadian?"

"No."

"Promise?" I asked just to make sure.

"I'm from Northern California, I promise," he laughed. "Do you want me to recite the preamble?"

"Like I would know it?" I said with an irritated tone and rolled my eyes at him. I didn't know people actually learned stuff like that.

"Yeah, I don't either," he admitted.

"Okay," I said as I leaned closer to talk softly, "I said something that was taken out of context, so I have to sing at the opening ceremonies of the Rodeo to make it all good."

"About Canadians?" He asked, leaning in, too.

I nodded and let my eyes drop. "I called the country America Light," I embarrassingly admitted.

"To who?"

"It doesn't matter, I didn't mean anything bad, and now I'm stuck with a bunch of animal abusing rednecks because of my big mouth."

I had no idea why I was confiding in a perfect stranger, but there was something so open about his mannerisms I couldn't help myself. He moved Mike's plate out of his way and sat his hands on the table before he spoke, trying desperately not to laugh.

"Two things, sweetheart; cowboys wear hats, boots, and extremely large buckles. And I seriously doubt a two-thousand pound animal is the one being abused."

I felt my face turn red as I realized he was wearing a hat, boots and buckle. I just couldn't control my big mouth and it was going to cost me my career if I didn't get a handle on it, soon. But I wasn't going to let him get away with the animal remark.

"A real cowboy wouldn't use a saddle and that thing that goes around the horse's head..."

"The bridle," he offered.

"Or," I continued, "the thing that goes in its mouth…"

"A bit," he added.

"Why can't they ride like the Native Americans rode? They didn't need all that crap. I think it is mean and shows a lack of skill."

I was hoping I was giving him something to think about, but he was biting his lip to keep from laughing and I crossed my arms and waited for his smart remark.

The back door opened and Mike motioned for me to come out, so I scooted to the end of the booth. "I suppose you want my autograph," I said, feeling I owed him something for keeping me company for a few minutes. I quickly signed my name on a napkin and handed it to him.

He glanced at my name and extended his hand, "Nice to meet you Bella, I'm Edward."

"Have fun in Canada, Edward," I said and ran through the back door to my awaiting car.

I was taken to the large indoor arena and made a lengthy sound check. I would be singing the Canadian National Anthem and then sit in the celebrity booth with the announcers. I could hardly wait for the night to be over.

The arena smelled like manure, and I had to breathe through my mouth so I wouldn't get sick. I stood on a platform and worked on the sound settings as horses rode around me. I tensed whenever they got close and was sure I was going to be trampled by a wild stallion.

"Bella, your clothes arrived," Mike told me and led me to a trailer in the back. The entire parking area was filled with horse trailer and RV's. I was stunned so many people would be into such a brutal sport. I looked at the clothes lying in front of me and took a step back.

"I am not wearing that," I yelled.

"You need to look like you belong, not stick out like a sore thumb," Mike said angrily.

"Get real, Mike. I will be photographed tonight. I'll wear the vest but that is it," I offered.

"What are you going to wear, then?"

"I'll throw something together, but I don't need to look like Annie Oakley."

"Fine, but don't say anything about the clothes when you're being interviewed. You are happy to be here and enjoyed seeing something new."

"I'll say, I'm happy to be invited to sing, but these freaks should be put in jail for hurting innocent animals," I said angrily.

"Bella, don't make it worse or you will fall off the charts faster than Ricky Martin."

"Who?"

"Just play nice, and give me some peace."

I looked through the clothes I had in the trailer and found a large oversized black t-shirt with some black leggings. I put a silver belt around my waist and the glittery vest over the tee. I decided on some black stilettos, knowing they were not a good choice for a dirty rodeo arena, but I would walk out to the platform from a wooden ramp, so I decided to chance it.

Mike didn't comment on my outfit when he came to get me. I stood in the back of the arena, irritated, while I waited for the opening ceremony to be done with all the parading horses and get to the real stuff. When my name was announced there was some cheering, nothing like the noise I got when I was introduced at my concerts, but at least they weren't booing.

I walked out and smiled as I waved in every direction of the arena. I took the mic and began the A cappella version of the Canadian Anthem. The crowd went wild and I relaxed. When I finished with the song I bowed and waved around the arena again, before making my way to the booth, where a name plate sat on the table in front of my seat.

The platform was removed and the parade of various rodeo queens exited the arena. The lights began to flash off and on as spotlights moved rapidly around the ring. The crowd went insane and the screams were louder than anything I had ever experienced.

The announcer next to me yelled into the microphone. "Ladies and Gentleman, please give a warm welcome to the reigning All Around Cowboy, Edward Cullen."

The crowd actually got louder and I was tempted to cover my ears, but instead I applauded with curiosity. A horse came galloping into the arena and the spotlights followed the rider as he made lightening fast rounds waving the entire way.

The announcer seemed shocked and said over the speaker, "Edward is riding his horse, Man-o-war, without bridle or saddle, let's give him and extra round of applause."

My heart sank; it couldn't be the same Edward I had complained to earlier, could it? Just my luck, I had called the most famous of the rednecks, a redneck animal abuser. I wanted to hide under the table.

I watched in shock as he stopped in the middle of the arena and made his horse walk slowly right towards me. He was smirking and I could tell I was blushing. He made a funny noise with his tongue and his horse began side stepping as he came even closer to me.

"I suppose you want this," he said holding out a piece of paper. I took it and saw he had handed me his autograph, making me want to die from humiliation.

"Now watch me show America Light how it's done," he winked and rode away.

My heart was pounding loudly and I looked around nervously. When everyone sat and the rodeo began a girl sitting next to me leaned over, "Do you know, Edward?"

"A little," I said hoping she wouldn't ask me details. "I know nothing about rodeos," I admitted.

"Oh, I can help with that," she offered too quickly.

She launched into a diatribe about the spectacle I was witnessing and I tried very hard to appear interested. "There are timed events and rough stock events. The cowboy who makes the most money in at least two events is named All Around Cowboy at the finals in December."

"What does Edward do?" I asked and hoped she didn't read too much into my curiosity.

"He's a bareback bronc rider and a bull rider."

"Isn't that dangerous?" I asked stupidly.

"That's why they make the big bucks," she laughed. "His brother Emmett is a bullfighter…"

"He kills bulls?" I asked in shock and was ready to run from the place and begin picketing out front.

She laughed at my ignorance and said, "No, he's a rodeo bullfighter or maybe you would call it a rodeo clown. They protect the bull riders by distracting the bull.

"Ah," I said acting like I fully understood.

"His sister Alice is the reigning barrel racing champion. She is so amazing."

The girl actually sighed and I felt my mouth falling open so I immediately extended my hand in order to refrain from insulting yet another Canadian. "Um, I'm Bella," I said since I would be sitting next to this girl for the night.

"I'm Angela, I'm the rodeo queen," she said as she rolled her eyes.

"No, that's really cool," I lied.

"I'm obsessed with the Cullens," she admitted with a blush. "They are like celebrities in the rodeo world; I even have a shirt with Edward's face on it."

Her comment made me wince at the fact I had acted like such a diva in front of a guy who was more known than I was with this population.

The first event was bareback riding. Angela smiled and said, "Edward got a really good draw, he should score high."

"I have no idea what you just said, but okay."

She laughed and explained. "A computer matches the cowboy with a random horse. Some are known for how well the buck and the score can be higher if you draw a good horse."

"They don't ride their own horses?" I asked stupidly.

"No, they ride special rodeo stock."

I watched in amazement as cowboy after cowboy was thrown to the ground or scraped along the railing. I had no idea why a sane person would even consider this sport and grimaced at the sight of the spurs on their boots.

When Edward was up the crowd went wild again. I was actually shaking from how nervous I was for him. He was the only cowboy I knew and I wanted him to ride the full eight seconds.

Angela nudged me and pointed to a large man on a horse at the far end of the arena. "That's Emmett, Edward's brother. He's a pick up man for this event. He'll ride up to the bronc, if Edward stays on, and help him get off safely."

I nodded and looked at the huge muscle bound man as he stared intently at his brother getting ready in the chute. It was sweet, in a brutal gladiator kind of way. The gate opened and I quickly covered my eyes. I couldn't watch and waited for the buzzer to signal if he made it or not. The eight seconds were the longest of my life.

The buzzer sounded and the crowd screamed loudly, so I lowered my hands. I saw Edward grab onto his brother's arm and be lifted easily onto Emmett's horse. I cheered right along with Angela. Edward slid off the horse and walked toward the alley as he waited for his scores.

I watched the way he walked in his chaps, with his hat low, hiding his eyes. There was something so manly about him and I couldn't help but smile. When a score of 92 was given the crowd erupted again and Edward took his hat off and waved to his fans.

His hair was long compared to the rest of the performers. It had a natural wave that sent curls in all directions around his head.

After his third successful ride the crowd thinned a little. I lost interest too and was glad when Mike came to rescue me to eat. I was taken to a back room and instantly noticed Edward being interviewed by a reporter. I tried not to stare, but he saw me looking at him and he winked.

I sat at a table and was handed a plate with a thick steak and a large potato. I smiled at the server and then glared at Mike sitting across and down from me. He smiled and shrugged and I began to wonder how I could get the morbid slab of meat off my plate.

"Hi, Bella," Edward smiled as he pulled the chair out next to me.

"Hi, um…good…I mean you rode…what do they call it?" I asked.

"Bareback bronc," he laughed and I let my head fall in humiliation.

"I'm sorry about earlier. You didn't have to get rid of your saddle and stuff for me. I have a big mouth sometimes."

"I just wanted to show you modern cowboys are just as skilled as the natives."

Emmett walked up and his size scared me. He was so much larger up close. He completely ignored me and spoke directly to his brother. "Watch your left leg, your spurring was sloppy," he said to Edward.

"Like hell it was, did you see the scores?"

"You are getting points for crowd approval, you need to focus and not get sloppy when the judges can't see."

"I was focused," Edward said angrily, "my knee is still sore."

"Bullshit, you're babying it. Keep your hand centered and let your legs spur evenly."

Edward nodded and I had no idea what they were talking about. Both guys removed their hats and I noticed Edward's long unruly hair was a contrast to Emmett's short tight curls. My attention was drawn to a gorgeous blonde who walked up and kissed Emmett on the cheek.

"You're favoring your knee," she said to Edward. He hissed loudly and began buttering his roll harshly.

He took a quick bite and pointed with his knife toward the steak sauce. "You using that?" he asked me.

"No, I don't eat meat," I said as I handed the bottle to him.

He froze and looked at me with shock, "Steak or any meat?"

"Any meat," I told him and realized everyone was listening to me.

"You're not going to eat that?" he asked looking at my steak. He acted like he had never heard of such a thing as a vegetarian and the idea stumped him.

"No, please take it, I don't want it on my plate," I told him and pushed my plate next to his.

He narrowed his eyes at me for a moment, and then shook his head in disappointment as he stuck his fork in the meat and put it on his plate.

"Where are you from, Bella?"

"Washington State, but I live in L.A. now."

He chuckled and nodded like it all made sense to him now.

"Why the degrading laugh?" I asked angrily.

"Nothing, our worlds are so far apart," he chuckled again.

I knew what he meant. We were both from California but I thought people like him only existed in old John Wayne movies. I had no idea they were living among us.

"I'm only here because I have to be," I added angrily.

"Yes, I remember the national insult."

"I just don't get the whole need for the man verses beast thing. Animals weren't put here for our amusement."

"No, they were put here for our nourishment, but you won't eat them so I have to ride them," he laughed.

"How can you eat another creature?"

"With steak sauce," he answered and Emmett laughed loudly.

I looked at Mike, wanting him to get me out of the situation, but he was being overly attentive to yet another rodeo queen and wouldn't even look at me.

I began picking at my potato when Edward addressed me again. "Are you coming to the dance tonight?"

"What dance?" I asked in confusion.

"Each night they have a dance, I'm sure you won't know the band, but it is usually a lot of fun."

"I don't know how to western dance," I told him.

"I'm sure you are coordinated enough to catch on," he smiled and it made me feel stupid.

"I don't know what Mike has me scheduled for," I lied and noticed how Edward seemed a bit disappointed.

I wondered if he wanted me to come and I got a little nervous at the thought. I felt like he was the type of guy who would be rude or feel entitled to be able to grope me.

A man walked up to our table and spoke softly, "Black won in San Antonio."

"Of course he did, all the competition is here," Edward said angrily.

I listened quietly as they talked about points, and dollar amounts, and different locations. They might as well have been speaking in French, since none of it made sense to me. The blonde asked the quiet guy about someone named Alice.

"She's rubbing down Georgia," he said. "I just gave him a shot and she doesn't want his leg getting stiff."

"What's wrong with him?" Edward asked.

"Nothing, his fever is slightly elevated. I think he'll be fine after he drinks more fluids. She doesn't want to use Sarsaparilla; she thinks the dirt isn't deep enough."

"They'll bring in more before tomorrow," Emmett said and the quiet guy just shrugged.

"What do you know about Sweet Feet, Jasper?" Edward asked seriously and I realized the quiet guy was named Jasper.

He look a long breath and thought for a few moments before answering. "He'll go away hand, but keep your feet evenly planted in case he belly rolls. He'll be an easy ride, so don't suicide wrap."

"I never do," Edward said and Emmett kicked him under the table.

Jasper walked away and Edward turned his attention back to me when he caught me listening. "Do you feel like you entered a foreign country, instead of just America Light?"

I glanced around to see if any reporters were in earshot.

"I'm sorry, but I know the meanings of the words you use individually, but the way you put them together has me so confused."

He laughed loudly and put his arm on the back of my chair and turned to face me fully. "Have you ever ridden… a horse that is?" he said with a wink and I felt my heart speed up.

"Is that supposed to be a sexual reference?"

"Strictly recreational," he said with a crooked smile and I wondered why he didn't have a woman sitting next to him like his brother did.

"No, never had any interest," I admitted.

"Are you dating anyone?" he asked and I felt shocked by his boldness.

"Why?" I asked trying to sound cavalier.

"I want you to come tonight, you don't have to dance, just come hang out with me."

I laughed and let my head fall to the side in a condescending way, "Come on, Edward, the rodeo queens are a mile deep; each one panting over you."

"Never had any interest," he said as he stared into my eyes.

"I find that hard to believe."

He shrugged and began to run his thumb up and down my back lightly as he continued to stare at me. I felt a shiver run through me, and I chuckled nervously as I sat forward to get out of the reach of his thumb.

"You're good, I'll give you that much," I admitted.

He leaned in and spoke directly into my ear, "You have no idea."

"But, you don't realize something about me," I warned him. "I live in L.A. and I have seen every game in the book."

"You don't realize something about me," he said and licked his lips. "I never quit and I never lose."

"Eight seconds, not a big selling point," I laughed.

He grabbed his chest and acted like he had been wounded, making me laugh. "I'll be honest with you," he said seriously, "Today was nothing; it's easy to ride a bronc. Tomorrow will be intense and I make it a practice of living fully the night before, just in case."

"Define, living fully," I challenged him.

"It differs, tonight it means getting to know Bella Swan."

I stared at him and knew I was being played, but there was something so appealing about him. I hoped his own 'celebrity' would make him leery to talk about me with any reporters or paparazzi. I looked over at Mike and he was still gushing over the girl with big hair.

"Why not?" I said and Edward frowned.

"You don't seem sure, is there something holding you back?"

"I'm not easily played, Edward. I will be aware, and if you are just looking for someone to 'ride' you better look elsewhere."

"We have a saying in my family; 'it's not my first rodeo', which means we know what we're doing and we don't play games. You are different and it fascinates me. If I was only looking for someone to relieve the tension, I wouldn't have to look far."

"Fine, we'll hang out," I relented.

He smiled and my heart pounded in my chest warning me I was making a terrible mistake.

2

I walked through the doors of the large conference center across the street from the arena. Mike came with me, anxious to meet another queen, no doubt. I felt out of place in my skinny jeans and low cut v-neck t-shirt. I didn't have any boots and wasn't about to purchase any, so I wore my converse high tops.

The music was loud and the liquor was plentiful. I told a young man at the ticket table I was a guest of Edward Cullen's and he immediately rose to show me the way. A woman next to him grabbed my hand and stamped it. Mike wandered off as soon as we entered the hall and I was led toward a table on the far end of the room.

It was full of people and I was so relieved when Edward saw me and smiled, as he headed my way.

"You came," he said and took hold of my hand.

His hand was warm and I liked how tightly he held mine. "You were right, I don't know the band."

He was holding a long neck bottle and put it in the front of his jeans as he pulled me forward to make introductions. I tried to concentrate on the names, but the bottle sticking out of his pants kept breaking my concentration.

"Bella, these are my parents, Carlisle and Esme."

I extended my hand and smiled in earnest. "Hello," I said as they both shook my hand. I noticed his father gave Edward a sideways glance and his mother was more than welcoming. They were both beautiful and I understood where their kids got their looks.

"You remember Emmett and Rosalie," he said as we passed his brother and his wife. I didn't have the nerve to tell him I wasn't actually introduced to them, but Rosalie's demeanor was very intimidating, so I remained quiet.

"This is my sister Alice, and her fiancé Jasper. Jasper is our veterinarian, too."

Alice jumped up and I was shocked at her tiny size. Her brothers were so tall and she was dwarfed by them. She noticed my eyes and laughed. "Yeah, I'm the runt of the litter."

"Oh, I didn't mean…"

"It's okay. I have the biggest personality, so it evens out," she laughed. "I actually know who you are, Bella. The rest of these cowpokes don't have a clue. I like your music."

"Thank you, I'm actually enjoying being just part of the crowd," I confessed.

"Then you will want to stay far from Edward, he relishes the limelight," she said as she punched her brother in the gut.

"Hey, it follows me, what can I say," he teased.

"You want some cowboy Kool-Aid?" she asked as she handed me a beer.

"I think I'm going to need a lot of these tonight," I said softly and felt Edward tighten his grip on my hand. He pulled me to an empty spot at the table and we sat down. I watched the dance floor and got nervous. I had no idea how to do the steps everyone seemed to know.

"Hey," Edward called to get my attention, "feeling like a fish out of water?"

"That's putting it mildly; I feel more like a whore at a virgin's convention."

He laughed and took a swig of his drink before saying, "Nobody here's a virgin, so relax."

"Well, I wasn't admitting I'm a whore," I clarified.

He looked at me for a moment and then went back to his beer. His eyes made me nervous and I wasn't used to being the star struck one. It felt like the balance of power had shifted and I didn't like feeling weak.

"So, whose place am I taking tonight?" I asked him.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes at his pretence. "I know how celebrity works, Edward."

"Really, so how many groupies do you bring around your family?" he asked in irritation.

I saw his point. I had guys come to my trailer before, but I never had them around my family. It made me feel special he had actually invited me here, but also scared the shit out of me. I was not looking for a relationship and especially with a cowboy. I still found his sport barbaric.

The band began playing another song and the crowd went wild. Edward jumped up and yelled for Alice. She actually walked across the table and jumped onto the floor in front of Edward. A spotlight landed on them and he grabbed her around the waist and they began a very complicated dance.

The song was about rodeos and everyone was singing along loudly. I didn't understand why nobody else came to the dance floor. It was as if the song was only for Edward and Alice. I looked at his family to see if they would give me an explanation. Rosalie finally walked over to me.

"Only the All Around Cowboy dances to this song," she said and I nodded. "It's Rodeo by Garth Brooks."

I stuck the information away for later, so I could listen to the song again. It had an infectious hook and everyone seemed to enjoy the tempo of the song. When it ended Edward removed his hat and tossed it high into the air as the crowd cheered for him.

I couldn't help but smile as he picked up his hat and walked towards me. "Nice," I smiled.

He nodded toward the dance floor and I instantly tensed. "I can't do that," I assured him.

"You won't have to do anything," he said.

He took my hand and dragged me into the middle of the crowded dance floor before pulling me into his arms. I naturally raised my hands to rest along his biceps. His entire body folded around me as he bent his knees slightly and pulled my body snuggly against his. It felt so intimate, until I realized all the men were dancing that way. I slowly let my hands ride up his arms and around his neck as he buried his face in mine. His hat kept us securely hidden from the prying eyes and I couldn't believe it when I sighed.

His arms tightened even more and I could swear I felt him kiss my exposed skin, where my neck met my shoulder. He finally said with a thick voice, "I can feel your heart racing."

"The whole fish out of water thing," I said with a shaky voice.

"Are you sure?" he asked in a whisper.

I couldn't answer. He was having an effect on me and I wasn't about to admit it to him. I knew with a certainty someone else would be in his arms tonight, if I wasn't here. I couldn't let myself fall for a guy who I had absolutely nothing in common.

When the song ended, and everyone broke apart, he raised his head but still held me tightly. "You okay?" he asked with concern.

"Great, I just feel….I mean I have on tennis shoes….I think people…" I finally stopped talking since I had no idea what I was trying to say.

"Do you want to leave?" he asked and I wanted to scream the word yes, but I was afraid he wasn't meaning he would come with me.

"I have a hand stamp; it would be sacrilege to leave."

He laughed and took my hand in his again and led me back to our table. Emmett was pouring shots and everyone would drink it down fast and then guzzle their beer. I gave it a try and felt like my throat had been set on fire.

Everyone laughed and Edward wrapped his arms around me, "Sorry, that's a riders drink. It shows you something more painful than being dumped by a bull."

"What was it, moonshine?" I said with a raw throat.

"Moonshine?" Edward asked incredulously. "We're not hillbillies."

"Sorry," I mumbled and wanted to smack my big mouth again.

"Try it again," Emmett begged as he handed me another shot glass. "It's an acquired taste for a gunsel."

"Leave her alone," Edward said sternly, but I had no idea what he called me and noticed everyone staring. I wanted to feel like part of the group so I took the glass and downed it quickly. This time I had to hold my hand over my mouth to keep it from coming back up.

"Come on, I'll get you a sweet drink," Edward said as he pulled me away from his laughing family.

We headed to the bar and he ordered a sloe gin fizz and handed me the pink drink. I took it but was becoming worried about staying upright. Edward ordered another beer and when he took a long drink as he stared into my eyes, I instantly took a big gulp of the sweet drink.

The shots were starting to hit me and I could hear myself beginning to giggle and I couldn't force my brain to connect enough to stop.

"What's so funny?" he asked with a crooked smile.

"This whole thing is surreal," I laughed. "I mean guys like you don't exist in my world."

"Guys like me?" he pressed.

"Yeah, I mean look at the size of your buckle." He looked down at his pants. "I would think it was due to some incompetency you were trying to hide, but then you climb on wild animals for kicks."

"For money," he clarified and I only laughed harder.

He smiled and said, "You are going to pass out from laughter, when you see my truck."

"Why?"

"I'll show you," he said and took hold of my hand again.

We tried to make it out of the room but he was being descended upon by adoring fans, mostly female. Everyone wanted his attention and he soon began leading us back to his table. Nobody approached him there and I understood there must be some sort of code of etiquette concerning the table.

I wasn't sure if I was disappointed or not, I wanted to see what he was going to show me, but I was also afraid to be alone with him while feeling tipsy. The last thing my career needed was a front page picture of me wearing nothing but chaps as some rodeo hero got his kicks.

The thought made me laugh out loud and Edward leaned into me and asked, "What's so funny, now."

"I had a very disturbing image run through my head," I admitted without any control over my mouth at all. "I saw myself wearing chaps."

"And nothing else, I hope," he added and I nodded stupidly. "I've been having the same image," he admitted.

"Then why aren't you laughing?" I asked with a slight slur.

"I don't find it funny, only sexy as hell."

"You, Edward Cullen, are much more dangerous than any bull. How many cowgirls have you thrown?"

He surprised me by taking hold of both of my hands and kissing them gently. "I know the difference between riding a bull and loving a woman," he said softly and I felt my heart racing again. "I do both quite well and there is nothing remotely similar between the two."

I stared at our joined hands and finally looked back at his eyes and asked, "Why am I here?"

"You tell me," he said without a smile.

"You asked me to come," I pointed out.

"And you came, why?"

I looked around the room and nothing felt familiar, except Edward. He felt…warm, and safe. "I don't let people get close because they always want something from me. I guess you didn't give me the impression you wanted anything."

"You're wrong, love. I want something."

I felt tears sting my eyes and I bit my lip as I nodded in understanding. He wanted someone in his bed and thought I would be an easy target. I was so stupid and fell for it. He reached up to wipe my tears away but I pulled back out of his reach. "Don't touch me," I warned him.

"Just let me explain," he begged.

"No need, I have to go," I said as I stood and the room began to spin. "Shit," I yelled loudly and sat back down, "you got me drunk."

"If you want to go, I'll take you. I'm not the kind of guy who lets a girl leave alone."

"And I'm sure you're not the kind of guy who lets a girl sleep all alone in her big scary bed either," I said harshly.

His jaw tightened and I could tell I was making him angry. "I have a big day tomorrow, so I doubt date rape will be on my agenda tonight."

"Live to the fullest, remember?"

"Look around, pumpkin; if I wanted an easy lay I could have my pick. I want to get to know you, that is what I want from you. Why are you so sure I only want to fuck you?"

I opened my mouth to answer but I had to admit I didn't have an answer. He hadn't been disrespectful to me; he had been sweet and tender. "I have to be careful, the press can be brutal," I finally said.

The band began playing another slow song and Edward led me to the dance floor again. This time I melted right into him. I was dizzy, but I wasn't so sure it was from the alcohol.

I actually recognized the song playing, only without the western edge, and when the band sang, _You want a man with a slow hand, you want a lover with an easy touch._ I thought my entire body was going to explode.

When he kissed my neck I sighed, and he began making his way with kisses to my ear.

"You fit so nicely in my arms," he whispered and I felt my knees turn to mush.

I ran my hand into his hair that was sticking out from his hat and twisted it around my fingers. He backed up just enough to look into my eyes and tilted his head, so his hat wouldn't bump into me.

"Do you want me to take you back to your hotel?"

I didn't trust my mouth so I shook my head back and forth.

He leaned in so slowly, I thought my heart would stop beating in my chest, and kissed me very softly. It was torturous and I wanted to jam my tongue down his throat. I tightened my hand around his neck and pulled him in again. He kept the kiss light and just barely brushed his lips against mine, driving me absolutely crazy.

"Kiss me," I complained, wanting so much more than his feathery touch.

Someone knocked into us at that moment and I would have fallen down, if he wasn't holding me so tightly. Edward glared at the guy and said emphatically, "Apologize to the lady."

The man looked me up and down and sneered at my shoes, "I don't see a lady."

I was stunned when Edward grabbed the guy and pushed him into the deep crowded dance floor. "Now you're going to apologize twice," he yelled.

The man narrowed his eyes and a couple of his buddies stood next to him with their hands pulled into fists. I grabbed Edward's arm and said, "It's okay, really."

"Go sit down," Edward said and turned back to the men. Emmett came to stand next to Edward and smiled largely.

"James, are you starting some shit?" Emmett said with a chuckle.

"Your brother thinks I need to apologize to his whore, he's wrong."

Edward swung so quickly James never saw it coming, until Edward's fist connected with his jaw. "You owe her three now," Edward screamed.

I had no idea what happened after that point. The entire dance floor erupted into fighting and Alice pulled me back to the table, completely unconcerned. I stared in shock at the violence around me and she laughed, "Don't worry, its how they play."

"Play?" I asked suddenly feeling very sober.

"They relieve the tension by hitting each other, it makes the bulls less scary," she giggled.

"This is insane," I said under my breath. I watched the band just continue to perform as if nothing was happening.

I had no idea what made it finally end, but the police were not even called. The man named James walked over to me, with a swollen eye and a bloody lip, and tipped his hat, "Sorry," he said and I nodded numbly.

Edward came back and sat down like he had only taken a bathroom break. I stared in confusion and finally said, "You're bleeding."

He put a napkin up to the small cut next to his eye and said, "It's nothing."

"What the hell was that?" I asked as I continued to stare at him.

"He was rude, he needed to apologize," he stated bluntly.

"I'm guessing you're not big on turning the other cheek."

"I'm not weak," he said as if I had insulted him.

Emmett came up and extended his fist for Edward to bump and said, "Nuts and guts."

Edward said it back and both guys smiled. I looked at Rosalie and she jumped on Emmett's lap and kissed him passionately. Obviously Emmett's fighting was foreplay to her. I noticed Edward's parents were on the dance floor and I wondered if his father had been fighting, too.

This whole world was so confusing for me. Edward was kissing me too lightly one moment and punching a guy's face the next. Maybe psychotic people were drawn to this lifestyle.

Mike walked up to me with a pretty girl on his arm. I smiled at the girl and then glared at Mike. "Can you take a cab?" he asked me.

"Sure," I said and pitied the poor girl.

"I'll take her," Edward said and Mike smirked knowingly at me as he said "I bet he will."

"You better watch your attitude," Edward warned him.

"He's my manager," I explained, and prayed Edward wouldn't punch him.

"I don't care who he is, he better treat you with respect."

"You're not my father," I said as I rolled my eyes.

Edward's brow furrowed and he looked confused, "What does that have to do with anything?"

I ignored him and turned back to Mike, "When do we leave tomorrow?"

"Um, I'm not sure; I'll leave you a message after I check."

I had a suspicious feeling Mike did not tell me everything about this 'eating crow' trip he had arranged for me. I had a concert next weekend in Denver and hoped I wasn't going straight there from here.

"Don't forget about the concert in Denver next weekend," I reminded him before he walked away and I turned back to Edward.

He smiled in a way that made me so nervous. He was going to take me back to the hotel and I had to find the strength to send him right away. I grabbed a beer off the table and took a long drink. I immediately felt the effects again and sat down. Edward pulled a chair up next to me and I picked up a napkin and dabbed his cut again.

"Does it hurt?" I asked him and he chuckled as he shook his head back and forth.

"I'm guessing you have plenty of scars," I said, not meaning I wanted him to show them to me.

"Not too many, I told you I'm good at what I do."

"And why do you do this?" I said as I motioned toward the crowd.

"It's a way of life, my dad lived this way, and his dad, it's ingrained in my genes."

"I just don't get it," I said softly.

"We are a normal family. We live on a ranch in California and we work hard, as well as, play hard."

"I'm an only child," I said with a smile.

"Your parents must be very proud of you," he said and moved a strand of hair behind my ear. I felt my face blush and shook my head in the negative.

"They felt college would have been a better avenue."

"Surely they are proud of your success."

I felt the tears form again and took a deep breath. "It's hard when you want to be a grown up and the rag magazines report every sordid detail of your life for your policeman father to read."

"Am I a sordid detail?" he asked.

"Let me see, famous cowboy takes Bella Swan back to hotel after drunken brawl….hum….your looking pretty sordid," I laughed.

"Why don't I go get the microphone and you can insult France this time, so I get left out of the story," he laughed as if he came up with the perfect plan.

I smiled and stared at his beautiful face and then sighed, "I think I better take a cab back to the hotel."

"Or you can stay here with me?" he suggested.

"It would just sell more magazines," I told him honestly.

He played with my fingers and spoke softly without looking at me. "The cameras here only care about the cowboys. I think you would be noticed less here than at the hotel."

"But the walk of shame in the morning would be plastered across the news stands, as I scurried back to the hotel."

He raised his eyes to meet mine and my heart began racing yet again. "I want you to stay," he said quietly.

3

He was actually asking me to spend the night with him. How could I say no, he was so sweet and made me feel protected? But the truth was I didn't even know this guy, and maybe he was going to film the whole thing and sell it on the open market. I had to be smart and not place all my trust in a cute guy.

"I can't," I said sadly.

He looked at his watch and said, "Will you take a walk with me?"

I smiled and leaned my forehead against his before saying, "A walk doesn't mean sex, does it?"

"No, just a walk," he said sadly and I felt badly for insinuating anything different.

"I would really like to take a walk with you, Edward Cullen." I smiled and he returned the gesture as he stood and pulled me toward the back of the center.

We headed down a narrow hallway and a security guard opened a door revealing a long path under the street to the arena. When we exited the other side we were in the back of the arena where all the RV's were parked. People were all over the place caring for animals and he led me to a temporary corral filled with horses.

"This is my best friend," he said as he rubbed the head of the horse that came right up to him.

"Man-o-war?" I asked.

Edward smiled big and nodded; seemingly impressed I remembered the name of his horse. "He's an American Quarter Horse," he said and I had no idea what that meant. "He would give his life for me, of course he is worth much more than my life is," he laughed.

"Are horses expensive?" I asked as I tentatively put my hand out to touch his horse.

"That one over there," he said pointing to a horse with a braided mane, "cost Alice over a hundred grand."

"Holy crap, and my father complained about the price of guitars. Do all these belong to your family?" I asked as I looked around the tight enclosure.

"Yeah, my father and Jasper are vets. My dad takes care of the ranch stock and Jasper takes care of the rodeo stock. I'll show you my other baby," he said taking my hand again.

He led me to a truck, with tires up to my waist, and loaded with every option you could imagine. His name was painted on the side with a picture of him riding a bull.

I laughed loudly and walked around the massive thing, "Oh, man, you are really trying to compensate for something. This must get five miles per gallon."

"I think it is my version of manifest destiny," he laughed. "There are no lands to conquer so I have to conquer the road."

"Does everything you ride have to be dangerous?" I teased.

"Not everything, there's my trailer," he said pointing to a gorgeous motor home with more pictures and his name everywhere.

"How did you get them both here?" I asked as I looked back and forth between the two.

"A driver brings the trailer," he explained.

He walked over and opened the door for me to look inside. I was so jealous at how much nicer his trailer was than mine. I looked at every inch of the thing before turning back to look at him. He was leaning against the counter of the small kitchen and I realized I had fallen for his game.

"Shit," I said under my breath and he gave me an odd look. "I fell for it; you got me into your trailer."

"I'm not blocking the door; you can leave if you don't want to be here."

I didn't like the way he phrased it, because it forced me to admit I did want to be there. I glared at him and he only smiled. "How old are you, Bella?"

"Twenty-three."

"So is Alice, I'm twenty five."

"Is that old in cowboy years?" I asked.

He chuckled and said slyly, "I'm in my prime."

I felt a shiver run through me again and I crossed my arms awkwardly.

"I wish you had some of your music on you," he said as he nodded to the couch. "I would love to hear it."

"It isn't your style, believe me," I laughed and sat at the end furthest from him.

He shrugged, "I would still like to hear it."

"I'll give you a CD," I offered.

We sat in silence for a moment and I finally found the courage to look at him. He licked his lips and I watched his tongue glide over his mouth and disappear again. I swallowed and noticed how dry my mouth felt.

"Come here," he whispered with a jerk of his head, almost taking my breath away.

I wanted to stay put so badly. My mind was screaming at me to walk out that door, but my body had a will of its own and moved towards him. He held his arms open and I collapsed into them as he lay back on the cushions, pulling me on top of him.

"Ow," I yelled, "Is that a weapon?" I climbed off of him to stare at his massive gold buckle.

He let his head fall back in laughter and I realized how my words sounded. "I was talking about your buckle," I said with a red face.

"Damn, I was ready to get rid of the truck," he teased.

"Get rid of the buckle and work up to the truck," I said shaking my head. I walked back to the end of the couch and sat.

He stood and looked right at me as he pulled his shirt from his jeans and removed his belt. I reached out for it and he laid it in my hand, which immediately dropped from the weight of it.

"Oh my God," I laughed. "How do you carry this huge thing around?"

"We're still talking about the buckle, right?" he said with a sultry voice. He pulled on the ends of his shirt and the buttons quickly unsnapped showing his bare chest. His muscles were taut and rippling, even though he had a thin frame.

I tried so hard to look away but his body was perfect, just like his face, and I wanted to touch it. I pulled my hands into a fist and forced myself to remain sitting. He stuck his heel in some contraption and pulled his leg, leaving the boot on the floor. He repeated the action and then came to sit next to me.

"There, nothing dangerous left."

I shook my head in disagreement. "I already told you, you are a very dangerous man."

He looked into my eyes and then at my mouth before saying, "I wouldn't hurt you."

"Really…Because you're killing me right now," I whispered with a smile.

He put his hand on the back of my head and held me captive as he moved toward my mouth. I reached up and pulled his hat from his head and tossed it before putting my hand into his hair. He kissed me very lightly again and I wanted to cry from the frustration it produced.

I followed him as he backed away, placing my lips firmly onto his and wrapping his hair in my fist. He moaned and I lifted off the cushion, pushing him back so I could stretch out onto him. His legs wrapped around my calves holding me pinned to the couch.

I ran my hands over his chest, not used to men who didn't wax, and moved his open shirt out of the way so I could kiss my way around his muscles. He let his arms drop over his head, and he closed his eyes, as he moaned loudly.

Something was off and I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I was getting more and more aggressive as my body demanded his attention. He held my face in his hands and tilted my head away as he kissed my neck so tenderly.

I was panting loudly and wanted to rip his jeans from his body when it dawned on me what was different. He was touching me softly and moving slowly, and I had expected the exact opposite. I thought he would be rough and wild, like he was with the bronc.

I began to follow his pace and take my time with every inch of him. I let my lips trail over his as my fingers outlined his face gently. When he flattened his hands against my shoulder blades and pulled me tightly to him, I pushed up onto my locked arms and looked into his eyes. I could see the fire burning right under the surface and his control amazed me.

"You are so beautiful," he murmured.

"I'm quickly losing control," I told him hoping he had enough for both of us.

Instead he reached under my shirt and pulled it from my body. He looked down at my chest and touched my bare back very lightly, before kissing the exposed skin. I arched into him, wanting to beg him to let the torture end and move quickly.

He rolled over me and sat up; bringing my foot to his chest he pulled off my shoe and sock and then cleared the other foot. He bent over, still on his knees to kiss my stomach and I lifted my body up to meet him. He kissed his way up to my bra and unhooked the front clasp with his teeth causing me to laugh.

"It's not my first rodeo," he said against my skin.

"Obviously," I laughed.

He finally, finally, came to my mouth, letting the full weight of his body lie against me, and kissed me like I had been wanting. His mouth consumed me and I couldn't catch my breath. I felt like I was fusing into him and would never be able to be just Bella again.

My arms were wrapped so tightly around him I wasn't sure if I was hurting him or not, but his kiss deepened even more and I cursed the jeans we were both still wearing for blocking my path from truly having him.

He finally moved from my mouth and I gasped loudly for air and heard him growl into my neck. "God, Edward," I yelled out.

"Tell me what you want," he said into my ear.

"You, I want you," I panted, feeling actual pain from wanting him so badly.

"How, tell me how you want me," he asked and I cried out when he rocked his pelvis against me.

"Just fuck me already," I said with labored breath.

He chuckled and shook his head, "I don't do that," he whispered and I pulled on his hair, making him look at me.

"Then show me what you do and stop with the teasing," I demanded.

He stood and pulled me to my feet. I was about to let loose with a string of profanities when he picked me up and headed to the large bed in the back of the trailer. As soon as I was on the bed he began undoing my jeans and I quickly kicked my legs out of them.

He removed his in one fluid motion along with his boxers and I stared at him like a he was manna. He grabbed the tiny side of my panties and ripped them with his bare hands as I pulled him to me.

"Bella, think about this, if you want me to stop, just say the word."

"Are you insane?" I said and began kissing him passionately.

"I don't want you to regret anything," he said as he pushed away a bit.

I took a deep breath and he stared at me, waiting for the go ahead. "Edward, I know this is happening so fast, and I know you either want me to go away afterwards, or show up again tomorrow night. I just want you to keep quiet about it, okay?"

He moved away from me, and sat up against the head of the bed, as he tried to steady his breathing. "I want to get to know you, Bella. I don't want you going anywhere."

I crawled up to him, sitting next to his lap so I could look at him closely. "I'm trying to stay detached, because a guy like you could really break my heart. I'm not asking for anything from you, except for what I need right now."

He looked at me for several moments and then gently moved me to the side. "You can get dressed and I'll call you a cab."

I watched in complete shock as he climbed off the bed, grabbed his jeans, and left the room. I looked at my torn underwear and threw them at the door as I pulled on my jeans. I walked out, to put my bra and shirt back on, just as Edward hung up the phone. He turned to face me and I said, "Don't you dare speak to me."

I got dressed and angrily tied my shoes without putting on my socks and walked out the door. Edward ran after me and I put my arm out to stop him.

"Please, just let me leave without any more humiliation. Haven't you had enough fun at my expense?"

"I told you I wanted more, I wasn't playing you," he said angrily.

"More what?" I asked him. "I will never see you again, so how exactly do you want more?

He shook his head and took a couple of steps back, "Goodbye, Bella."

I walked to the front of the arena and found a cab waiting. As soon as I entered the back seat the driver asked, "Aren't you Bella Swan?"

"Yeah," I tried to smile, "I sang at the Rodeo earlier." I turned my head so the driver couldn't see me clearly and tried not to cry. I was mad, upset, and extremely frustrated. When we pulled in front of the hotel I tossed a fifty on the seat and ran from the cab to the elevator. I could see the flashing of the cameras and only hoped I had kept my head down enough to make my face undetectable.

I ran a hot bath and sat in the bubbles as I cried. I was mad at myself for being so stupid, I didn't even know the guy and I was crying over him. I forced myself to admit it was only the sex I was missing, not him.

I got out of the tub and pulled the towel off of my dry hair. I put on a robe and was lathering on the lotion when I heard a knock at my door. I was sure it was Mike making sure I was safely back and was surprised to see someone from the front desk through the peep hole.

"Yes," I asked, keeping the door closed.

"I have a delivery for you, Ms. Swan," he answered.

"Just leave it by the door," I told him and went back to finishing the lotion. When I was done I walked to the door and opened it only holding my robe shut in front of me.

Edward was sitting on the floor next to the door and looked up at me. I looked around in confusion and he smiled. "I had myself delivered to you," he said.

I tried not to smile and folded my arms in front of me. "What do you want, Edward?"

He stood and stepped closer to me and I automatically backed up, but he took another step. "I want to apologize," he said softly.

"For what?" I asked wanting to know exactly what he was sorry about.

"For letting you leave, I'm sorry I let you leave."

"You owe me some underwear," I said and wanted to kick myself. I had no idea why I said those words, but looking at him had me flustered and I couldn't think straight.

"Okay," he laughed, "I guess I got carried away."

The elevator opened and I reflexively moved back into the room. Edward followed and closed the door softly. I raised my eyebrows at him, letting him know I had not invited him in.

"Can we talk?" he asked with a sad face.

I nodded to the sitting area and we both sat on the couch. I waited for him to speak and he seemed to be struggling with what he wanted to say. "Can you...If I asked…I mean Denver is my next stop."

"You want to see me in Denver?" I asked slightly confused.

"No, I want to take you to Denver," he clarified.

I laughed, but he didn't, so I let my mouth fall open. "Edward, I can't just go off with you."

"You're going to Denver and I have to be there for a rodeo, so I'm offering you a ride."

"I don't even have my concert clothes with me," I explained.

"They can be sent," he said, knowing how things worked.

I bit my lip and decided to talk honestly. "Edward, you scare me, and not that I think you would hurt me or that you are actually dangerous, but I'm a small town girl and you're this larger than life guy."

He shook his head in disagreement. "Bella, I'm just like you. I'm doing what I love to do and just happened to become famous for it. I want a woman who wants to know me, not the poster version of who they think I am."

I understood what he meant. He made me feel wanted without even knowing I was famous or what my music sounded like.

"We have nothing in common," I pointed out.

"I've done the common route; it's not what it's cracked up to be."

"Mike won't allow it," I said as my mind began actually considering his proposition.

"You're his boss," Edward pointed out and I was a little pissed for not figuring that out earlier.

"Come here," I whispered and watched the smile grow on his face.

He scooted closer and lifted my legs over his lap and let his head rest against the couch. As he stared into my eyes his hand began moving slowly up my leg and under the robe. I inhaled deeply and my body began to shake from all the pent up need.

I straddled his lap and began undoing his jeans. "You asked me how I wanted you, just like this," I told him.

He kept his head back and moved my robe back to expose my hips so he could hold them tightly. I set the pace and moved with a purpose, meeting all my needs in one explosive release. I let my head fall onto his shoulder and he rolled me onto my back as he went to work again.

I had never known a man this knowledgeable about how to please a woman. I couldn't keep my mouth shut as I praised him, thanked him, and cried out for him. He was covered in sweat and when he finally got there his strength was amazing. He lifted my hips off the cushions and held them with one arm as he arched into me in spasms.

He was beautiful and manly at the same time and I felt like I wanted to cry. He dropped my body and kept his arms locked to stay above me. I ran my hands up his arms and begged him, "Come here, come to me."

He lowered himself slowly and kissed me softly as he whispered, "Thank you, Bella."

"You are so amazing," I said with what little strength I had left.

"That was all you, love," he said as he buried his head in my neck.

I held him to me and smiled when I heard him beginning to breathe deeply and steadily. I didn't want him to get too deeply asleep, since he was still wearing his clothes and had his jeans around his knees.

"Edward," I said softly and ran my hands through his hair.

"Yeah, I'll go," he moaned.

"I really want you to stay," I said and he lifted his head to look at me sleepily.

"Please, tell me I'm not dreaming."

"If you are, I'm going to cry," I told him honestly.

He stood and pulled up his pants following me into the bedroom. I took off his shirt and pants after he removed his own boots and turned down the bed. He walked over and took off my robe and then nodded to the bed, "Ladies first."

I decided at that moment I loved the cowboy culture. He was the first man I had met who actually put my needs ahead of his own and I felt my heart make room for Edward Cullen to enter. I snuggled up to his side and he pulled me into his arms and sighed.

"Bella," he called out softly.

"Yeah?"

"This has been my best night, ever."

I smiled and kissed his chest. I had been so angry at Mike for making me come here and now Canada would be my favorite country.


	2. Chapter 4 thru 6

4

My phone woke me up the next morning and it took me a minute to remember where I was and who I was with. Edward reached over to pick it up and handed it to me.

"Yeah," I said softly. Mike was on the other end informing me of an interview I needed to give.

"What time?" I asked. He gave me all the instructions and I was relieved to hear I wouldn't have to leave the hotel

"Okay, bye."

"Do you need me to go?" Edward asked and I tightened my hold on him.

"No, I have an interview this afternoon, hail Canada," I said trying to sound enthusiastic.

"Are you coming to see me ride tonight?" he asked and I wondered why he bothered. This guy owned me after how he performed, and I was not meaning his rodeo skills.

"Of course, do I need to buy a ticket or anything?"

"No, you're my guest and you can sit in our family booth, which is what I want to talk to you about." He seemed nervous, so I sat up to look at him.

"Um… bull riding is dangerous, and it takes a lot of mental preparation. I kind of tune everything out and I don't want you to think I'm ignoring you or something."

I laughed and gave him a soft punch in the ribs, "You sound as if you have made this speech before."

"No, actually women I've…dated, understand the rodeo, and to be honest it has never mattered to me before. You matter, Bella," he said as he ran his finger down my face.

"I couldn't take it if I had to watch you get hurt," I said softly. "So don't get upset if you see me with my eyes covered."

He chuckled and put his hands behind his head and said, "You are going to want me so badly after you see me ride."

"And I thought I had a big ego," I laughed.

"You'll see," he said confidently.

I climbed over him and looked down at his eyes and said, "What if I want you so badly right now?"

"I'd give you my best effort," he smiled and I leaned down to kiss him.

His gentle hands came to my backside and he squeezed lightly and moaned. He drove me absolutely crazy with his slow movements and I tried my best to speed him up, but he knew what he was doing and I screamed his name as everything disappeared but him.

He pressed down on my thigh with one hand, the other one rose into the air as his entire body clinched. He looked like a bronc rider and I laughed at his movement as I struggled to breathe. "Am I supposed to give you a score?"

"Sorry, it's instinctual," he said slightly embarrassed.

"Don't apologize, God, please don't be sorry," I laughed. He was so amazing in bed and I wondered if all cowboys were given some secret training that made them so attentive and tender. "Is it okay to have sex the day you ride?" I asked genuinely curious.

"It is strongly encouraged," he laughed uncomfortably.

"Oh really, so I'm just part of the pre ride prep?"

"Don't say that, it sounds ugly." He rolled over and held my face in his hands. "If I get a high score, you get all the credit, love."

"You're such a manly man," I said, knowing how stupid I sounded, but not caring.

"And you're all woman," he said as he kissed me deeply.

His cell phone rang and I whined against his lips. He grabbed his jeans off the floor and pulled out his phone.

"Hi dad," he said and came back to bed.

I stared at him in shock when he said "I'm in bed with Bella, at her hotel." I knew we were both adults but I had never been in bed with a man when his father called before.

His face pulled into a concerned frown and he sat up again. "What does Jasper say?"

He listened for a bit and said, "Yeah, I'll be there within the hour."

He hung up and turned to look at me with regret.

"You can't just tell your father you're in bed with me," I said in shock.

"Why?"

"I mean, it's your dad."

"He knows I have sex," he laughed loudly. "And I can guarantee your parents know you have sex, too."

"No, they don't. They don't even admit to having sex."

He looked at me with a stunned face and then laughed again. "They honestly believe you're a twenty three year old virgin pop star?"

"Absolutely. My father is very conservative and he wears a gun."

He smiled and moved closer to me and ran his finger from my collarbone to my bellybutton. "So he would be shocked to know his daughter told me to 'fuck her already'."

"You can never meet my parents," I said truthfully. I could imagine Edward fondling me in front of my father and having his brains splattered across the wall.

"I'll be respectable when I meet your folks," he promised and I looked away as I smiled. I was happy he was thinking about a relationship and not just a way to relax before an event. I was falling for him fast and it was a relief to know he was thinking long term.

"What was the call about?" I asked.

"Um, yeah, my draw got pulled. That means..."

"I know what it means," I gloated and he looked at me with suspicion. "The bull the computer matched you with can't perform."

He laughed and shook his head, so I fessed up, "The girl I sat by yesterday explained it all."

"Do you mind if I arrange for Rosalie to pick you up after your interview?"

"Why?"

"Because I want to be hospitable, you're staying to see me ride and my family should be gracious."

"What era are you from?" I asked, noticing how old fashioned he was at one moment and then so liberal in another.

"I want you to feel comfortable, Bella, you matter."

"Okay, let me give you my cell number." He handed me his phone and I put my name and number in it, adding an A in front of Bella, so it showed up first in his phone.

He took his phone back and called the front desk asking for a car to pick him up from the kitchen door. He finished dressing as I sat in the bed and watched his every movement. He gave me a loving kiss and I said, "Good luck, tonight."

"You don't need luck when you've got skill," he smiled.

"You definitely have skill," I said and pulled him back for another kiss.

"Have a great day," he said leaving the room.

"Remember to spur evenly," I yelled and he laughed loudly.

"You don't spur a bull," he yelled back and I fell onto my pillow laughing.

I was so crazy about the guy, even if I didn't understand his world. I grabbed the phone and called Mike's room. I expected him to put up a big fight that I would be going right to Denver from here, but he didn't care in the least. Of course, I left out the fact I was riding with Edward. I was feeling independent and like I was finally an adult.

I got dressed, making sure I didn't look anything like I would be attending a Rodeo, and headed to the conference room for my interview. The reporter was from a major magazine and I greeted him with a huge smile.

"Are you enjoying Canada?" he asked me.

"I love it here. There is so much going on and such a diverse population."

"I understand you attended the Rodeo yesterday."

"Yes, I was honored to sing the national anthem and got to watch the action. It was very intense," I said with a smile.

"Are you attending today?"

I wanted to scream at him to just say what he wanted to say, but this was a game I knew how to play. "I met Alice Cullen; I may watch her ride today."

"Did you meet Edward Cullen?"

"Um…maybe, which brother is he?"

"Is it true you will be singing on Broadway in the fall?"

"Yes, I'll be playing Roxie Hart in the musical Chicago."

"Are you enjoying the tour?"

"It has been great. Performing live for the fans is invigorating. It is the part of the job I enjoy the most."

"Are you seeing anyone, or does your schedule prevent it?"

"I'm just enjoying the tour. I'm not looking for a relationship." I tried to look him in the eyes and not react to the lie I just told.

The interview went on way too long and was so boring I had to wonder what lies he would put in the article to spice it up. We said our goodbyes and I returned to my room. I wasn't there long when a knock sounded and I opened the door to see Rosalie waiting for me.

"Esme and I are going shopping, would you like to join us?"

"Sure," I said uncomfortably. Rosalie was so fierce, and standing in her presence was intimidating. She stepped back and I grabbed my wallet before joining her.

"We need to make you country," she said looking at my clothes.

"I wouldn't have a clue where to start," I admitted.

"Edward said you don't want to be recognized. What better way than by blending in with the crowd."

"I'm afraid I would just feel silly," I said and noticed how she tensed a bit. "Not that there is anything wrong with your clothes. I'm just not used to looking that way."

"What way, silly?" she asked showing she was not going to let it go.

"I'm sorry, I have a horrible habit of sticking my foot in my mouth," I said as I let my head fall. I was sure one day with the family would send Edward running far from me.

"Why don't we find you an outfit and we'll just call it, country light," she said hatefully.

I knew at that moment Edward had been talking about me and I got really pissed at him. When we reached the lobby door Rosalie put her arm around me and led me quickly to a waiting limo. Esme and another woman were waiting in the back.

"Hello, dear," Esme said with a smile. "This is Edward's Aunt Kate.

"Hi," I said shyly and began adjusting my skirt.

"We need to get her wrangler's and ropers," Rosalie announced and both women smiled. I didn't have a clue what she meant, but I smiled, too.

"Did Edward get another draw?" I asked trying to fit in.

I noticed how Rosalie and Esme looked at each other before answering. "Yes, it will be a more difficult ride, but a chance at a higher score," Esme said kindly.

"Do you get nervous watching your kids, do what they do?" I asked her.

"I've watched them for so many years and I know how talented they really are. Edward takes too many risks, but Emmett is there to watch out for him."

I never considered Edward had to take risks to be on top, but I'm sure it was like a lot of things in life, you have to have the nerve to reach beyond your abilities sometimes to make it to the top.

"He has real competition this year from a cowboy named Jacob Black. He's a young kid off the reservation and he's gunning for Edward. He will have to stay focused this year, if he wants to keep his title," Rosalie explained and looked at me as if she was giving me a warning.

"He's giving me a ride to Denver because I have a concert there next weekend. I'm not going to be traveling with him," I explained so the hateful stares would end, but Rosalie just huffed and rolled her eyes at me.

The car stopped at a store I didn't recognize and when we walked through the door it smelled strongly of leather. The woman walked around the racks of clothes picking things out and I searched for anything I would feel normal wearing.

"Try these on," Rosalie demanded and I headed for the dressing room. I pulled the jeans on and began laughing. They went just below my bellybutton and I was used to jeans riding very low on my hips. I stepped out and showed her the ridiculous fit.

"I know" she said, "They make them so low nowadays."

"Low…I was going to say they are too high waisted."

Rosalie looked at them again and said, "They are not high waisted."

I didn't have the nerve to tell her I would feel silly wearing them. I kept my mouth shut this time and headed back into the dressing room. I snapped up the shirt and felt totally silly in the plaid button down. I pulled on the boots and stood back to look at myself. Surely the woman would see what they were doing and let me wear my own clothes.

I came out of the room and all three women smiled from ear to ear. "Oh God, you can't expect me to wear this," I begged them.

"You need a belt," Esme said as she began looking at straps of leather. "Can you do silver tacks right now, or does it need to be sent out?" Esme asked the sales girl.

"We can do them now," the girl answered.

"Wonderful, put Bella on this one."

"On what?" I asked making sure I wasn't getting a silver mouth grill or something like that.

"A western belt," Esme said with a chuckle. I hated to think she was laughing at me. She seemed so sweet and if she was laughing I was sure the entire arena would be laughing.

"Bella, what kind of hat do you want. It is something very personal so make sure it feels…right," Aunt Kate said.

I walked over to her and looked at the foreign objects. "Is there any certain thing I should look for?" I asked.

"Just start trying them on and find what you like," she smiled.

I stared, without a clue what to do, when Rosalie came to help me. "If you pick a black one, we have to change the boots. Brown will look fine now, but as the weather cools down you will want a black one."

"I only plan on wearing it once, so I don't think it really matters."

She began placing hats on my head and stood back to look at them. She finally decided on two and let me look in the mirror to choose one. I handed it to her and she took it to the counter and began give instructions to have it steamed and molded into a certain shape.

I went back to the dressing room and changed, wanting out of the clothes as soon as possible. I handed Rosalie the belt and asked her if I needed to pick out a buckle.

"Heaven's no," she laughed. "Edward will pick out one of his to give you. It is a big deal which one he picks."

"It won't be that huge gold one, will it?" Whatever I said made her double over with laughter. She called out to Esme and Kate, telling them what I had asked and they joined in with the amusement.

"He isn't allowed to let anyone wear his All Around buckle. They would make him return it if he did," Rosalie said.

"It is so big, because being All Around is a very big deal. Consider it an Emmy or a Grammy," Esme explained for me.

"Tanya has the one Edward gave her, doesn't she?" Kate asked.

"Who is Tanya," I asked hoping it was the name of one of his horses.

"My daughter," Aunt Kate replied. "And Edward's cousin."

"Yeah, right," Rosalie snickered under her breath. I suddenly was very interested in Tanya.

"Why did he give her a buckle?" I asked Rosalie and she waved her hand to dismiss me.

Instead of taking me back to the hotel they took me to Rosalie's trailer. I was told Edward would not be coming by and was working on a problem with some gear. I wanted to catch a glimpse of him so badly, but instead I got to meet Tanya.

She knocked on the trailer door and then walked right in. She looked a lot like Rosalie, not any of the Cullen's. Her hair was long and blonde and she had very blue eyes.

Rosalie smiled and said, "Tanya meet Bella, she's Edward's guest tonight."

Tanya smiled and extended her hand as she looked at my clothes. "Are you a local?" she asked.

"No," I laughed at something only I would find funny. "I sang at the opening ceremony."

"Ah, yes, that is where I recognize you from. Are you enjoying the rodeo?"

"Sure, it's very different from what I am used to," I admitted.

"Don't let it fool you, it's just a bunch of losers on horses," she laughed and Esme smacked the back of her head.

I liked her and hoped she would be sitting with the family, so I could have someone to talk with. When everyone began to get ready Rosalie showed me a small room where I could have some privacy. I dressed in the new clothes and used some of the makeup to freshen up, before heading into the common area, so everyone could comment on my western look. I just blushed and looked at my boots.

"Come on," Rose said and pulled me by the hand, "We'll see what buckle Edward left you."

I walked with her and Esme to his trailer, and when we walked in, he was on the floor with a bunch of metal disks laid out in front of him. He jumped up and looked me up and down before lifting me by the waist and into his arms.

"This has been the longest day of my life," he said into my hair.

"Can we just leave, and go back to the hotel," I begged him. "I heard you have a harder ride."

"Nothing I can't handle, you look amazing," he said to bolster me.

"Nobody will recognize me for sure."

"Give us the belt and let us go," Rosalie demanded. "You don't even have your rowels ready."

He took my hand and led me to his room, shutting the door behind us before kissing me deeply. When he pulled away I stood there with my eyes still closed, praying he wasn't some dream or he wasn't only making good on a bet. "Anything wrong?" he asked softly.

"No, everything is right," I smiled and he kissed me again.

"Come on," Rosalie yelled in the other room.

Edward picked up my belt from the bed and handed it to me. I looked at the buckle, it was square not round and made of silver. I didn't get a chance to read the writing, since he pulled it from my hand and began putting it through the loops of my much too high jeans.

"Perfect," he said when he stood back to look at it.

I looked at him and his smile as making my heart melt. Our eyes locked and I had to gasp to get air. "I really need you to kiss me again," I whispered.

He walked over and slowly leaned in for a deep sensuous kiss and I wanted to beg him to remove my clothes and stay with me in the trailer. A loud knock sounded on his bedroom door and Emmett yelled from the other side, "Damn it, Edward. Cut the shit and focus. You don't even have your gear ready."

"I better go," I said, terrified Emmett would knock down the door and throw me out.

Edward only tightened his hold on me and kissed me again, and again, until my breathing was becoming labored. "I really need to go, Emmett will be mad," I managed to say.

He took my hand and led me to the other room. The entire group looked stunned at the sight of the square silver at my waist. "You can't give her that," Rosalie said angrily.

"I can give her whatever I want… its mine to give."

"What?" I asked stupidly.

"That is his rookie of the year buckle. He isn't supposed to let anyone else wear it," Esme explained.

"It is not like they have the buckle police who will come after me," Edward laughed. "I want her to wear it."

Emmett stared at his brother like he had totally lost his mind.

"Edward, come on, find me something else," I begged.

He gave me a hurt expression and then said softly, "Bella, you matter."

"Everybody out," Emmett yelled. "You won't be riding shit if you don't get your head on straight."

Everyone began to file out and I gave Edward a hug and whispered, "Be careful riding shit."

He didn't release me and instead pushed me against the wall and kissed me again. "Damn it, Edward," Emmett yelled loudly, so I pushed him away from me and ran out the door. Rosalie gave me a disapproving glare and I could tell Esme was worried about something.

I finally put the hat on and looked back to see Edward standing in the doorway. A pair of large hands came over his shoulders and pulled him into the trailer, making me laugh.

5

We headed to the family seats, right next to the alley where the riders entered and the bulls would exit. We had the perfect view of the chute and I felt my heart speed up in anticipation. When the Rodeo began, there was another parade of queens, and some children trying to ride sheep. It looked dangerous and I didn't understand why mothers would let their kids get tossed off of an animal.

Carlisle showed up and called for the family. Rosalie turned to me and said, "You can come if you want, but it is just a family tradition thing."

I followed, staying purposely behind them, and smiled when I saw Edward carrying Alice on his back. He was dressed in chaps and spurs, wearing a padded Kevlar vest and holding a helmet. Emmett walked in wearing clown make-up and a funny outfit. I didn't laugh, he looked scary, and nothing like a circus clown.

Alice jumped down from Edward's back and ran up to her parents. They all formed a circle and joined hands, before bowing their heads. Carlisle spoke, but his back was to me and I couldn't hear him.

When they finished Carlisle and Esme gave Alice a kiss and then moved on to Edward. Emmett took hold of Edward's face and leaned his forehead against his brothers as he spoke harshly. Edward nodded a couple of times before Emmett kissed him on the forehead and then smacked him across the head.

They bumped fists and repeated, "Nuts and Guts."

Edward saw me at that point and smiled as he waved me over. "You look so hot," I said as he pulled me close and I looked down at the chaps.

"Are you having fun?" he asked.

"I'm nervous, about your draw," I said loving the fact I understood at least one thing.

"Don't be," he said with confidence and kissed me. "I like the hat."

"I'll wear it for you sometime," I giggled and his eyes widened with understanding.

"We have over an hour before my event starts," he said into my ear and I tightened my arms around him

"Bella," Jasper called for me and I looked at him with apprehension. He waved me over and I looked at Edward for an explanation, but he only shrugged and gave me a quick kiss before walking away.

I joined Jasper and we walked toward the stairs leading back to the family box. "I'm a bit worried about your reaction tonight. Have you watched this event before?"

"No, I heard it is intense," I admitted.

"Yeah, and especially with the seat you have," he said and put his hands on his hips. "Look, there is a really good chance Edward could get hurt tonight; I just want you to be prepared."

My heart was beating loudly and my mouth went bone dry. "Why?" I asked softly.

"His head isn't in the game. He's…sloppy."

"Is it my fault?"

"No," he said emphatically. "It is Edward's. I've never seen him so…gone…over someone before. He's never had to work on his focus and I'm afraid he thinks he can just perform on instinct."

"Can he?" I asked, hoping Edward knew himself better than Jasper knew him.

"We'll see. He's just in a tough spot. He has sponsors who depend on him to always be prepared."

I knew what he was saying. The money was always the most important thing and every spoken word or action had to be in the best interest of the corporate logo or sponsorship. Jasper was trying to tell me Edward wasn't focused on the money and that was more dangerous than the bulls.

"Should I leave?"

"It isn't that you are here, it is the fact you got in his head."

I felt tears building and asked the one thing I was afraid to know, "Could he die?"

"Emmett will take care of him," he smiled.

I nodded, but I had no idea how Emmett was going to be able to save Edward from a bull ride. I walked slowly up the stairs and sat down next to Tanya. She looked at my pale face and nudged me with her shoulder. "Relax, he'll be fine."

I smiled slightly and said, "You're the only one who thinks so."

"Edward lives and breathes this, it's in his blood, and he knows what he is doing."

Her words gave me hope and lifted my spirits. I felt the adrenalin flood through me as the announcer began introducing the barrel racers. Alice looked so fierce on her horse and didn't smile once as the crowd cheered for her.

I enjoyed watching the event, and when Alice broke the plane of the laser to start the clock, the entire family screamed loudly. She moved with flawless precision and her horse appeared to be almost lying sideways as it made its way around the barrels. As she headed toward the alley, galloping at full speed, I noticed how she hit the horse over and over again with the reins and I frowned in disapproval.

The announcer said, "And that is why Alice Cullen is the national champion, ladies and gentlemen."

"She won?" I asked Tanya.

"Yes," she said as if it angered her. I wondered if maybe Cousin Tanya was a bit jealous of the Cullens.

The barrels were removed and the bullfighters emerged. The crowed screamed wildly and I whistled loudly when Emmett did a back flip. I watched the guys play around and interact with the crowd. I had to admit I was having a great time, until I looked at the chutes.

I saw a bunch of cowboys standing on railings around the chute and a huge bull with horns came down the ramp and into the hold. Emmett suddenly looked so small and I had no idea how Rosalie could let him do this for a living.

I couldn't tell what the bull rider was doing; he had so many men around him assisting with something. The gate finally opened and I noticed how Emmett placed himself between the bull and the fence. The cowboy fell before the buzzer and I looked at Rosalie's calm face. Emmett got the bulls attention and ran toward the alley with the bull close behind.

I looked down at my hands to see my knuckles were white from tension. After two more cowboys fell, one finally stayed on the full 8 seconds. "Did he win?" I asked Tanya.

"No, this is just the first go round and there are seven more cowboys to ride."

"So if another one stays on, it's a tie?"

"No, see that number over there," she pointed at a large score board. "They can earn up to a hundred points. That guy got a 78, which is okay, but nothing great."

A couple of guys scored in the 80's and I tensed when Edward climbed onto the chute. I noticed Jasper was bent over doing something, but again I couldn't tell what it was. Edward was straddled over the bull, but not sitting on it, when it suddenly reared up inside the tight hold. I screamed loudly and the whole family laughed.

I noticed Jasper looked over at me and I hoped Edward couldn't hear me under his helmet and face protection. I turned my attention to Emmett. He had move away from the chute and further into the arena, but his eyes were trained on Edward the entire time.

The gate opened and I took a deep breath and held it. The bull jumped and kicked, spinning in different directions. At one point, the bull had all four feet off the ground and kicked, sending Edward leaning to the side and fighting to stay on. The buzzer sounded and he instantly fell to the ground.

"Come on, Edward," Carlisle yelled, obviously disappointed. "Watch the sunfishing."

Edward removed his helmet and threw it angrily at the fence. I looked at the scoreboard and saw an 80.

"That was generous," Esme said and Carlisle nodded in agreement.

I had so many questions, but I was afraid to say anything, since it was my fault he was doing so badly. When I looked at Emmett, I saw him standing with his hands on his hips shaking his head back and forth at his parents.

I was beginning to get angry. Edward deserved to have someone in his life. They all had somebody and it wasn't fair to expect him to carry the weight of the family fame. I sat up a bit taller and set my jaw and glared back at Emmett.

The family box was silent until Edward's next go round. He climbed up on the fence and I noticed he had on his hat, not his helmet. "Doesn't he have to wear the helmet?" I asked Tanya.

"No, it limits his view and messes up his center of gravity. I'm sure he is so pissed he is refusing to wear it."

"Can't he get hurt?" I asked with a shaky voice.

"Yes, but if the score is high enough, he won't care."

"That's insane," I said more to myself and she laughed and looked at me. "Edward's insane," she said boldly.

A series of events happened that left me confused. Jasper stood and raised both hands and tapped his wrists together. Emmett moved from his spot on the far side of the wooden barrels, running towards the gate. The entire family jumped to their feet and Carlisle screamed, "Edward, NO."

The bull shot out of the gate spinning in a tight circle as Emmett continued to run right at it. Edward was leaning back, almost lying on the bull with his free arm extended and his hand tucked tightly against his body between his legs. His feet were molded into the bull with his flat edged spurs implanted against the tough hide of the animal.

The bull suddenly turned in the other direction and Edward's arm bent oddly at the wrist and he quickly adjusted to the momentum going the other way. The crowd was screaming in approval and he looked like a post card, the ride was perfection.

When the buzzer sounded, and the crowd cheered, I waited anxiously for him to jump off the kicking animal, but he only sat up fully and began pulling on his gloved hand. Emmett ran up to the side of the raging beast and began pulling on the rope wrapped around Edward's wrist. The bull tossed Emmett like a rag doll into the air as Edward continued to struggle, falling sideways.

"Why isn't he getting off?" I asked in panic.

"He's hung up, his hand is stuck."

I covered my hand over my mouth and watched Edward hold on as his body continued sliding to the side. Emmett made his way back to the bull, and crashed into Edward with his body, before freeing his trapped hand.

Edward fell to the ground and didn't move as the bull continued spinning right next to him. Emmett was screaming and waving his hands to keep the bulls attention away from his wounded brother. As soon as the bull headed down the alley men descended on Edward's still body. Carlisle jumped from the box, into the arena, and ran for his boy.

I was hyperventilating as I held on tightly to the railing in front of me. My mind was replaying the whole ride in slow motion, telling me I had just witnessed the man I was falling in love with die.

My legs gave out from relief when Edward began to stir. He eventually stood and waved his hat at the crowd. I began to cry and couldn't force myself to stop. My entire body was shaking from the scare and when Esme came to hug me I grabbed onto her and sobbed loudly.

The crowd went crazy and I looked up to see a 92 on the scoreboard. The family began screaming and jumping for joy as I only stared in disbelief. Esme took my hand and led me down the stairs and to the back of the arena.

I saw Edward sitting on the back of an ambulance as men worked on his bleeding eyebrow. His eye was already swollen almost shut and he pushed the paramedic away when he saw me. I ran to him and fell into his arms.

"I'm fine," he said into my ear.

"Shut up," I cried, not wanting to hear what I had just witnessed was normal.

"Bella, look at me," he said but I held on tighter, refusing to let him move away from me. "The bull didn't' hurt me, Emmett elbowed me and knocked me out."

Rosalie walked up at that point and yelled, "You selfish son-of-a-bitch. I don't give a damn if you get yourself killed, but you get Emmett killed and I will never forgive you."

"I had it," Edward said loudly.

"No, you didn't, you were sliding. You purposely wrapped and you know it."

"What does she mean?" I asked him, totally confused.

He started to explain but she interrupted him. "He needed a good ride so he wrapped the bull rope around his wrist so he would be tied to the bull. It's cheating."

I looked at Edward and he rolled his eyes. "I tightened the rope, it isn't cheating."

The paramedic pulled Edward back to the ambulance and placed a butterfly stitch on the cut, before handing Edward an ice pack. I smiled at his beautiful face and he smiled back with pure joy. His smile suddenly faded and he grabbed my hand and pulled me behind his body.

I looked past him to see Emmett headed our way. His face was furious and I tried to place myself between them, but Edward pushed me out of the way. I looked at Carlisle thinking he would intervene but he stayed where he was and only watched.

Emmett swung and hit Edward square in the jaw snapping his head to the side.

"You only get one," Edward said and spit blood into the dirt.

Emmett grabbed him by the padded vest and pushed him into the railing. He put his face right up to Edward's and spoke through clenched teeth. "You wrap again and you're done, you hear me?"

"I had it," Edward said through his own anger.

"Bullshit," Emmett said softly and pushed Edward as he let go of him.

He turned to walk off and yelled over his shoulder, "You won."

I had an overwhelming need to get out of there. I was on emotional overload and didn't want to witness one more disturbing thing. I didn't understand this life; a family so closely knit who hits each other and threatens one another.

I began backing up and my limbs felt like jelly. I could feel the blood draining from my face and a loud whooshing sound was filling my ears. The last thing I remembered was Edward's one good eye growing wide as he ran towards me.

6

I opened my eyes to find Jasper staring down at me. I looked around and recognized Edward's trailer, but he was nowhere around. "I need to leave," I said and tried to sit up.

"Here, drink this first," Jasper said handing me a cup. I sipped the liquid and it tasted like sugar water so I handed it back to him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jasper asked me. I wanted to tell him there was no way in hell I was going to use a veterinarian as a shrink, but my head was so confused and I needed to share with someone.

"I don't understand any of this. I thought my life was crazy, but this is…insane."

"It isn't just a sport, it's a way of life," he tried to explain. "We are around animals all the time. We learn how to read them and how to anticipate certain behaviors. Emmett and Edward don't fight because they're cowboys; they fight because they are brothers."

"They fought at the dance, too. This is such a violent culture, and what is with the whole 'nuts and guts' thing?"

"Some guys play football, or box, or race cars. Cowboys ride bulls and broncs and it takes a lot of guts and testosterone," he chuckled.

"I'm surrounded by guys who are artistic and dance. They feel secure enough to express emotions and openly cry." I saw Jasper give me a disapproving look and he was trying hard to keep something from spilling from his mouth.

"And yes, they are gay," I said angrily.

"Oh man, this is going to be ugly," he mumbled and stood to help me up.

"What is?" I demanded to know.

"This whole relationship, I doubt Bella and bulls go together."

"You're right," I said and pulled the belt off of my jeans. "Where's Edward?"

"He's at the closing ceremony."

"Tell him I don't need a ride to Denver after all," I said and headed for the door.

Jasper grabbed me by the arm and I quickly pulled away. "Bella, he deserves to hear it from you," Jasper pointed out.

I stopped with my hand on the doorknob but didn't turn around. "I don't have the nuts or the guts," I said softly and left the trailer.

I changed my clothes as soon as I got to my hotel room and called the airport. I wouldn't be able to leave until the following morning and I cussed the country again. I packed all my stuff and put on some music to go over some singing exercises to keep my mind off of Edward.

I was singing about love and passion, and it hurt, so I stopped. Everything was ruined. I couldn't even sing anymore all because of a man I only met yesterday. I decided to get a drink to calm my nerves. I grabbed my wallet and opened the door just as Edward raised his hand to knock.

I pushed past him and continued down the hallway. "You have to explain this to me, Bella."

"There's nothing to explain. You were a fun distraction; I've got to get back to work now."

"Distraction?"

I hit the elevator button and turned to look at him. My heart tightened as I stared at his swollen face. "Look, you're a hot guy and I enjoyed your company. Maybe I'll see you again someday."

"Lie better," he said angrily.

"Be real, Edward. The next city will bring the next girl, I understand that."

He stared in shock and shook his head back and forth. "What did I do?" he asked softly.

"I have some things to work out for the tour, I'm busy," I said harshly.

He stepped into the elevator with me and moved to the back and stared at the ground. I could feel my hands shaking and crossed my arms to keep control. When we got to the lobby he spoke softly to me before exiting the lift. "May I ask for a favor?"

"Sure," I said, keeping my answer short so he couldn't hear my voice shaking.

"I'm having a really hard time accepting the fact you don't feel what I feel. I will walk out that door and never look back, after you kiss me."

The elevator door shut again and neither one of us could move. There was no way I could kiss him and let him walk away, he knew it and was calling my bluff. I felt the tears fall from my cheeks before I even realized I was crying. He moved slowly towards me and I put my hand up to keep him back, but he took hold of my wrist and pulled me into him.

My hands were resting on his chest and I had intended on pushing him away, but I could feel his heart pounding underneath my palm. I leaned in and kissed his heart and he inhaled deeply. His finger moved under my chin and lifted my face to look at his.

"May I kiss you?" he whispered.

I didn't answer; I only closed my eyes and held still. He moved slowly and placed his mouth on mine and held it there. My hands moved up his chest, around his neck, and into his hair, knocking his hat to the ground. He pulled me tightly against his body and bent his knees to fold his frame completely around mine.

His gentle kiss escalated and his lips moved against mine with determination. I added more force and bit his bottom lip before sucking on it and pulling back a bit. He hissed and I suddenly remember his injuries. I pulled back and began apologizing. "Did I hurt you?" I asked sadly.

He nodded at me and said, "You broke my heart."

My eyes teared up and I admitted something to him. "I am so scared, Edward."

He shook his head and looked into my eyes pleadingly, "Don't run from me."

"This is never going to work," I told him honestly.

"We'll never know unless we try."

"I can't watch you ride again."

"Okay, you don't need to watch. Just be there when I'm done."

"What if I'm falling in love with you," I whispered.

"What if I'm falling in love with you," he whispered back to me.

"Tell me what to do," I conceded.

"Let's grab your stuff and get out of here," he said as he pushed the button for my floor.

I decided to take a leap of faith and give it a try. I wasn't that vulnerable yet, I was still on tour and letting him take me to Denver was not like bringing him to my home.

We took a cab back to the arena and the entire place was going crazy with activity. Horses were being loaded and corrals were being broken down. Trailer after trailer filed out of the lot, heading in all different directions.

Esme came over to where I was sitting in Edward's truck, climbed onto the step, and took my hand. "I'm sorry dear; we aren't used to seeing the Rodeo through fresh eyes. It gets easier, I promise."

I smiled and nodded. I didn't want to tell her there was no way I would ever get used to seeing Edward in so much danger. She patted my cheek and said, "Carlisle and I won't be in Denver. I hope you'll come visit our home some day. We would love to have you."

"Do you think I'm bad for Edward?" I asked her, knowing she would most likely lie to me.

"Sweetheart, I think you are the best thing that ever happened to him."

Her answer was so unexpected I threw my arms around her and hugged tightly. "Thank you," I said with emotion. Edward walked up and kissed his mother goodbye, promising to be careful in Denver and got in the driver seat.

He looked at me and smiled, "Are you going to sit that far from me?"

I scooted up to his side and put my head on his shoulder. "Much better," he said and started the engine.

We drove off into the darkness and the rumbling of the truck lulled me to sleep. I dreamed of Edward riding a bull. His muscles flexed and his body moved as one with the animal. His hips moved back and forth as his legs griped the leather hide. His hand was high in the air and he turned to look at me as he thrust back and forth.

I reached for his nude body and the bull threw him into the air causing me to jump and gasp as I woke up with a start.

"Did you have a dream?" Edward asked.

I rubbed my eyes and stared at the dark highway. "Where are we?"

"Montana."

I nestled back into Edward's side and I ran my hand over his chest. I moved onto my knees and put my arms around his shoulders as I kissed his neck. He moaned and put his arm around me, exposing his chest so I unbuttoned his shirt and began kissing his skin.

I came back to his neck and whispered in his ear, "Pull over."

He wrapped his hand in my hair and pulled my head back so he could look at me. I was breathing heavily and spoke as I stared into his eyes, "I want you, right now, pull over."

He reached over and picked up his CB radio, "I need to pull off for a minute, just keep going."

He pulled his truck off the side of the highway and shut off the engine. I was wearing a short skirt and pulled off my underwear and climbed onto his lap. He ran his hands up my sides and then pulled my hips forward against his chest.

I saw him glance in the mirror before saying, "Just a second." He grabbed a shirt off his back seat and placed it against the window just as a vehicle went by slowly and shined a spotlight on his truck.

Alice's voice came over the radio and said, "Ride em cowboy."

He looked into my eyes and stared with pure lust as he pulled me against him. I removed his hat and he kissed my chest as I leaned into him.

He let his hand drop to the side of the seat and moved it as far back as it would go and then lowered the back of the seat. I reached down and unhooked his belt and jeans and pushed them down his legs. I leaned against the steering wheel and held on as I braced myself against him.

He yelled out as I made contact, making us one. His head rose and he stared at the point we were connected with fascination. I moved frantically, grunting from exertion and he threw his hands over his head holding onto the headrest as he yelled loudly, "God, Bella." His feet pushed off the ground and he raised his hips off the seat as I continued the wild pace.

My head fell back and I screamed his name as his hands ran up my shirt to my breast. My entire body convulsed onto him just as he arched completely off of the seat and yelled out loudly. I fell onto his chest, gasping for air as his chest heaved up and down rapidly. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my head again and again.

"Bella, I love you," he said in the total darkness.

I moved to his lips and kissed him very softly. "I love you, Edward," I said against his mouth.

The words fell naturally from my mouth. He was so easy to love and I felt like the tabloids and pretend images were far from where we existed together. I could be myself without worry of how it looked or what spin was needed.

We finally pulled into a camping area where all the trailers and horses were waiting. I was amazed at how many people it took to run the family business. Edward and I headed right to his trailer without talking to anyone.

We took a quick shower and when I was done drying my hair Edward was passed out cold in the bed. I climbed in behind him and snuggled up to his back. He moaned and I kissed his back and fell asleep. The next morning I heard a soft knock on the door. Edward threw the covers over my bare legs and panties and said, "Yeah, come in."

I remained still so I could listen to them talk.

"Get dressed and come to my trailer, we need to talk," Emmett said.

"Is something wrong?" Edward asked.

I didn't hear Emmett respond, but he must have nodded because Edward jumped up and grabbed his jeans before leaving the trailer. I sat up and stretched, wondering if they were beating each other up or working with the horses.

I glanced at my phone and the bedside table and saw the light blinking. I realized I never turned the sound back on and grabbed my phone. I had nine missed messages from Mike and knew he was going to be so pissed at me.

I hit call and leaned back against the headboard.

"What the hell, Bella," he screamed into the phone.

"I didn't realize my phone was on mute," I said in irritation to his drama.

"You're with Cullen?" he asked with a livid tone.

"What?" I had no idea how he could know that.

"It's all over the internet. I've had people calling all morning wanting a comment."

"It can't be Mike, nobody saw us."

"Damn it, Bella. How can you be so stupid? His scorned lover got plenty of pictures and some video, too."

"Who?" I asked with a dry mouth and shaking hands.

"I'll send you the link, how are we going to fix this?"

"I met him two days ago," I said softly.

"You damn well better not show up with him in Denver. Go to a hotel and I'll arrange a flight. We made a deal with Barton Kirk's people that you two would be seen together before Chicago starts to generate buzz. Don't blow this, Bella."

"Send me the link," I said angrily and hung up on him. My phone beeped just a few moments later and I opened the link. I stared at pictures of Edward holding my face and then kissing me before his bull ride. The next pictures were from a video of Edward leaning against some type of counter on his elbows and holding a beer. His head was back with his eyes closed and a woman was on her knees performing a very intimate act on him. The last pictures were of me crying in Esme's arms.

I looked back at the woman on her knees and knew instantly who she was, Tanya. I had been played by someone I felt was my friend. I wondered if any of the stories mentioned she was Edward's cousin. Maybe country people found nothing wrong with a family member relieving the stress, but it was more than I could handle.

I dressed in a pair of shorts and threw a hoodie on over my shirt so I could hide my face from any paparazzi. I put on some sandals and waited with my bag for Edward to return. I had to wipe my tears often and no matter how angry I got, they still fell.

Edward walked into the trailer and I refused to look at him. "You can ride with Alice," he said softly.

I grabbed my bag and walked out the door without saying a word to him. Alice and Jasper were in their truck with the engine running. I climbed into the back seat and said, "You can drop me at the next city, my manager's getting me a flight."

"I'm so sorry, Bella," Alice offered.

"I wish someone would have warned me that Edward messed around with his cousin."

"She's not really our cousin," Alice said but it didn't help in the least.

"Wonderful," I mumbled.

"She is some messed up girl my Aunt Kate brought into her home," Alice said to defend her brother.

"Well, Edward thinks she's special," I said hatefully as I relived the pictures in my head and remembered he gave her a buckle.

"I'm not going to make excuses for him, but I want to point out it was before he met you," Jasper added.

I stared at the open road and felt more tears fall. I couldn't be mad at him for his past, but I felt so betrayed, or maybe it was jealous. I had to look at him enjoying another woman and it made me so angry. I could only image what the magazines were going to say.

We pulled over to get gas and I went inside to buy a soda and some crackers, keeping my hoodie up the entire time. I got back in the truck just as Edward pulled up. He started the pump and then walked over to my door and opened it harshly.

"We need to talk," he yelled. "I'm not losing you over this."

I smiled gently and shook my head before speaking softly, "There's nothing to say."

"I love you and I think you love me," he said with a tight jaw.

"You're good at what you do, that's all," I said as I tried to convince myself.

"Why do you keep pushing me away?" he asked with a sad voice.

"Edward, you need to go back to Tanya and…"

"My first time was with a girl is high school named Lauren. Then a girl named Heidi and then an Italian girl who I can't remember how to pronounce her name. I lived with a girl named Jane for two years and then you. I was terribly drunk one night when that film was made, it happened the one time. You know my past, now, every single sordid detail."

I wanted to scream, "Hold on, back up to the girl Jane," but it didn't matter. We were done. I touched his cheek and said, "Jasper will drop me at the next town and I'm going home."

He let his head drop and finally slammed the truck door and walked away. Alice and Jasper climbed in and drove me to Cheyenne, where I said goodbye and left all thoughts of Edward behind me.


	3. Chapter 7 thru 9

7

I was met at the airport by my lead dancer and best friend Eric. He pulled up to the front of the airport with darkly tinted windows and I was able to run for it through the throng of paparazzi all yelling questions about Edward.

"I never pegged you for the bad boy type, bitch" Eric teased. "I mean, I love the bad boys, but you honey, are too virginal to pull it off."

"I don't want to talk about it," I said as I stared out the window.

"Just tell me this, does he last more than eight seconds?"

"Shove it," I said hatefully.

"Ummm girl, I would love to. He is grade A prime beef."

"I'm a vegetarian," I pointed out.

"Then we'll call him a cucumber."

"Please Eric, drop it," I begged him.

"I'm just teasing you; he admitted the pictures were doctored. The video was real, thank God," he laughed and I gave him a confused look.

"They weren't?" he asked in shock.

"Edward made a statement?"

"Yeah, denied the whole thing, said you were just friends with his sister."

"My father is going to freak. I'm glad I'm on tour for the rest of the summer." I let my head fall back and said, "Eric, I need a change."

"In the tour?" He asked worriedly, thinking his dancers would be changed or something.

"No, I'm talking about my look. I need something fresh and different."

Eric screamed and began bouncing on the seat, "I know the perfect person. You won't even recognize yourself when he's done." He pulled out his phone and called his friend.

We drove right to the salon and I gave Peter free reign to change me any way he saw fit. I was waxed, tanned, highlighted and permed. Eric was right, I didn't recognize myself. My usually pale skin was a nice bronze and my usually dark hair looked sun kissed and fell in large curls.

"You are a God," I said to Peter and he bowed royally.

I was in a much better mood by the time I arrived home and kept my head down as we drove through my gate, ignored by most of the paparazzi. As soon as I walked into the house the phone rang. I was terrified it would be my father, but it was Esme.

"Bella, I just wanted to make sure you arrived home safely. I'm so sorry for the problems Tanya caused you."

"I think Edward handled it," I told her.

"Yes, he is quite distraught over the entire matter."

"I can't hold his past against him. I just wish I knew before befriending Tanya. I'm not sure I could keep my cool if I ever ran into her."

"She wanted Edward so badly, for a long time. I never thought she would purposely hurt him. I'm sorry again."

"I hope Edward can focus now," I said as I tried not to cry.

"Honey, my children are very competitive. Losing is not the end of the world they believe it to be."

"May I ask you about Jane? I know it is none of my business, but Edward told me he lived with her for two years."

She chuckled and I wondered why. Maybe she thought it was funny I would ask her about her son's past lover.

"All of our children still live at home; of course it is an extremely large home. Jane lived here with us, but never traveled with Edward. They only saw each other for a few months during the two years."

"Oh, I see," I said stupidly.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay, dear," she said and I knew Edward was making her call.

"I hope Edward has a great time in Denver, but I doubt we will see each other again."

"May I ask why?" she pushed.

"I don't understand his world, and he wouldn't understand mine at all," I laughed at the thought of Eric and Edward in the same room.

"I'm sorry to hear it, Edward fell for you very hard and very fast."

"I fell for him, too," I admitted, "But, reality reared its ugly head."

"Well, good luck, Bella. I wish you well."

"Thank you, Esme, Goodbye."

Eric stared at me, waiting for some sort of reaction or a need to unload. Instead, I asked him to go over some of the dances from the tour. I wanted to forget about Edward, not talk about him. I changed into some tights and we headed downstairs to the dance room and worked for hours.

I was dripping in sweat and totally exhausted by the time Eric left. I realized I hadn't eaten and made myself some pasta. I was playing music loudly in the background when my phone rang. I knew it had to be my father this time, so I ignored it.

I heard a soft voice leaving a message, "Bella, its Edward. I want to talk to you, please pick up."

I reached for the phone, but only sat my hand over it, without picking up. He waited for a moment before saying, "I want to come by your concert, but I will be riding at that exact time. Maybe I could see you afterwards? Call me, I need to hear your voice," he said sadly and softly.

I finished eating and took a quick shower before crawling into bed and began missing Edward. I looked at the phone and finally picked it up and hit dial. Edward answered by the background was so noisy he couldn't hear me. "Hang on; let me get out of here."

I waited as the noise faded and the sounds of girls asking him where he was going ended.

"You still there?" he asked and his voice sounded slurred.

"Are you drunk?" I asked him and a part of me hoped he was, so I could speak honestly and he would forget whatever I said.

"I'm drinking you out of my mind, love."

"Is it working?" I asked.

"No, you called and my mind is full of you again."

"I shouldn't have called," I said softly.

"I'm so glad you did, my hands are aching for you. Come get in my bed," he said with hope.

"I'm in L.A. I can't come to your bed anymore, Edward."

"I'll ride better, I promise."

"Oh Edward, it has nothing to do with how you ride. You're the best," I reminded him.

"Nothing matter's anymore, you mattered, but you left."

"I had to go back to work. I need to do my thing and you need to do yours. You have a title to keep."

"I bought your CD," he admitted.

I forgot my promise to give him one and was surprised he actually went to the trouble of purchasing it. "Did you like it?" I asked.

"No," he said and my jaw tightened. "It hurt to listen to you sing. You sing like an angel."

"Thank you, I wished you liked it."

"Sing me the one about the moon, the one about the couple looking at the same moon."

I sang softly into the phone and heard him sigh loudly. When I finished it was quiet for a moment and he asked, "Who did you write the song for?"

"My parents, my father was in the military and my mother waited for him to come home from overseas."

"That's nice," he said barely above a whisper.

"How's the eye?" I finally asked.

"A pretty shade of purple," he laughed.

"I bet Emmett is glad I'm gone," I said as I shook my head.

"No, he said he thought you were it. I really hoped you were it," he said with such a sad voice.

"I can't be it, I don't eat meat, I don't wear hats, and I cry when you ride bulls."

"It's only eight seconds," he said like we would be able to work everything else out.

"And in only eight seconds my entire world could come crashing down."

"I'm good at what I do," he said adamantly.

"You sure are," I whispered.

He chuckled and said, "I'm not sure I can stand up, I think I will sleep right here."

"Where are you?"

"I'm sitting next to my horse. I love my horse," he said with a faraway sound.

I laughed loudly. I could picture it in my mind. "Are you wearing chaps?" I asked.

"Only chaps," he lied.

"Your poor horse is going to be so jealous," I teased and he laughed loudly this time.

"I guess I can get rid of the buckle now," he added.

"Edward, tell me why you gave Tanya one of your buckles?"

"Because I am such a stupid fuck. Tanya said she wanted to feel like a real part of the family, so I gave it to her to make her realize I thought of her as family. It didn't work."

"Why….you know, the video?"

"Because I'm a man, and I think with my dick sometimes," he answered honestly and I was so glad he didn't try to play it off or make excuses.

"Is it weird for you two now?"

"She had a really messed up life, I can't blame her for being messed up. She knows better than to try and talk to me right now."

"Because you're drunk and you may ask her to get on her knees," I teased.

"I'm afraid my body only wants you. Nobody else will ever do."

"I think we just jumped the shark and only the liquor is talking now. What happened to the 'I'm a man' statement?"

"I wish you were here," he whispered.

"You wouldn't recognize me, my friend Eric got me a make over."

"Eric, is he your boyfriend?"

"No, but we do have similar taste in men," I announced to his homophobic mind.

"He's queer?" he asked in shock.

"He's gay," I corrected him.

"That's disgusting," he said softly and it angered me beyond belief.

"It is another reason why we would never work out, I have a lot of gay friends and they are very important to me. And for your information, I'm sure there are many gay men who fantasize over you."

"It makes my ass hurt just to think about it," he said hatefully.

"You should be flattered that great guys like Eric find you attractive. And for all you know, your horse might be gay," I yelled and instantly felt stupid for bringing his horse into the argument.

"Hey, Man-o-war, are you gay?" He yelled and then gave a short whistle causing his horse to whinny loudly. "Nope, he says he's not gay."

"You prick," I mumbled as I smiled at his humor.

"I wish you were here," he said again.

"Be very careful this weekend, and show that kid from the reservation who the real man is, okay?"

He chuckled and mumbled something I couldn't decipher before the sound of people talking around him could be heard. "I'm gonna ride my horse," he announced to someone talking to him.

"Edward," I yelled loudly, "you're in no condition to ride."

"I ride better than I walk, love."

'Fine, go ride your horse," I laughed. "Take care of yourself, Edward."

"That sounds awfully final to me."

It was exactly how I wanted it to sound. I didn't want him to have any hope of me walking away from my friends to enter his world of tough guys who were terrified to admit gay men existed. I had worked so hard to break free from my parents and he still lived with his. Celebrity was the only thing we had in common and it was so fake and so temporary.

"Goodbye," I said and hung up the phone.

I focused on the tour and walked proudly through the airport on Friday morning for my flight to Denver. I was photographed with my new look and when I was asked about Edward, I rolled my eyes to blow off the questions. I finally said, "I want to wish Alice luck this weekend," and headed through security.

I went through the exact same experience when I landed in Denver and this time totally ignored the questions all the way to the car Mike had waiting. We drove straight to the hotel and when I got to my room a newspaper was waiting with a picture of Edward on the front page.

It was easy to ignore him by staying very busy, but looking at his face caused a very definite reaction. I touched the ink picture of his strong jaw and wild hair sticking out from his hat. I wanted to see him, not to talk to him, but just to look at his face and know he was okay.

I called Eric's room and asked him to come to mine. He walked in wearing skinny jeans and a tight pink t-shirt. "What's up, chica?"

"I want to go to a dance tonight, but you can't dress like that or you'll be killed."

"And you think I'm going to agree to this?" he said as he crossed his arms and leaned on one hip.

"You'll be in a room full of cowboys in tight jeans," I bargained.

"Who want to kill me, not do me," he pointed out.

"Come on, you know there is a gay one in the bunch somewhere."

"Yes, and he's terrified to come out of the closet, not the relationship I'm looking for."

"You're right, forget it," I said using the saddest voice I could muster.

"Can I wear a shiny shirt?" he asked.

"We need to blend, not gain attention. Let's hit a thrift store and find some plaid and some boots."

"I don't wear plaid unless it's on a kilt."

"Okay, pretend you're making a movie and you were cast as John Wayne's love child. Pull it off and I'll pay you double for this concert."

"You are on, bitch."

I was shaking like a leaf when Eric and I entered the large stadium and heard the loud band playing. He was bopping to the music and I elbowed him to stop. I made my way to the far end of the room away from Edward's table. I saw him sitting with his body away from the crowd and his arms resting on his knees and holding a bottle of beer in his hands.

He didn't move and he didn't look around. His family was more subdued but they were talking with one another, leaving Edward alone. I instantly wondered if he had lost an event and searched out a rodeo queen to ask.

"Hi, I missed the bare bronc event. Do you know who won?" I asked the girl with huge hair.

"Edward Cullen, of course," she smiled.

I looked back over at him and he was in the exact same position. Eric headed off to get us a drink and I was fighting the urge to walk up to Edward. Eric returned and I drank my drink quickly. We were there for half an hour when the band began playing the rodeo song. Edward stood slowly and walked around the table to meet up with Alice.

They walked slowly to the middle of the floor and his movements were stilted and awkward. Alice tried to smile at the crowd, but it just made Edward's mood more noticeable. I couldn't watch any further and felt my tears begin to fall.

A loud commotion occurred in the corner of the room and I glanced over to see some cowboys pushing Eric. I ran to him in a panic and stood in front of him. "Stop it," I yelled at the drunken men, "he's with me."

"Tell the faggot to keep his hands to himself," a young man yelled at me. I instantly understood what had happened and felt sad for the young man trying so hard to be something he wasn't.

"Stop calling my fiancé a faggot," I yelled and took Eric's hand and pulled him towards the door with me. I could feel his hand shaking in fear and I felt awful for bringing him here. The other men began teasing the younger boy and we were free to leave.

I glanced towards the dance floor and saw Edward staring at me. I wasn't sure if he recognized me or not. I was just about to climb into a cab behind Eric when someone called my name. I turned to see Edward standing on the sidewalk.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come. I'm taking my friend home," I said and began climbing in the car.

"Bella, don't go," he called out.

"I'm fine, Bella, go talk to the guy," Eric encouraged.

"I'm afraid," I told him.

"We all move on come Sunday, don't miss the chance to say what you need to say," Eric said as he nudged me out of the car. I moved only because I knew this was the last time I would ever see Edward.

I stood on the sidewalk in my used clothes, blond streaks, and tanned skin, but my heart hadn't changed at all. I loved this man totally. He walked towards me and I saw his eye was still black and his buckle was still too large, but I smiled anyway.

He stopped walking and put his hand over his heart and smiled back at me.

"Congratulations on your win today," I offered.

"You watched?" he asked in surprise.

"No, all the queens talked about it nonstop," I laughed and his smile widened.

"You look very pretty," he said as he glanced down my body and back up.

"I was aiming for very different," I admitted.

He took another step towards me and asked, "Why?"

I took a step towards him and my heart began beating wildly in realization one more step from both of us would have me in his arms. "It hurt to look like the person you loved."

"There is nothing different enough to make me stop loving you."

I took a deep breath and tried to block all the sirens going off in my brain, warning me to stay away from him. "Our worlds are still so different," I finally admitted and watched his eyes for a reaction.

"We both look at the same moon, they can't be that different."

That did it, using my song as a reference for our love pushed me past all the cautions signs and I dove into his arms. He wrapped them tightly around me and lifted me off the ground and began walking as he kissed me softly.

8

I could hear the sounds of cameras going off as we rounded a corner, but I didn't care. I loved a guy I had no future with and I would admit to a weekend with him. It would be over by the time I had to enter into a fake relationship with my co-star and I could pretend it was a rebound relationship.

Edward sat me on my feet and took hold of my hand as he pulled me quickly through the crowd of photographers and into the guarded gate area of the fairgrounds.

The second we entered his trailer I threw his hat off and began removing his buckle, as he pushed me against the counter and kissed me in a heated rush. "I can't believe you're here," he said into my ear and then moved to my neck.

"My manager is going to kill me," I said with labored breath.

"He'll have to go through me," he said and moved his hands up my shirt.

"I can calm him down, its only one weekend after all."

Edward froze and let his hands fall before putting them on my hips and pushing away from me. I hated how he seemed to always get me hot and bothered and then pull away. My body was screaming for him and telling my mouth to go to hell.

"You're only here because you're in town?" he asked with a hurt expression.

"Do you really expect me to travel with you? I'm on tour this summer."

"There are days between concerts and events," he pointed out.

"Jane never travelled with you," I said and my body screamed at my mouth again.

"I didn't love, Jane," he responded angrily.

"It took you two years to figure that out?" I challenged and watched his jaw tighten and his hands twitch.

"You've never done anything stupid?"

I chuckled and shook my head, "Yeah, I met a guy at a Rodeo."

"I'm not blocking the door," he said and sat down on the couch.

I stayed where I was and took a few moments to calm down. I finally walked over to sit next to him. "Edward, I brought my best friend here and almost got him killed. I find nothing wrong with two men kissing and loving each other. And you almost vomited in your mouth at what I just said."

"It has nothing to do with us, why is it a problem?"

"Can Eric come visit me, stay in your trailer and sit at your table?"

His jaw tightened again and I sighed loudly. "I don't eat meat either, and I find Rodeo's abusive to the animals."

I finally found his last nerve and he jumped up and looked at me with wide eyes. "You've watched me ride and you think the animal is the one being abused?"

"Yes, I do."

"I take my horse out and let him run. He's invigorated and snorting and his legs shake with the release of the energy that's been building up inside of him. My legs ache from the muscle strength I have to use and my balls are sore as hell, and you think I am abusing my horse?"

"I don't know, Edward," I yelled at him. "I don't understand any of this, just like you don't understand my lifestyle. I love seeing my friends in happy relationships. It makes me feel warm inside to see Eric being held by someone who loves him."

"My view of a man is someone who takes care of his woman, who loves her tenderly, and protects her at all cost. I just can't see a man doing that for another man, it isn't natural."

"And sitting on top of a two thousand pound bull, holding on with one hand is?"

He ran his hands through his hair and rubbed his eyes as he mumbled, "Shit."

"I want to stay the night with you, Edward, this one night, because I have to walk away tomorrow and get back to my life."

"You don't get it, Bella," he said as his shoulders dropped in defeat. "I'm not just looking for pussy. I want the woman I love in my bed, knowing she will be back when I need her. Maybe you can use me for my dick, but I can't treat you that way."

"There was a time you weren't so…discriminating. I have a video to prove it," I said angrily and stood to leave.

"Are you offering to get on your knees, Bella?" he screamed. "Because if you are, please come back tomorrow when I really need to relax."

"I'm not offering you shit," I screamed back, "Because you're not man enough to deal with an independent woman who makes her own way."

He laughed and looked right into my eyes, "Did you tell daddy you like to fuck, yet?"

I wanted to hit him so badly. He made me angry and humiliated all at the same time. We hurt from wanting each other so badly and now we were purposely trying to hurt each other, because we both knew a relationship between a cowboy and a pop star would never work.

I needed to put a stop to the cycle and move on. I took a deep breath and turned to walk from his trailer without offering a final blow to the relationship. He let me leave and remained in his trailer. I doubted he would be so morose at the dance the next night.

I got to my room and took a hot bath and drank a glass of wine to calm down enough to sleep. The next morning Eric was shocked to see me enter the hotel restaurant. He held up a newspaper with a picture of Edward and me kissing and the headline read, "Bella and the Bull Rider."

I remembered Jasper saying bulls and Bella didn't mix and he was right. "It was over, before it began," I said.

"You didn't stay?" Eric asked.

"No, I didn't. He wants a little woman who carries a flag and darns his socks."

"Hum, which flag?" Eric teased and I smacked his arm.

Mike came walking towards me with a plate full of buffet food and a scowl that could stop traffic. "You just can't stay away from that redneck can you?"

"Oh shut up, you've humped every queen you could get your hands on."

"How are you going to deal with this?" Mike demanded to know.

"Truthfully, he's a great guy, but too John-Wayne-bleeds-red-white-and-blue, for me."

"And you couldn't have figured that out yesterday?" Mike asked.

"I'm a slow learner, just ask my parents," I said hatefully.

We all ate and headed to the stadium to run a sound check and make sure the equipment was being assembled correctly. Reporters all wanted to know the same thing, what was going on with me and Edward?

I gave to same response to all of them. "We were friends saying hello, and I left soon after."

By the time the show started I was focused and ready to perform on auto pilot. The stadium was packed with 'my' people and I could feel the love. I came onto the stage with a group of dancers all dressed the same with knitted caps over our hair. We moved in unison until fire shot out of canisters on the stage and we pulled off the clothes to reveal flashy costumes.

I wore red sequined pants which hung very low on my hips and a short white tank top over a red bra. The crowd went wild and I sang as I moved and danced with Eric. The routine was very suggestive and his hands ran over my body seductively…only I knew he was actually thinking about an artist who painted erotica instead of me.

I was on a roll and the energy was amazing. I made four costume changes and finally reached the point of the show where a holographic moon rose over the stage and I sang my parents song. I was the only person on stage as the dancers changed for the finale. I sat on a stool and the lights lowered and I could see just the first few rows of the audience.

I sang with new emotion, aching for Edward as the song took on a new meaning. In the second verse I saw the silhouette of a man in a cowboy hat leaning against a speaker tower. I moved from the stool and headed to the far side of the stage to get a better look.

When I saw Edward's eyes staring right at me my voice broke and I had to look away. I missed a couple of beats and picked up with a shaky voice as I felt tears fill my eyes. I forced myself to keep going and noticed how my keyboard player gave me an odd look.

When the song ended and the crowd cheered I looked back at the spot he stood, but it was empty. I wondered if I hadn't imagined the entire thing. He had to ride tonight and there was no way he would have rushed over to see the show.

I went backstage to talk with the dancers and the band and thank them for a great concert. I was stunned how well it went in spite of having Edward in the same city. I felt stronger since I was able to carry on.

Eric was talking loudly to all the dancers when I walked up. It suddenly became very quiet and they all stared at me. "What?" I asked.

"Was that him?" A dancer asked.

"Who?"

"The cowboy, was it your cowboy?"

I knew then it hadn't been my imagination. Edward came and that meant a lot, but the fact he left told me he was ready to move on. I couldn't wait to get back to the hotel and look up the standings online to see if he won.

All the equipment was being torn down and moved on to St. Louis. "Okay guys, I'll see you on Tuesday. Travel safely and be ready to go."

"B, you were on fire tonight," Eric said with a big smile.

"It's not my first rodeo," I said and he gave me an odd look.

I left and headed to the hotel which was surrounded by paparazzi. I waved and smiled as we passed them, but I was taken to another entrance and didn't have to face them.

I turned on my laptop and began peeling off my clothes. I Googled Edward's name and saw the standings for the Denver event and clicked on it. I was stunned to see it wasn't over. The top ten would have to ride again tomorrow and as of now, Jacob was ahead of Edward.

My heart dropped. Edward was planning to wrap and came to see me one last time, making the most of his life the night before. I threw on some jeans and a tight shirt which dipped low in the back and called for a car.

I headed for the dance and found it still in full swing, but the Cullens were already gone. I headed to his trailer and was stopped by security. "I need to see Alice Cullen; you can call her and tell her Bella is here."

They put me in a small cart and drove me to Alice's trailer. I knocked and felt ridiculous with the two men standing right next to me, in case I was a crazed fan. Jasper answered and said with a smile, "Hi, Bella."

The two men turned and walked away without speaking.

"Jasper, I'm worried about Edward," I blurted out.

Jasper stood back and opened the door wider to show Edward sitting on a stool at the counter. My eyes dropped and I was unable to look at him. He slowly walked to the doorway and leaned against it.

"Why did you come?" I asked him, confusing the room as to what I was talking about. I was the one coming to the fairgrounds asking Edward why he came.

"I wanted to see what you do. You're amazing and I understand now, you need to do your thing because you come alive on that stage. I can't extinguish that."

"Edward, I understand enough to know what you're planning, and I'm begging you not to do it."

"I'm not planning anything," he said dryly.

"It's not my first Rodeo," I repeated to him and he smiled widely.

"Bella, come in," Emmett yelled.

I was stunned it was Emmett asking me to come inside. I thought he would ask me to take my nosey ass somewhere else. Edward stood back and I entered the room. I felt Edward's hand reach out and lightly touch my back. I looked over my shoulder to see him staring at my flesh like he had never seen it before.

"Sorry," he said lightly. "I've been drinking."

"You're not going to go ride your gay horse are you?" I laughed.

"He's not gay," he said firmly and I only laughed harder.

"We were having a discussion about tomorrow. Edward can pick his ride and we were strategizing," Emmett said to fill me in.

"Why can he pick it?"

"It's just the way it works. We are disagreeing on which one to pick. Edward wants the most aggressive bull, we think he should choose a guaranteed ride and let Black pick the hardest one."

"I'm not wimping out," Edward yelled.

"Think of it as an onside kick," I said to Edward and all the men began laughing.

"Why did you ask my opinion, if you're just going to laugh at me?" I said in anger.

All the guys looked at each other and Emmett finally pointed out, "Nobody asked for your opinion."

I felt my face turn red and I straightened my shoulders. "Why even discuss it, Edward will pick the hardest one and he'll use a suicide wrap and Emmett will kick the shit out of him. Isn't that how you all roll?"

I spun around to look at Jasper, "You see him do it in the chute, why don't you stop him?"

"I'm only there for the bull, not the rider," he pointed out and I gasped in shock.

"He's family," I said incredulously.

"Right, and that is why I warn Emmett." He raised his hands, crossing them and knocking his wrists together.

I turned to look at Edward and realized I made a mistake by coming. I wouldn't be able to get through to him. Winning was part of his soul and he would do anything to win, even die for it.

"I dare you to ride on skill and not just to win," I said softly.

His eyes flashed with anger and he spoke through clenched teeth, "I always ride on skill."

"Prove it; beat Jacob Black the right way, and then you'll truly know who the better cowboy is."

The room was silent and Edward finally stormed from the trailer. I looked at the staring faces of his family who I wasn't sure liked me or not. I finally turned and ran from the room, too. I headed back to the hotel and tossed and turned through the night.

The finals were going to start at three in the afternoon and I made sure to purchase a ticket. I sat up high in the stadium, not wanting to see any of the Cullens, but wanting to see if Edward won or not.

Edward would be the last to ride and I was tied in knots just waiting. The first eight cowboys were only warm up acts for the showdown between the champion and the young pup barking at his heels; at least that was how the announcer put it.

Jacob's ride was flawless and he scored a 93. I watched Edward's every move. He wasn't wearing a helmet and his face was serious and his jaw was tight. When his weight sat down on the bull and he nodded his head I looked at Jasper's hands closely.

The gate opened and the bull jumped out. He kicked a bit, but nothing like the bull Jacob had chosen. Edward looked like a race car driver in a station wagon. It looked effortless, too effortless. I knew he wouldn't score higher than Black and I walked out before hearing the score.

I began stalking Edward after that night. I read everything about him on the internet and checked for updates daily. Jacob had passed him in the standings, but I also read how Edward could have a sure win in the finals.

There was a bull that had never been ridden, named Diablo. He was huge, mean, and very unpredictable. Edward could be dead last and if he could ride Diablo at the finals, he would win. I began praying he would pass Jacob and force him to choose the un-ridden bull.

I was in Pittsburg when I heard the horrible news. The concert was one of our bests and we were celebrating in the hotel room with champagne. Edward was in Omaha, now neck in neck with Jacob, when tragedy struck.

The television was on, but our loud laughter was drowning out the volume, when I suddenly saw Emmett's face on the news. I yelled for everyone to be quiet and I ran to stand in front of the set.

"Mr. Cullen has been a profession bullfighter for many years, and considered to be one of the best in the business." A reporter was saying.

My legs gave out and I fell onto my knees as I grabbed the screen.

"The family has yet to release a statement. Mr. and Mrs. Carlisle Cullen flew in just moments ago and his siblings, All Around Cowboy for two straight years, Edward Cullen, and reigning barrel racing champion, Alice Cullen, are said to be at his bedside. Emmett is married to Rosalie Hale and they are expecting a child in January."

They moved on to another story and I grabbed my computer and screamed for everyone to get out of my room. I was searching for news on what happened to Emmett and the internet was full of videos of what happened.

Edward had a successful ride, but as he jumped off the bull, it kicked, and threw him into the railing. Edward's body fell lifeless to the ground after smashing into the metal. Emmett ran at the charging bull as it zeroed in on Edward.

The bull turned its focus on Emmett and rammed him into the railing just right of Edward's body. Emmett spun and was hit again by the big bull, throwing him into the open. The bull lowered his head and gored Emmett's body with a horn as he raised him off the ground and tossed him like a toy.

The beast seemed to be enjoying his ability to shred the man's body, as he mangled him more, and more. I didn't see how anyone could survive such an attack and I had to grab the garbage can as I vomited from the sickening sight.

I found one report which showed the family entering the hospital. Edward had his arms around tiny Alice as she sobbed into his side. I figured Rosalie must have gone in the ambulance with Emmett and my heart ached for her. Edward's eyes said it all. He looked terrified, something I had never seen in the strong man before.

I grabbed my phone and dialed his number, but his phone was shut off. I called Mike and told him I needed to cancel the next concert in Boston and he threatened to have me beaten with a whip. I had a two week break after Boston and I would have to suck it up until then.

I read any shred of news I could find and kept trying to call Edward. Emmett was holding on, much to everyone's surprise, but pictures of Edward kept getting worse, and worse. Carlisle and Esme finally began appearing on morning shows to discuss their son's accident.

One interviewer asked if Edward was feeling guilty and Esme responded, "Absolutely, he loves his brother very much and knows Emmett is there to protect him. He doesn't like the fact he is safe and his brother is fighting for his life."

"Does Edward plan to continue this season?" She was asked.

"He's not making any plans right now, we are praying for Emmett."

I sent flowers to the hospital and hoped Edward would call me, but I knew better. His whole focus would be on Emmett, as it should be.

By the time the Boston concert was over Emmett had been moved home under the care of private doctors. Mike told me that meant he had brain damage, but I knew the resources the Cullens had and hoped it was just a way to help Emmett heal faster.

9

I arrived home for the two week break and decided to call Esme, to see if I could visit Edward. Nobody answered the phone and a message directed the callers to a family spokesman. I decided to drive to Northern California and see if I could get security to notify Edward I was there.

I drove to the small community of Blue Lake and stopped at a diner to get directions to the Cullen's ranch. The local people were very protective of the family's privacy and I had to use my own celebrity for information. I posed for pictures and signed autographs and was given a handmade map to the Ranch.

I was terrified when I reached to front gates. They were massive, made of wrought iron with a western design. Reporters were all over the place and began taking my picture as I pulled up to the guard at the gate. Luckily, the man was young and recognized me.

"Can you please let Esme know I am here?" I asked him.

He used a radio and spoke for a moment before opening the gate for me. I drove down the long dive toward the massive house buried in the deep pines. I felt my tears sting my eyes when I saw Esme on the porch waiting for me.

She gave me a tight hug and led me into the house. "How's Emmett?" I asked her.

"He's getting stronger every day. Edward is the one I'm worried about now," she confessed.

"Do you think he will see me?"

"I think you are just what he needs," she smiled and led me down a maze of hallways and stood me in front of a large oak door. She knocked and then opened the door for me, before walking away.

I pushed to door wider and peaked in to see Edward sprawled out on the bed, lying on his stomach in only his boxers. I entered the dark room and shut the door behind me, having to wait for my eyes to adjust before walking any further. He didn't move and I wondered if he was asleep.

I headed to his bed and got on my knees to look into his eyes. I was shocked to see him looking back at me. "Hi," I whispered and he smiled gently.

"You look like you could use a friend," I said sadly.

"I have tons of friends," he whispered back.

"Then how about a stupid girl who loves you very much," I said through my tears.

He reached out for my hand that was touching the bed and pulled me to lie down. I wrapped my arm around him and stayed tightly against his warm flesh. I smiled at how wonderful it felt. We didn't speak and after the long drive I was exhausted and quickly fell asleep. We stayed that way through the entire night.

By morning I was stiff and uncomfortable in my jeans, so I wiggled out of them and then turned to see Edward smiling at me. "You have plans?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

"Only to get comfortable," I said with a red face.

He ran his finger down my bare leg and could feel the goose bumps it produced. "Maybe I have plans," he said with a thick voice.

"Well, it is your bed after all," I giggled.

He stared into my eyes sending a chill down my spine, but he never moved to start anything. I refrained too, knowing he needed me here, not necessarily for sex, but for comfort. I ran my fingers through his hair and he closed his eyes.

"When was the last time you ate?" I asked him.

"What day is it?" he asked.

"Come on, champ," I said as I climbed out of the bed.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm going to clean up your room while you shower. Where's your bathroom?"

He nodded toward a closed door and I opened it to see the most amazing bathroom I had ever seen. I laughed and looked at the walkthrough shower with various knobs and settings before looking back at Edward.

"You're going to have to manage your own shower; I don't have an engineering degree."

"Join me and I will," he bargained.

"Who will make the bed?" I asked as I teased him.

"We have people for that," he said as he climbed out of bed and headed for me.

"My bags are still in my car, you shower and I'll clean," I offered again and this time he agreed.

I made the bed and opened the curtains to reveal the most beautiful site I had ever seen. The ranch had been cleared for miles from the large trees, and rolling hills of grass were dotted with grazing animals. A huge barn, with an indoor arena and several corrals, was off to one side and an outdoor arena with lights was on the other side.

I opened the door to his veranda in order to let fresh air into the room and saw Jasper pull up to the barn in a ranch truck. He unloaded a horse and led it inside.

"You like it?" Edward asked coming up behind me with only a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Are we talking about the view?" I asked and he laughed and nodded.

"It's gorgeous," I sighed, "and huge."

"Are we still talking about the view?" he joked.

"Get your ass dressed, before I do something I'll regret," I told him and pushed him back into the room. He dropped the towel and walked to his dresser as I stared with weak knees. He dressed quickly and as he pulled on his boots he looked at my sandals.

"That's not going to work here," he said sternly.

"I brought my boots, oh wait, the ropers," I clarified.

"Ropers are boots," he laughed.

I finally brought up the subject of why I came in the first place, "How's Emmett?"

His demeanor changed instantly and he held out his hand. "He would love to see you, I'm sure."

He took me to the other side of the massive house and walked through an open door. Emmett was lying in a hospital bed with IV's and machines all over the place. One eye was so swollen it couldn't open and the entire side of his face was a distortion of various colors.

A plaster body cast ran up one leg, around his waist, over his shoulder, and down his arm. I had to fight my tears and they eventually won. Edward walked up to the bed and kissed his brother gently on the forehead.

"Hey, Em," he said softly. "Someone came to see you."

He raised his free hand and I saw the scrapes and scabs on it before reaching out slowly and taking his hand in mine. "Hi, big guy," I said with a shaky voice.

He grunted and Edward looked at me to explain, "His jaw is wired shut."

I nodded and leaned over to kiss his hand and hold it to my cheek. Rosalie walked in and at first stopped in shock, but then smiled and came up to Emmett's other side.

"Congratulations," I said, "on your pregnancy."

"I just hope daddy here doesn't end up a vegetable and make me raise two babies," she teased and Emmett grunted loudly in protest.

I patted his hand and looked down at him. "Naw, he's got too much spirit, that's why he has such a large body, to hold all that fight he's got inside him," I said and felt him squeeze my hand.

Edward stared at me with an open mouth and I wondered if he thought I was flirting with his brother or something. A nurse came in and we were all ushered out so she could give Emmett a bath. We headed to the kitchen to find breakfast waiting in some warming dishes. I passed on the eggs and bacon but filled my plate with fruit crepes.

When we sat at a small breakfast table Edward leaned in close to speak to me. "Bella, what you said about Emmett….it was perfect. I forgot how strong my brother is and I just want to say thank you for reminding me."

"Can I ask how strong you are?" I said hesitantly.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you going back out there, to keep your title?"

He looked away and covered his mouth with his hand as he thought about what to say in response. "I never realized how much strength it gave me to have Emmett there. I knew I would never get hurt, because he wouldn't allow it. I did this to him, Bella."

"No, a bull did this to him," I corrected.

"And it should have been me."

"Did Emmett allow other cowboys to get hurt?" I asked giving Edward something to think about.

Alice came running into the room and screamed in delight to see me sitting there. "Oh, thank God one of you has some common sense."

"I have a two week break before my next concert," I explained and Edward's eyes widened.

"You can stay for two weeks?" he asked.

"Um, I didn't plan on staying here. I mean you guys need some time…."

"Don't be stupid," Alice said, "you are staying here, if we have to hog tie you to keep you here."

"Well, you're just the family to do it," I laughed.

"We'll barbeque tonight, and we can roll Emmett's bed onto the deck. He'll love it."

"Cooking steaks he can't eat will not be enjoyable," Edward pointed out to Alice.

"I'm not eating a steak," I said adamantly.

Alice looked at me with confusion and said, "They don't have that many calories."

Edward began to laugh and I looked at my body to see where the rolls were located as I felt my self esteem scurry away.

"She's a vegetarian," Edward explained.

"You don't eat meat?" Alice asked in shock. "Why?"

"I don't think eating another creature is acceptable," I said, hoping to educate her a bit.

"A cow or a chicken is not a creature. They are overpopulated ugly dumb animals."

"Some countries eat horse meat, what if someone wanted to eat Georgia?"

She smiled and looked at Edward. "That would be some expensive steak," she said and they both laughed loudly.

"We can grill you a portabella mushroom," Edward offered, "Is that okay?"

"You would do that?" I asked in shock.

"Sure, I can't guarantee you won't be teased, but since Emmett can't really speak it won't be too bad."

I felt like Edward was really trying to help me fit into his world. I seriously doubted he would be this open over the issue of Eric, but I was happy he widened his horizon concerning my food preferences. After we ate breakfast he asked me if I wanted to see the ranch. I happily agreed and he asked me to change into boots and clothes I could get dirty.

My bag was brought to his room and after changing into my oldest pair of jeans and putting on the boots I headed out to find him. I had to wear the boots over my jeans since the fabric was too tight on my legs to go over the boots.

Edward came out of the barn leading his horse and I instantly tensed. I thought he wanted me to walk around the ranch, not ride. I backed up to the deck but he came right at me with a huge smile. "Don't be afraid," he said.

"I'm nowhere near afraid, I'm close to all out panic," I told him honestly.

"Think of him as a very well trained puppy," Edward said and I shook my head back and forth.

He climbed up into the saddle and scooted back to reveal a large area for me to sit. "I'll hold you in my arms the entire time."

"I don't know how to get up there," I confessed.

"Put you're left foot in the stirrup and place your knee on the saddle. When I pull you from there, let your right leg swing over his head, he'll keep it lowered for you."

"What if he doesn't like me?" I asked, knowing it sounded ridiculous but too afraid to care.

"Then he'll be put on the grill tonight," Edward laughed.

I approached the horse with shaky legs and placed my foot in the stirrup and both hands on Edward's extended arm. He pulled me up and my knee rested on the saddle. It seemed much higher than I expected and I dug my nails into Edward's flesh.

He made a noise with his tongue and the horse lowered his head as Edward pulled me into the saddle. "Hold me tighter," I begged and his arm tightened around my stomach.

"We'll just walk at first," he said and gave the horse a slight kick.

I instantly shut my eyes and clung to Edward's arm as I began repeating, "Oh my God," over and over again. Edward put his mouth to my ear and kissed me several times causing me to relax a bit.

"Bella, hold onto the saddle horn and let your body rock back and forth with the rhythm of the horse."

I felt much more secure holding onto the stationary saddle horn, but Edward kept his arm around me tightly. He led the horse down a trail and I was feeling better until the horse shook his head to rid a flying nuisance. I screamed and my entire body went rigid.

"Hey," Edward said softly into my ear, "trust me, love. I would never allow anything to hurt you, relax."

We kept our slow lumbering pace as we climbed higher into the hills surrounding the ranch. We made out way to an overlook and I gasped at the beauty before me. It was nature at its best, as far as the eye could see, and I was speechless.

"The land looks exactly the same as when my great grandfather lived here," Edward said with pride. "He came here looking for gold and found it in the beauty of the land."

"Are all the cattle yours?" I asked looking at pasture after pasture filled with animals.

"See the lake over there?" he asked as he pointed in the distance. "Our land stops at the lake."

"Wow, that's a lot of land."

"I come here when I feel full of myself and it humbles me. I didn't achieve any of this; I just need to maintain it for posterity. Some day my sons will care for this land."

I realized for the first time the depth of Edward's connection to his lifestyle. It was a part of him as much as his own name. He belonged to this land and was more than just a steward of it, he breathed for it, lived for it, and would most likely die for it.

"You're very lucky to know exactly who you are," I whispered.

"I know I seem closed minded and old fashioned, but I'm as unchanging as the land sometimes," he said with a sad voice.

I leaned back against his chest and both of his arms wrapped around me causing me to grab the saddle horn again, "Hold onto the reins not me," I instructed him.

"I'm not controlling him," he laughed. "I'm only leading him."

"So, if he wanted to take off running, he could just do it?" I asked with a strained voice and whispered in case he could actually understand me.

"Bella, I can read his every move. He's being very patient right now and knows I want him to move slowly. He won't just bolt."

"What if he knows I called him G-A-Y?" I spelled out, causing Edward to laugh loudly.

"Then you better apologize and quickly."

"I'm sorry Manny," I said as I touched his neck.

"Manny?" Edward asked in shock. "I'm going to have to ask you to get your ass off my horse."

"It's not on your horse, it's on the saddle and partly on you," I pointed out.

He moved my hair out of the way and began kissing my neck, "You can put your ass on me anytime," he murmured against my skin, causing me to melt in his arms.

I placed my arms over my head and around his, letting my hands rest on his neck. He ran his hands down my sides and across my thighs, coming back along the place where my body connected with the saddle. I inhaled sharply and his hands tightened.

"Edward," I panted, pulling on his neck.

"Can I take you somewhere?" he asked, "Somewhere to love you."

"As long as it's close," I said, praying we weren't going to take the long slow ride home.

He took the reins with one hand and placed his other hand on the saddle horn, locking me tightly in his hold. He gave a short whistle and the horse took off in a sprint. I screamed and pushed back in the saddle and into Edward as my hands grabbed to top sides of the saddle next to the horn.

"I've got you," he said confidently as he kicked the horse to go even faster.

He moved in unison with the horse, rising and falling with the natural motion of the gallop. My body moved along with his like a synchronized dance and I began to relax and enjoy the speed. A smile broke across my face and I wanted Edward more than I could express. The adrenaline was pumping and my body was alive and excited because of the man holding me in his arms.

When he pulled back on the reins I looked around and couldn't understand why he brought me to this wooded, barren area. It was rocky and steep and I was so grateful when he told me we were getting off the horse.

He expertly swung his leg around and jumped to the ground as he held onto my leg. "Just swing your leg around and I'll get you from there."

I moved my leg but remained tightly against the horse as I slid awkwardly downward, scraping against the saddle. "Are you okay?" Edward asked.

I raised my shirt to see the red scrape and instantly worried about my costumes. "Do you think this will be gone in two weeks?" I asked him.

He bent down to look closer before leaning in to kiss my stomach. "Yeah, it's not that bad."

"So, where are we?" I asked.

He smiled and began pulling off his shirt. "We're at the hot springs. Let's go skinny dipping."


	4. Chapter 10 thru 12

10

I stared at the misty water with steam causing moisture to drip from the roof of the cave. Edward walked in and sighed loudly as the hot water reddened his skin. I followed and held my hand out for him, to calm my fear of something swimming up to get me.

He pulled me to him and moved us over to a natural ledge in the rock. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he stared directly at my mouth. "Do you come here often?" I asked with a soft voice.

"I did as a kid, not so much anymore."

"Why?"

"It used to be fun to do cannonballs into the water, I find other things more fun now," he winked.

"Oh, I see. So, coming here alone would be…"

"Pitiful," he quickly added.

"But coming here with me would be…"

"Amazing," he filled in.

"Then you better start amazing me, cowboy."

He kissed me with a fierce passion that wasn't slow or hesitant. It was as if he had been waiting for this moment and couldn't force himself to be leisurely. I was meeting his movements with my own frantic need as we both gasped in each other's mouths.

He moved his hands to my head holding me where he needed my mouth to be as he spoke and kissed at the same time. "God, Bella, I need you so much."

"I'm yours, Edward, all yours."

He pulled me to him as his head fell back and he screamed into the air some unintelligible word. What we were doing was as old as the cave, formed by years of water leaching into the ground and up through the small openings of the rock. We were part of the land, natural and deep, needing to be wild and unrestrained.

I didn't wonder what this meant to our relationship, it was forming us into who we needed to be and I gave in and let nature do her work.

When I cried out for him this time, it was actual tears. We didn't only have sex in a hot spring formed in a cave, we made love while hidden away from the world where nothing else matter except us. My entire being loved this man and all I wanted was to make him happy.

He held me tenderly in his arms and kissed the tears sliding down my face. I laid my head on his chest and sighed, "Thank you, Edward."

"I love you," he whispered as if he was terrified to say what he was feeling.

"I love you, too," I said back and he tightened his hold on me.

After a few quiet moments he finally said, "Ah shit!"

My head snapped up to see if someone was coming towards us and he explained, "We don't have any towels."

"Can you send your horse for some?" I suggested in jest.

"I actually could, but if he shows up alone people will follow him back. And I'm not letting anyone see you naked, I would have to murder them and end up in prison…"

"Where you would be some guy's lover and we know how open you are to that," I laughed.

"Fine, go ahead and walk around naked, I don't care."

"Come on, Edward," I said as I kissed his neck, "You wouldn't be willing to take some dick for me?"

"I wouldn't even take some dick for Man-o-war, and you know how much I love him," he said forcefully.

"You love your horse more than me?" I asked in shock.

"Hell yeah, he does whatever I tell him to do and loves to travel with me."

I knew he was joking but I also knew how badly he wanted me to give up my career and join him, especially with Emmett out of commission and his fear working overtime. I looked into his eyes and I could see the same sadness in his, I was sure he saw in mine.

"I'm sorry," I said and I truly meant it.

He nodded and swallowed deeply before giving me a sweet smile. "How long are you staying?"

"When's your next event?" I asked him instead of answering.

"I don't know, I might just hold out until finals, and hope Emmett is better by then."

I felt tears form in my eyes and I looked away from him. "What's wrong," he asked as he pulled my chin back around to him.

"You're going to ride Diablo and you'll have to suicide wrap to do it," I said as I watched his shocked reaction. "I'm not stupid, Edward."

"It's my only option," he said softly.

"No, it's not, you can hit more events or you can take a year off and let it go."

"If I enter more events my chance of getting hurt increases," he said with his face lowered.

"If you ride Diablo and wrap, you're going to die, or worst yet, get Emmett killed."

He sat still for several moments and finally said, "What if I can't do it without Emmett?"

"Edward," I said softly so he would look at me. "You're the best in the world, because of your skill, not because of your brother. He's just an added bonus."

"He's the bravest man I've ever known," he whispered.

"I'm willing to bet he would say the same about you."

Edward nodded and tried to blink back his tears. I kissed his forehead and said, "You've been listening to Emmett for years. I think it's time you do the talking and let him listen."

Emmett was always the bigger, stronger, older brother and Edward thought he needed him. But the truth was, Edward got on those bulls alone. He was smarter and braver than he gave himself credit for. It was time Edward took responsibility for his safety and let Emmett heal with a clear conscience.

The bond between the brothers could slowly erode over this, feeling guilty and angry for letting each other down. Or they could grow stronger and see each other as a team, equally important and equally responsible.

"We better get out of here," he finally said, "I don't want to get you dehydrated and I don't have any water with us."

I stood and headed to the entrance of the cave with a gust of wind hit my body sending me into shivers. I quickly jumped back into the hot water. "You go get towels and I'll wait," I offered.

Edward laughed and pulled his jeans off a tree limb and quickly put them on. "Come here, you can use my shirt as a towel," he said and held it up for me.

I ran to it and quickly ran it over my shaking body. He took it from my hands and did his best to dry me off. I threw on my shirt quickly and put on my underwear, but my tight jeans would not budge on my damp legs.

"What the hell, did I expand or something," I said as I tugged on the tight fabric.

Edward laughed loudly and said, "Wranglers wouldn't do that."

"Shut up and help me," I begged.

"Just put your boots on and ride home without the jeans, nobody will see you."

"So the whole, go to prison for my honor, was a lie?"

"You're not naked," he pointed out and handed me my boots. I stepped into them and he stood back to look at me before doubling over in laughter.

I walked over to a large rock and sat down. "I'm not leaving until my legs dry and I get my jeans on."

Edward whistled and his horse came right over, making me so damn mad at how well it minded him. He grabbed the saddle horn and swung up into the saddle in one fluid motion. He held out his hand and said, "Come on."

I climbed up on the rock and Edward easily pulled me onto the horse. He whistled again and the horse took off in a gallop as I tensed and held my breath. When we got close to the house Edward pulled on the reins and stopped to let me off. I quickly put my jeans on and when I climbed back on, Edward climbed down.

"What are you doing?" I yelled when he tried to hand me the reins.

"I'm going to walk next to you, but you're going to handle the reins."

"No, I want down," I cried.

"Bella, trust me, please. Take the reins and I'll hold the bridle.

He showed me how to properly hold them and he looped his little finger through the bridle and told me to kick the horse lightly. I was terrified and stared at the reins like they had magical powers. Edward walked with his horse into the barn and stopped at a stall with the horses named painted above the door.

Edward smiled and held out his hands to help me down. I was so relieved and let out a rush of air making him laugh. He began removing all the different appliances off the horse and I watched with fascination. It was touching to see him brush the horse with such care and finally place him in the stall.

I stared at him, dressed in only jeans, boots, and hat thinking he was the most beautiful man in the world. He winked at me as he carried the saddle to a rack. I watched his muscles flex across his back and his abs tighten. He finally stood in front of me and chuckled. "Are you done?" he asked.

"What?"

"Are you done treating me like a side of beef?" he teased.

I grabbed the front of his jeans and pulled him to me. "I haven't even started. Have I told you how much I love your body?"

"I would love to hear how much you love my body," he said as he pulled my hips into him.

"Your body makes me believe in mythology, you must have been sculpted in the image of Zeus."

He laughed and pushed me away from him as he grabbed a shovel next to the stall. "The shit is deep in here," he teased as he tried to shovel up my feet.

"Come show me how to work your shower," I demanded and walked toward the house. He ran to catch up and pulled me off my feet and into his arms to carry me to his room.

My phone was blinking and I picked it up to check the messages. They were all from Mike and I didn't want to deal with him right now. I listened to his messages and they were all about meeting with Barton Kirk and coming up with a plan for our supposed romance.

"The showers ready," Edward said and I looked at his dripping body.

"Sorry, I was checking messages."

I walked into the large space with various sprays and sighed at how great it felt. Edward put his hands on my hips from behind me and leaned against my back, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's good," I lied and knew it would come back to bite me.

"Are you feeling adventurous?" he asked shyly.

"What did you have in mind?"

He ran his hands around to the front of my body and tapped my feet apart with his. I leaned over to brace myself against the wall and he grabbed my hips harshly. I was stunned at how aggressive he was. He bordered on rough and it shocked me, and thrilled me like crazy.

His gentleman control was gone and he was running on instinct and pure lust. I didn't recognize his movement and touch. When he was finally leaning against the wall trying to catch his breath I looked at him and laughed.

"I'm sorry," he said shamefully.

"Don't be, that was incredible," I said and slid down the wall of the shower to sit on the floor. He slid down too and looked at me with a smile.

"I'm not used to going this long without riding; I think I just needed the rush."

"Well, I give you a perfect score."

"Can I ask you something, Bella?"

"Sure."

"Does Mike know you're here?"

"No."

"What about your parents?"

"No, why?"

"Am I someone you need to keep quiet about?" he said with a hurt expression.

I couldn't look at his eyes and pulled my legs up and hugged my knees. "Edward, I have sponsors to worry about, too. There are things in place to have me reach a certain level. If I refuse, people lose money."

"I'm not going to like this, am I?"

"I'm…scheduled… to have a fake romance in September," I said without looking at him.

He stood and left the shower. I closed my eyes and let my head fall against the wall. I hoped it didn't ruin the entire evening and the family could enjoy the barbeque. I felt Emmett really needed it. After a few minutes I stood and shut off the water. Edward was gone, and that didn't surprise me.

I took my time getting dressed and pulled my hair back into a messy bun before heading to the kitchen. Esme was cutting up fruit and smiled when I walked into the room. "May I help with something?" I asked her.

She handed me some lemons and asked me to slice them thinly for the lemonade. I sat on a stool and focused on the task. She finally reached out and placed her hand on mine. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"About what?" I asked.

"Whatever it is that has you helping me, and Edward cleaning out the stalls."

"My career is not too accommodating for a relationship. It is all about using smoke and mirrors to create the right impression."

"Edward's career is not very accommodating either. I spent years wishing Carlisle would come off the road. But looking back, I realized it wasn't really that long. We now get to spend every moment together. I wouldn't trade it for the world."

"How did you meet?" I asked her.

"I was a Rodeo queen," she said and I laughed loudly.

"I'm not laughing at you, Esme. I'm thinking of my manager Mike and his obsession with the queens. My parents think I'm a virgin and only watch Disney films," I said as I shook my head.

It was her turn to laugh loudly and it gave me the nerve to ask her about her own children. "Are you okay with your kid's sexual lives?"

"Only if they are performing to the best of their abilities," she said with a chuckle.

"No worries about Edward," I said and she winked at me. "I live in a totally different state and I'm terrified to tell my parents I'm in love with a man. Edward lives with his parents and has no inhibitions about his sexual life in their home."

"It is his home, too. Each child has their own wing and we want them to feel they are free to act as they wish."

"You are so open with each other, but Edward can be narrow minded, too. I have some gay friends and he is not open to that at all."

"Bella, you are around gay people all the time. It is easier to be accepting of something familiar. Not many gay men participate in Rodeos."

"I'm sure there is one out there somewhere," I laughed.

Carlisle walked in and smiled at the sight of me. "I heard you were here, Bella, welcome to our home," he said as he walked over and kissed my cheek.

"Thank you, I had to see how Emmett and Edward were doing," I said slightly embarrassed.

"I just came from Emmett; he is healing at a remarkable rate."

I could not even imagine what he must have looked like last week. Carlisle got the steaks from the refrigerator and began cutting them into small pieces for shish kabobs. He added pineapple, cherry tomatoes and green bell peppers. I relaxed when I saw him make one with mushrooms instead of meat. He never commented or tried to tease me.

I helped Esme make a large salad and when we were out of things to do, I headed off to find Edward. He was working in the barn cleaning out the stalls and I sat on a barrel and watched him. He finally stopped to lean on a shovel and looked at me with narrowed eyes.

"I'm putting my foot down, Bella."

I laughed and when I saw he wasn't joking I crossed my arms over my chest. "You're doing what?" I asked in anger.

"Don't give me that independent, I am woman, shit. I am not going to stand for another man pretending to love you when you are everything to me. I can't believe you would even consider it, Bella."

"It is how the industry works. You can't change the leads in a Broadway show without something to make it news worthy. Anyone can sing, so you have to cause a buzz."

"Fine, the buzz can be how some theater prick is trying to steal my woman, but I'm going to be very clear with how I feel about you, and I want to meet your parents, too."

"All this from shoveling manure?" I asked him with raised eyebrows.

"I'm tired of watching you walk away. You came to me and I'm going to hold on to you this time."

"Can we eat, and then talk about your chauvinistic tendencies?"

He laughed and held out his hand for mine. "I'm not touching you; I know where your hands have been." I walked off and he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me off my feet. I tried to fight him off, kicking and screaming, as he rubbed his sweaty chest all over me.

11

We sat around the table, with Emmett buried in blankets lying in a bed, on the deck. It was touching to see everyone making an effort to include him in the conversation. Emmett would grunt once in awhile but slept most of the time. Rosalie sat next to the bed and rubbed his good hand the entire time.

Jasper seemed troubled about something and Edward finally called him on it. "Something is up, Jasper. Either and animal is sick or you're cheating on Alice."

Alice looked at him with narrowed eyes and said, "You still love me, don't you, Jasper?"

"Always, Alice," he said and kissed her hand, before giving Edward an unwelcomed stare.

Edward seemed to understand the look without needing words and turned to Alice and said, "You need to ride Sarsaparilla more, get him ready and stop worrying about the depth of the dirt."

"He doesn't adjust as easily, I'm afraid he'll fall," Alice said with a worried expression.

I noticed the glances between Edward and Jasper but Alice seemed oblivious, until Emmett grunted loudly. We all looked over at him and he waved his hand. "Do you think I need to ride Sarsaparilla?" Alice asked him and he held up his thumb in approval.

We could hear a horse in the corral making quite a ruckus and I looked over my shoulder to see what was going on. Everyone else ignored the horse demanding attention. I finally looked at Jasper and asked, "Is something wrong with that horse?"

"It's Colossus, Emmett's horse, he can smell Emmett and it upsets him," Jasper explained.

Rosalie reached over and wiped the tears falling from Emmett's eyes and it broke my heart to see and hear them aching for each other. I no longer thought of riding horses as abuse. Any animal that upset over smelling his owner had to have positive feelings for him.

"Alice did you tell Edward your plans?" Carlisle said as he nodded in encouragement.

"Wedding plans?" Edward teased and she rolled her eyes at him.

"You and Bella will marry before me and Jasper," she teased and I felt my stomach tense and my face redden. Edward and I were nowhere near talking about marriage and putting us on the spot made me uncomfortable. Edward never faltered and only smiled at me.

"Um…I'm going back out," she said hesitantly. "I'm going to Stockton, then Bakersfield, and then to Tucson."

"Why waste your time on Bakersfield?" Edward asked and it gave me hope, since he didn't mention the others, maybe he was considering going back out, too.

"I want to stay close and I need something low key, less stressful, you know?"

Edward nodded and picked up his corn without saying anything else.

"Maybe you should go with her," I prodded and the table became silent.

I noticed how his jaw tightened and his foot began to tap nervously. He sat his corn down and looked around the table. I could see the anger rising and I wanted to smack myself for speaking out of turn. He slowly wiped each finger from the buttery corn and finally spoke.

"I'm not going to fucking Bakersfield, like some worn out, used up, talentless has-been. And you're not going either, Alice." He stood as the anger began spilling out of him and he continued, "I came home to help my brother, not to hide like some scared faggot."

My own jaw tightened at his choice of slur and I had to force myself to remain in my seat and let him finish.

"It has only been one week, damn it. I should be allowed a week without everyone counting me out for good. I've earned it. I've left my sweat and blood on the ground of too many arenas to give a shit what people think."

He threw his beer against a tree just off the deck and stormed off. I jumped up and ran after him, ready for my own explosion of pent up anger.

"Edward," I called to him but he kept walking. "Edward, I'm speaking to you," I yelled louder as I followed him toward his room.

I stopped in the hallway and kicked the wall forcefully, "Don't you dare ignore me as you walk off to cry like a baby," I screamed at him. He froze and spun around to face me with pure rage.

"I asked you a simple question; nobody said anything about counting you out. If you are feeling guilty it is all you, because nobody else thinks you're done. Get on the internet and read what people are saying, if you don't believe me. And don't you ever use the word faggot around me again, you arrogant redneck."

I turned and headed back to the deck and left him to sulk alone in his room. I sat back down at the table and everyone broke into laughter. "What?" I asked angrily.

"Redneck is a slur, too," Alice pointed out.

"Yeah, you vegetarian Hollywood Ho," Jasper said as he fell to the side laughing.

"Shut up, you overeducated hillbilly," I said back, causing even Emmett to laugh.

"Broadway gold-digger," he added.

"Animal humper."

"Canadian hater."

I hissed in protest and said, "I do not hate Canadians."

Jasper threw his hands into the air in victory and I glared at him.

"What happened to southern hospitality?" I asked, looking around the table.

"We're not from the south," Alice laughed.

"Bella, forgive us," Esme said kindly. "We are used to being together as family and we seemed to have lost our manners."

The conversation moved on to world events and politics, leaving me bored and tired from all the activity I had engaged in with Edward. I helped clear the table and was relieved to see Edward come out to take Emmett back inside. He pushed the narrow bed back to the open room with the large doors and I waited in the hallway.

I was shocked when I heard him talking to Emmett and knew I shouldn't eavesdrop, but I couldn't force myself to leave, so I sat against the wall and listened.

"Hey Em, we always felt like we owned the world, and with nuts and guts we could do anything, but I realize I wasn't holding up my end of the bargain. I never had to rely on myself, because I relied on you so much. I took chances, knowing you would save me if I extended myself too far. I've gotta get back out there and prove I can do it alone. I want to do it, for you. I want to show you I can have your back, too. I need you to get better, and I need you to believe in me."

I heard Emmett grunt and Edward said, "I know, but it's not the same if you're standing there ready to save me. Before every event you would tell me to keep my head in the game, focus, and remember you're there if I need you."

I smiled, always wondering what it was Emmett would say to Edward before kissing his forehead and then smacking him across the head.

"I took you for granted, because I knew you would always be there for me. Even when you beat the piss out of me, I knew you would always be there. But what I never realized is, you were there for all of us. Cowboys didn't get hurt on your watch, and we owe you big time. I'm so proud to be your brother, and I want to make you proud to be mine. Emmett, I love you."

I heard, not really a grunt, almost a moan, come from Emmett and I wiped my face from the tears their tender moment produced. I waited for a few more minutes and Edward walked from the room. I looked up and he shook his head at the sight of me sitting on the floor.

"And now for you Bella Swan," he said with authority, feeling he was on a roll. "I'm jumping in with both feet. We're going to be seen in public and if anyone asks me about you, I'm telling them the truth. I love you and I want a future with you. I'll support your career, but I won't let some manager come between us. You're going to learn to ride a horse, and I'm going to learn to accept there are men who want other men. Now, get off your ass and get in my bed."

I laughed and shook my head back and forth. "Ask me nicely, like the cowboy I met in Canada."

He took my hands and pulled me to my feet, "Don't push your luck, girl."

I stepped back a couple of feet as I stared into his eyes. He stood firm and I finally said, "You horse is gay," and ran for my life towards his room. He followed and caught me before I could get inside the bedroom door, throwing me over his shoulder and carrying me out the back.

"Put me down, Edward Cullen," I demanded but he walked straight to a large horse trough next to a hitching post off the back of the house.

"Don't you dare," I screamed, trying to squirm my way out of his arms.

"Say it," he demanded.

"Say what?" I asked and he instantly put my feet into the water. "Okay, Manny's not gay."

He lowered me until my calves were now in the water and I quickly screamed, "Man-o-war is not gay."

He pulled my feet from the water and sat me on the ground and I saw he was not mad, but smiling like a man in love. I pulled him to me and kissed him passionately. His arms held me tightly against his body and I smiled against his lips.

"Edward," Jasper called out, "Let's get you back on a bull, want to give it a try?"

I looked at Edward in confusion and he took my hand and led me to the indoor arena. A large mechanical bull was set up in an area with a foam floor. Edward jumped onto the back and stuck his hand in the harness before raising his arm into the air and nodding.

Jasper was at the controls and he moved the bull wildly sending Edward flying to the ground. I gasped and waited for Edward to get up and either cuss or cry. Instead he began laughing hard and jumped back on again. I watched him repeat the actions and really began to worry he had lost his skill.

"Want to try?" Jasper asked me.

"Why can't he ride?" I whispered to Jasper.

"Hey, dickless," Jasper yelled to Edward, "Bella wants to know why you can't ride."

Edward held up both hands and said, "Man, I don't know what's wrong, I think I forgot or something."

Jasper laughed and hit the joystick sending Edward falling backwards off the contraption. "He's not wearing spurs or actually using a bull rope," Jasper explained.

"This is for fun?" I asked stupidly.

"Yeah, give it a try, I'll go easy I promise," he encouraged me.

"No way, I'm not sharing a bed with Emmett," I said adamantly.

Edward held his hand out and called for me, "I'll ride with you; Jasper will only let it go up and down," he promised.

I walked across the thick padding and Edward pulled me up behind him. "Go easy," he said to Jasper and I tightened my hold around his stomach. The machine lifted from the front then dipped and rose from the back as I screamed and buried my head in Edward's back.

"Come on, Bella, you saw more movement than this in the shower today," Edward teased and Jasper whistled loudly.

I purposefully leaned to the side pulling Edward off the bull with me and said, "Some cowboy you are, you can't even stay on a fake bull."

Edward jumped back on and wrapped the rope tightly around his wrist and said, "Give it to me, Jasper."

I yelled in protest and grabbed onto Edward's leg as they both laughed at me again. "I'm done with you two," I said as I headed to the house with my wet legs and wounded pride. I felt sorry for Alice being raised with two brothers. I'm sure she was tortured badly.

When I got to the room to change my phone was blinking again. I called Mike and was told I had to be at a movie premier on Monday. I was expected to walk the red carpet and talk about the tour ending and my run on Broadway starting soon. I dreaded telling Edward, but hoped he would agree to come with me.

Taking Edward to a premier would be the best way to introduce him into my world. He would see how contrived everything was and how people with a lot less talent could easily rise to the top if they have the right representation and handlers.

I waited for him to get out of the shower before telling him I needed to talk. He gave me a worried look before raising his chin and putting up a determined front.

"I need to be home Monday night for a premier and want to know if you might possibly be able to come."

"As your date?" he asked with shock.

"No, as Eric's date," I said sarcastically, "Of course, as my date."

"In front of the world?" he smiled.

"I think the world has put two and two together, already."

"And your parents?" he asked, knowing I hadn't consider that problem.

"Can you wear a chastity ring?" I asked, only partially kidding.

"I plan on saying, Bella can't ride a horse but she can sure ride me," he said as he winked at me.

"My father has a gun," I reminded him.

"Shit, that's nothing, I have six guns."

"Really, are you a good shot?"

He laughed loudly and put his hat on before saying, "You just don't get this whole cowboy thing, do you?"

"Um..yeah..about that," I said softly.

He removed his hat and sat on the edge of the bed, preparing to hear the bad news.

"At the premier, you'll need to be styled."

"What does that mean?" he asked with a furrowed brow.

"You will be dressed to coordinate with me, in some designers clothes so you can mention his name if the press asks."

"What are you wearing?" he asked with a worried expression.

"I don't know yet, my stylist will choose something for me."

"I won't look…um…womanly, will I?"

"Gay…is that what you're asking? I wore jeans up to my armpits and a buckle the size of a sanitary napkin for you."

"I just don't want to wear anything…stretchy," he said hesitantly.

"What the hell is stretchy?" I asked trying not to laugh.

"You know, like stuck to my body."

"A leotard?" I asked in confusion.

"Is that what your dancers wore?"

"Oh my God, Edward, dancers wear those for performances, they don't wear them every day. And just so you know, your wranglers don't leave much to the imagination regarding your package."

He laughed and said, "I just happen to be endowed with nuts and guts."

"You're nuts alright," I said and climbed under his covers.

He got into bed and pulled me to his chest. I was exhausted and really hoping he didn't want sex again. He kissed my head and let out a long breath before saying, "I'm so happy you're here."

"Are you going to go back out?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah, I have a title to keep," he said with conviction.

"Will you promise to be careful?" I said in fear.

"It's not my first rodeo," he said with a yawn and I smiled.

We fell asleep in each other's arms with hope our two world could join together to make one. I had a better understanding of his and could only hope there were things in mine he could understand. I felt less certain about things on my end. My parents were not as understanding as his, and Mike had my career already mapped out.

I had to place faith in our future. Edward would be on his own without Emmett's watchful eye, and fighting to stay on top of his career. I knew how reckless he could be when he was driven to win. Making a mistake in my career meant being left behind, but for Edward, making a mistake meant his death.

12

I left the following morning with plans to meet Edward on Sunday night. He was going to Tucson from my place to start working toward keeping his title. Jasper was worried about his lack of practice, but Edward said it was like riding a bike; he had done it for so long it was second nature to him.

I spent an entire afternoon trying on different dresses. The movie was a futuristic science fiction film and I didn't want anything too 'out there' so Edward could dress conservatively. I finally settled on a dress that looked like it was made of some sort of plastic, but was actually a soft material. It was black with white piping to give it a corset look.

I made a styling appointment for Edward and begged them to be gentle with him. I explained he was very outdoorsy and very macho, and then worried when I saw the two male assistants look at each other and wiggle their eyebrows.

"Seriously," I said to them, "treat him like a scared puppy that could rip your arm off with one bite."

"I love it when they get rough," Jules said jokingly.

"You slut," Damien responded.

"Guys please, this is really important. Pretend he is John Wayne."

"Ride em cowboy," they laughed and I began to truly worry.

Edward arrived at my house with paparazzi lighting up the street with all the flashes. He had the code to the gate and pulled his massive truck next to my little Prius. I didn't dare walk out to greet him but waited anxiously for him to walk through the door.

He knocked softly and walked in. I ran at him and jumped into his arms wrapping my legs around his waist. "Has it really only been two days?" I said and then kissed him with fervor.

"Which way?" he asked still attached to my mouth and I knew he was talking about my bed.

"Oh, um, sorry," I said and slid down his body to stand. "Eric is on his way over, he wants to meet you."

"Now?" he asked and seemed a little perturbed.

"Why not?"

"I don't know, shouldn't I get better acclimated before I meet the…friends?"

"Edward, he's my best friend. I want you to like him."

He ran his hand over the back of his neck and let out a loud breath. "I'm trying, Bella."

"You can't catch it, you know," I said in irritation.

"Has that been proven?" he joked and I didn't laugh.

"Come see my house," I said and pulled his arm toward the various rooms. His house was full of antiques and thick wooden furniture. Mine was sleek and modern and decorated in whites and grays. When I opened the door of my bedroom he laughed loudly.

"What the hell is that?" he asked looking at my bed.

"It's a bed; it's on cables suspended from the beams."

He walked over and looked underneath it and then up at the ceiling. "Will it hold me?"

"Yes, it's very sturdy and actually earthquake proof."

"Why is it so thin?"

"It's made of condensed foam. It contours to your body," I explained.

"I'm sleeping in my truck," he said under his breath.

"I didn't come into your house and make fun of your grandpa looking stuff," I said angrily.

"You mean my bed, that has legs on the floor and a mattress and box springs, what was I thinking?"

I heard the doorbell ring at that moment. I turned and walked from the room, so I wouldn't have to show Edward the bidet' in the bathroom. Eric walked in and gave me a cautious look. "Is it safe to enter?" he asked.

"Please, be nice," I said with a worried expression.

Edward came into the entry area to stand behind me and I introduced the two men without looking at either one.

Edward extended his hand and Eric shook it with just his fingers. "I like your hat," Eric said causing Edward to tense a bit.

"Honey, why don't you put your bag in my room and I'll make you a drink," I said to Edward and he nodded and walked out the door.

"He's cute," Eric said grabbing my hand and pulling me into the kitchen, "Very…manly."

"Be on your best behavior," I warned Eric.

I was making margaritas when Edward came back into the room with us and leaned against the counter. "I have a hair appointment tomorrow so Eric will take you to your fitting," I said and hoped Edward didn't turn and run.

"Fitting?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm wearing a black dress, so yours should be conservative," I added to comfort him.

"Boots were in a few years back, but you won't be able to wear them this year," Eric said to him and I watched Edward's jaw tighten.

"They're not fashion statements," Edward explained.

"Oh I know, but they used to be around here," Eric tried to clarify.

"Tell Edward what to expect on the red carpet," I said to Eric.

"You are going to love this, darling," Eric said, "your job is to stare at Bella lovingly. Act like she is the best tuna in the world."

"Bella," Edward called out, telling me he was quickly reaching the end of his patience and wouldn't tolerate what he considered inappropriate jokes about women.

"Eric, slang upsets Edward. He thinks you are being disrespectful to me."

"No, no, Bella's my bitch," Eric mistakenly said and Edward grabbed him by the front of his shirt as I grabbed Edward's arm to intervene.

"He doesn't mean it like it sounds, Edward. He means were buddies and we understand each other."

"Unclench Rin Tin Tin," Eric said as he pulled away from Edward. "The Rambo crap doesn't play well in these hills."

Edward gave me a confused expression that was mixed with anger. I smiled and said, "Do you understand the words individually, but the way we put them together confuses you?"

He nodded and a slight smile form on his face.

"You are working the manly stubble," Eric said and Edward self consciously rubbed his chin.

I handed him a drink and he gulped it quickly causing Eric to laugh loudly. Eric and I sipped our drinks and I poured Edward a second margarita. We headed out onto my deck which overlooked the city and I noticed how opposite it was to Edward's view of nothing but land.

"How's Emmett," I asked.

"Good, he's actually using a straw now," Edward said speaking only to me.

"Edward's brother is a bullfighter," I said to Eric.

"Really, I've always wanted a cape," he responded.

Edward looked away uncomfortably and I explained Rodeo bullfighters to Eric.

"So tell me, Edward," Eric said, "What does it feel like to have a vicious animal between your legs?"

Edward's head turned slowly and he glared at Eric. "Why don't you tell me," he said hatefully.

"Edward," I yelled.

"Oh, I see," Eric said staring at Edward. "Because I sleep with men you figure my partners are just animals. You think we are just dogs in heat, jumping each other without feeling or emotions."

"To be honest, Eric, I don't think about it at all," Edward said and looked away again.

I felt tears building in my eyes. I was embarrassed and hurt by Edward's behavior. Eric stood and leaned over to give me a quick kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow, chica."

I jumped up and followed him to the door, "Eric, please just give him some time. You are the first gay man he's ever had a conversation with."

Eric looked at me with wet eyes and crossed his arms as he leaned on one hip. "It's just like talking to my father, Bella. But that isn't even the worst part, he's taking you away and things will never be the same between us."

"I will never let that happen, do you understand? Never!"

"Sure you will, and if I was the one in love with him, I would do the same thing," he said sadly and walked out the door.

I headed angrily back to the deck and before I could even open my mouth Edward apologized, "I know I can do better, but you gotta understand this is more than I thought I was capable of."

"He's just another person, he feels what you feel and he deserves respect," I said with tears running down my face.

He looked over the view and I knew he felt claustrophobic or trapped. His world was so constant and mine was always changing with the fads. I could see the beauty of his world, but he couldn't see the appeal of mine.

"Why did you leave Forks?" he asked me and his question took me by surprise.

"It felt like it belonged to my father. It was his town, with his people, and his duty to watch over it. I knew if I stayed I would remain a child and I wanted to feel….I don't know."

"Free?"

"I wanted to feel like me. I wanted to know who I was and what I was capable of. Does that sound stupid?"

"No, but the only place I know who I am, is at home. I know where I came from and what is expected of me, and when I die I will become part of the land and continue on forever. I look out at all those lights and I wonder if anyone down there knows what I know."

"When I'm on stage and I look out at the audience under the bright lights, I think how lucky I am that I know more than what Forks had to offer. There is a big world out there and I want to be part of it."

We both continued to stare at the view, unwilling to look at each other because the things we wanted were so opposite. I had an inner dialog that moved back and forth between asking him to leave and asking him to promise me forever. I knew he was waging his own inner battle and I began to sink into despair. I finally turned to look at him and asked, "Are you sorry you came?"

He gave me a weak smile and reached over for my hand. "It's all just…stuff. You can always work out stuff."

"Promise," I said in a whisper, needing him to lie to me.

"It's not my first Rodeo," he whispered and pulled my hand to his mouth.

"I would like you to take me to bed," I said, needing him so badly at the moment.

"My pleasure," he said and stood to lead me back into the house and into the bedroom. He nudged the bed frame with his leg, as if he expected it to swing wildly. When he saw it was stationary he began removing my clothes and I undressed him.

He lay on the bed stiffly as if he was afraid to move and I laughed at him. I straddled his hips and looked down at his gorgeous face. "You're good Edward, but not good enough to snap the cables."

He growled and quickly flipped me under him before he moved with abandon. It was during these times I wanted to believe in us the most. I only felt love when he held me. He gave his entire self to me and made me feel like I was the only thing in his mind.

He was staring into my eyes and moving my hair off of my face and I could see a hint of sadness in his eyes. "What are you thinking about, Edward?"

"How much I love loving you," he whispered.

I smiled and agreed, "I love how much you love loving me."

He laughed and said, "and I love how much you love how much I love loving you."

"You're such an ass," I teased.

"I feel weak, and I've never felt that way before," he finally admitted.

"Do I make you feel weak?" I asked him with sorrow.

"I guess a better word would be alone, I feel alone. Emmett is gone and you will be gone soon, too."

"I'm not going anywhere," I pointed out.

"Sure you are, you're going to take Broadway by storm and the whole world will be screaming for Bella Swan," he smiled but I knew it was forced.

"We need to work hard to keep us together, we need a plan."

"Marry me," he said honestly.

I ran my finger along his chin and tried to smile but my tears began to fall, giving away my heartbreak. "Edward, I don't want to marry, ever. Can't it just be us for as long as we can make it?"

"You don't plan on marrying me?" he asked with total surprise.

"I plan on loving you with all my heart," I told him to calm his reaction.

"What about in five years? Would you marry me then?"

"I don't need a marriage to commit to someone," I tried to explain but he moved away from me.

"Bella, I want you to be my wife. I want a ring around your finger and a story to tell our grandkids."

"You lived with Jane," I pointed out.

"No, Jane came one day and never left, although I asked her many times. I never loved her or wanted to marry her."

"Are you going to live here, Edward? Or do you want me to come to Blue Lake and live behind the huge gates."

"You have gates here," he said angrily.

"You don't understand my world yet, come to the premier and come see me on Broadway and then tell me if you still want to marry me, okay?"

He nodded and finally lay back down on the pillow. I could tell he was tense and I felt awful for taking away his dream before he left for Tucson. He was hurting right now and I just added to the hurt. I hugged him tightly and said, "I love you, Edward Cullen, you're not alone."

He kissed my head and said, "My heart belongs to you, Bella Swan."

The next day I was sitting in a salon chair biting my nails in a sweat worrying about Edward's fitting. Eric texted me and said he had picked Edward up, but no other messages came after that point.

George smacked my hand and called over one of his girls to work on my nails. I began bouncing my leg and George finally called for a glass of wine. He handed it to me and said, "You're not up for an award or anything."

"I have other pressures, my boyfriend is in town and Hollywood scares him," I said and took a sip of wine.

"He isn't an actor?" George asked in shock.

"No, he's a cowboy," I said with a roll of my own eyes.

"Those things really exist?" he laughed.

"Apparently there is an entire underground world full of them."

"So is he an urban cowboy?"

"No, he's a born and bred, authentic, bull riding, rodeo champion cowboy."

"I'll need a picture to believe you," he teased and I laughed before telling him Edward would be coming there to pick me up.

Then entire salon was a buzz with anticipation. The moment Edward walked through the door I could tell the fitting did not go well. Eric gave me a quick shake of his head and I took a breath to brace myself. "That is not a happy face," I said to Edward.

"Bella, I can't wear those clothes. I look like a beatnik," he complained.

"He actually looked very fresh and hot," Eric interjected and Edward closed his eyes to stay in control.

"Did something happen?" I asked Edward quietly.

"They kept commenting on my balls, Bella. It was emasculating."

"They weren't impressed?" I asked honestly.

He looked away and I laughed loudly, "Oh, they were very impressed," I said in understanding.

He crossed his arms and glared at me, "Why do you hate me so much?"

"I love you, Edward. Why does the fact other men find you attractive bother you so much?"

George walked out to see the macho cowboy and looked him up and down before smiling widely.

"Ah, shit," Edward said and looked away.

"Well, well, well, aren't you all raging bull mixed with pretty," George teased and Edward's hands pulled into fists.

"Leave him alone," I told George and rubbed Edward's back to calm him.

"Remove the hat, let me see the hair," George instructed him but Edward didn't respond.

"Honey, let George just trim it up, nothing radical," I said with pleading eyes. "You won't be able to wear the hat tonight."

Edward angrily removed his hat and George tisked several times as he pulled Edward into a chair. I never considered his hair needing styled, but now that I saw it around the other stylish men, he did look pretty shaggy.

I watched as George worked his magic, keeping it long and wild, but thinning it out and styling it with gel. Edward looked so hot I actually worried about someone trying to steal him from me. Eric came to sit on the arm of my chair and I asked him about the fitting.

"He's got major homophobic issues. You can't even mention his dick without him tucking it in and hiding."

"He was raised to think you guys are a myth, imagine seeing a leprechaun for the first time," I teased.

"Or, maybe thou doest protest too much," Eric said with raised eyebrows.

"He's not going to do you Eric, give it up," I laughed and he punched me in the arm.

"I saw his little video and I thought maybe I would be the one doing him."

"She's his cousin," I announced and Eric jumped up from the arm of the chair.

"I heard about them deliverance people with all their inbreeding," he said in disgust and I shook my head.

"She isn't blood related, just a groupie hanging onto an elderly aunt."

Edward walked over to me with his head down as George went on and on about his thick hair. I took hold of his hand and blew him a kiss when he looked at me. He smiled…barely.

"You look so handsome," I said gently.

"I have to get out of here, my balls are in my stomach," he announced with desperate eyes.

"George, come take the hot rollers out and finish me," I called over to him.

Edward walked to the waiting room and took a seat. He glanced at the various magazines and then took a deep breath and closed his eyes. I tried not to laugh, but I could picture James and his buddies seeing Edward sitting here with gelled hair and a salon full of men drooling over him. He would so get the shit beat out of him.

When it was time to dress I was anxious to get a look at Edward. He wouldn't discuss his clothes all afternoon and I wondered if he would actually put them on. He walked out wearing pants made out of the same material as my dress, fitting tightly all the way to his feet, and a white tunic top with a collarless blazer.

He stood with his thumbs hanging from the front of the pants, leaning on one leg. He looked so hot but I could tell he thought he looked too feminine. "If it helps you can change the shirt," I offered and he ran from the room.

He came back later with a white button down western shirt and I made him pull it out from the pants so it could hang leisurely. He felt better and the blazer covered most of the shirt anyway. "What shoes are you wearing?" I asked him and he let his head fall again.

"I have black boots," he offered and I crossed my arms, letting him know they were not an option.

"Bella, they're girl shoes," he complained.

"They gave you heels?" I questions, knowing they didn't.

"No, but they look…."

"Gay?" I asked angrily.

"Weird," he offered to save himself.

"Let me see."

He left the room and I put on the finishing touches with my makeup before spraying perfume across my body. He returned and held out a pair of sculpted loafers, without any heel and chopped bluntly across the front.

"Those will look great with the suit," I assured him.

"They look like I chased a parked car," he complained.

"Edward," I said in frustration, "with your face nobody will be looking at your shoes, so shut the hell up and get dressed."

His head dropped and I knew there was another issue he wanted to address so I finally sighed loudly and said, "Now what?"

"I want to wear socks."

"So, wear them."

"They told me not to."

"Be a rebel Edward, you show them by wearing socks, okay?"

"I'm not trying to ruin you night," he said as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I know, you are actually doing very well. Don't worry about all of this; it is only pretend to create an illusion. Concentrate on the fact I will do whatever you want in bed tonight."

His head snapped up and he smiled like a kid at Christmas. "I guess I don't need socks," he smiled and I walked over to kiss him lightly.

"You look beautiful," he said and tightened his hold.

"You are the only person I care to look beautiful for, so thank you."

The doorbell rang and I smiled at his scared expression. "Ready cowboy?"

"I'll be listening for the eight second bell," he laughed and I swatted his ass.


	5. Chapter 13 thru 15

13

Mike was waiting in the limo and gave Edward a cold greeting. He handed me some talking points about my upcoming run on Broadway. I noticed how most of them mentioned how excited I was to work with Barton Kirk. Mike began speaking to Edward about what was expected of him tonight.

"You will help Bella from the car and then stand with her for about one minute. You will walk away and come to the end of the media line and stand with me. Bella will make her way down the line and you will enter the theater together. After the movie you will head out the back and Bella will come out the front and meet you at the after party."

"He's coming out the front with me," I corrected Mike.

"You have to walk to the after party with Barton," Mike corrected.

"Fine, I'll walk with Barton as I hold Edward's hand."

Mike glared at Edward causing him to clear his throat and say, "I may be dressed like a sissy, but I'll clean your clock if you speak to her disrespectfully."

I turned to address Edward, not Mike. "That macho crap doesn't work here, Edward. You can't punch someone and come to an understanding. They will sue your ass so fast you will spend the next few years in court."

"Bella, if there is trouble tonight, they will replace you faster than you can say, end of career," Mike reminded me.

"There isn't going to be any trouble, right Edward?"

He nodded and looked away from me. I was sure he was feeling emasculated and out of his element, and I could only hope he would find something enjoyable about the night.

The car pulled into the line and I waited nervously for our turn to exit. I glanced at Edward and he seemed so resigned. He looked almost hopeless and I wanted to turn the car around and go home where I could hold him and love him.

When the door opened Edward moved quickly to be the first one out and then held his hand out for mine. Mike glared at me and I whispered, "He's just being a gentleman."

I took his hand and exited the car to loud screams and cheers from waiting fans. I wrapped one arm around Edward and used my other arm to wave vigorously. He instantly stuck his thumb in the waist of his pants and I spoke without moving my mouth. "Get your hand out of your pants."

He gave me a shocked look and then laughed and I hoped that would be the picture used of him. I moved us forward and stood in front of the backdrop for the photographers to get their pictures. "Hey Edward," someone yelled and Edward pointed at a photographer and said, "Hey Larry."

All the photographers began yelling his name at that point and Mike quickly ushered him away. He walked him too closely to the media line and someone reached out and grabbed Edward's arm.

"Mr. Cullen, can I have a moment?"

"Sure," Edward said and leaned in to hear the reporter.

"How's your brother?"

"Doing well, he's healing faster than projected, but Emmett has always been a stud."

"There's a video of you circulating around the internet, would you care to comment on it?"

Edward's jaw tightened and he glared at the reporter but she wouldn't back down. "What does Bella think of the video?"

He glanced at her hand to see a wedding ring and said, "What do you think of who your husband fucked years ago?"

She smirked at him, knowing she was getting prime coverage and had him against the ropes. "It's not all over the internet."

"I was a single man, I had sex, I don't see your point."

"It surfaced when you were seeing Bella, did it upset her?"

"Bella knows she better."

I grabbed Edward's arm and pulled him with me toward the theater. When we got inside I turned to him with tears in my eyes. "Are you insane?"

"What?" he asked, "I was defending you."

"You just announced to the world I give great blow jobs," I said with wild eyes. "My parents will hear this."

"What was I supposed to say, she asked if the video upset you?"

"You walk away without commenting. That is what you do."

"I never get asked shit like this. I get asked about the ride and that is it. I didn't expect this."

"I know, because you are the big hero and they want to perpetuate the image. Here they want to find any fault and pick it apart. I told you the press could be brutal."

"Do you want me to leave?" he asked angrily.

"No, just shut your mouth," I said back just as angrily.

Mike grabbed me by the arm and Edward instinctually stepped forward so I pushed him back. "Go find our seats, Edward. I have to talk to the press."

I watched him walk away and noticed how out of place he seemed. My heart ached for him and I knew how foreign everything was feeling. Mike led me outside and I tried my best to do damage control. I was introduced to Barton in front of the cameras and we smiled and kissed each others cheek just as we had been instructed.

The movie was starting by the time I made it to my seat. Edward leaned on his elbow away from me and we didn't speak through the entire movie. When the lights came on Edward spoke softly to me. "I'll go through the back and let you create the image you need to create."

"Don't Edward, please."

He stood and walked away as I stared in silence. Barton walked up to my aisle and held out his arm. I tried to smile as we walked out of the theater in front of all the cameras. We both spoke of how much we looked forward to working together and my anxiety was building quickly.

When we got to the party I looked around for Edward, but I didn't see him anywhere. I finally found Mike, "Where's Edward?" I asked.

"He's around here somewhere, maybe he is in the restroom."

I relaxed a bit and began making the rounds to acknowledge various celebrities. I was photographed with the right people and made it a point to stand by Barton as much as possible. The champagne was lifting the heaviness around my heart and I began enjoying the party.

When they played one of my songs I danced with a group of girls, laughing and carrying on like I didn't have a care in the world. It was almost midnight when I realized I never found Edward. I looked around in a panic and rushed out to grab a cab.

I began to cry when I saw his truck was gone from my driveway. I walked into the house feeling so alone, just as he had tried to tell me he was feeling. His clothes were folded on the table with a note attached.

_I'm sorry, Bella. I ruined your big night and I only meant to support you. I don't understand the image you have to cultivate, I think you are perfect the way you are. My heart longs for home and yours longs for the road. It is not something we can work out, because I want a wife and family that never leaves or changes. It hurts so badly because I want it with you. I wish you luck and hope you find all you want in life. My heart will love you always._

I read the note over and over as I cried on my bed. My stupid suspended bed. Eric showed up the next morning and lay with me as I cried. "I have to let him go, but it hurts," I admitted.

"Are you sure he wasn't just a novelty?" Eric asked,

"He was attractive, and sexy, and funny, and so giving, but the thing I liked the most was I felt loved. He would fight the whole world just for me and I know that is macho and stupid, but it was natural for him. I was always first in his mind, even when we made love, it was all about me."

"So go after him," Eric said knowing I couldn't.

"He wants to get married. He wants to raise little cowboys on his family ranch. I'm not letting my kids fall off sheep and eat steak every night."

"So why are you here crying?"

"Because, no matter how different we are I love him."

"He loves you too, chica. And he proved it by leaving."

I burst into tears and felt my heart breaking in two. He was strong enough to do the right thing and that made me love him even more.

The press was rabid in their assault on Edward. They called him a cowboy Casanova and bought the story about him breaking my heart and Barton picking up the pieces. I hoped Edward didn't hear the stories, but he was so focused on his title I doubted it.

He was entering every event he could and riding with a broken finger. Jacob Black was now feeling the pressure and having to step up his game, too. I finished the tour and started my run on Broadway. I loved New York and the constant energy helped me forget about Edward.

My parents surprised me by showing up one night. I took them to a late dinner after the show and prayed they didn't bring up Edward. I wasn't so lucky.

"What happened with the bull rider?" my father asked.

"Nothing, he's doing quite well," I answered honestly.

"He seemed like a solid guy," Charlie mumbled.

"Yeah, he was cool," I said nonchalantly.

"Did you tell him no?" he pushed.

"Dad, I'm not talking about my sex life," I said angrily and watched his jaw clench.

"I meant his proposal. He called me for permission."

I felt the blood drain from my face and my mouth went dry. "What?" I said softly.

"He said you came and met his family, and he was going to propose and come meet us. What happened?"

"He never proposed," I said honestly.

"That's odd," my mother added.

"No, it isn't odd. I think he just saw how different we are and changed his mind. He is very old fashioned," I said and noticed my parents look at each other.

"He rides bulls," I said to make them side with me. "I don't want a guy on the verge of death all the time."

"I asked him about that and he said he doesn't plan to do it forever," my father said in defense of Edward.

"He wants his children to do it, and that is even worse."

"So are you seeing your costar?" Renee asked.

"No, I'm working on my career. I've been offered a few movie roles, nothing I would consider, but offers are at least coming in."

They both nodded politely and I wanted to throw my soup on them. "I'm not sure I will come home for Thanksgiving this year. I need to stop by my house and check on things and I only have the two extra days off."

My father nodded and then said something to stun me, "You might want to check out Buffalo."

I already knew Edward would be in Buffalo, I just didn't know how my father knew. I tried not to seem too interested and only nodded and said softly, "I'm pretty busy."

We said our goodbyes and I ran to my hotel and called Eric the second I got in my room. I knew it was late but I prayed he would be awake.

"Hello," he answered sleepily.

"Are you awake?" I asked.

"I'm with someone," he said quietly.

"I need you right now, Eric," I yelled and heard someone laugh.

"She's a drama queen," Eric said to someone and walked where he could talk.

"He called my father and asked if he could propose," I said so fast I wondered if he understood me.

"Was it part of the plan or did Barton do it on his own?"

"Not Barton, Edward."

"You're still seeing Edward?" he gasped.

"No, I'm talking about back in August. Would you pay attention."

"What does it matter what he wanted in August? That was another lifetime ago," he pointed out.

"He'll be in Buffalo for Thanksgiving, should I go see him?"

"You're not coming home? I want you to meet Ben," he said with disappointment.

"I hate Thanksgiving with the whole slaughter of animals so you can glutton yourself into being able to stand your family."

"I'm making a tofu turkey and plan on eating sparingly, now that Ben is seeing me naked."

"Well, nobody is seeing me naked, so I would just stuff myself," I said bitterly.

"I see," he laughed. "You want the cowboy to give you some Bella time, make it all about you to get your groove back."

"You think? Maybe? No, I don't want to have sex with him," I said adamantly knowing sex with Edward would make the whole holiday.

"Go see him, get him out of your system and rail on his perfect ass for calling your father. How stuck in the fifties is he? Calling for your hand, how barbarian."

"Tell me about Ben?"

"He's beautiful and he likes my taste in artwork."

"Oh God, you better hold onto him. What does he do?"

"He does me," Eric laughed.

"He wants to be an actor, doesn't he? I told you to stay away from those," I said with concern for my friend's heart.

"He's on a soap; just keep it quiet."

"He's not out of the closet, come on Eric, you know better than that!"

"He's out; the producers just want it quiet."

I shook my head with disgust. Hollywood was supposed to be so liberal and so open to all lifestyle choices, but in reality it was a town run by old men, terrified of losing a dollar from the Midwestern product purchasing population.

"How screwed up is our world, Eric?"

"No sir, bitch, don't start judging because your cowboy is close. Save that Tammy Wynette shit for the Rodeo."

"I'm really lonely, Eric," I admitted.

"I thought you loved New York?" He asked,

"I did, at first, now it's just…crowded."

"You can't be lonely in a crowded place unless you are being lonely on purpose. You're aching for the cowboy and you know it."

I wondered why Eric was pushing me toward Edward. He used to be terrified Edward would take me away and now he was encouraging it. I knew it had something to do with Ben. He found someone he wanted to make permanent and needed me to find my own life.

"Eric, hang onto Ben, and I'll come meet him soon, I promise."

"Are you going to Buffalo?" he asked and I was silent for a moment.

"Yeah, I'm going to Buffalo."

14

I read up on the Cullens and actually screamed out loud when I heard Emmett would be in Buffalo, too. He wasn't working, only coming to see Edward. I worried when I read Jacob Black would be there. I didn't want Edward losing focus by having me hanging around.

I saw a few pictures of Edward with various women, but it didn't phase me. I knew what Edward looked like when he was in love, and his face never had that look. I assumed he was relieving tension before rides and wanted to believe he was still dreaming of me.

I wasn't sure if I was going to let him know I would be there or just surprise him. Edward made the decision for me when Mike walked into my dressing room after the last performance before the holiday. "Did you see your cowboy showed up?"

"He's here?" I asked and jumped up from my chair.

"No, he left. I watched him carefully to make sure he didn't cause any problems, but he just left with the crowd."

"He wouldn't cause any problems," I said in anger. "You should have told me."

"He obviously didn't want to see you. He never asked to come back stage and I called the hotel, he didn't stop by there either."

I felt tears sting my eyes and I began removing my make up harshly. Mike continued to stare at me and I looked at him accusingly. "What?" I asked.

"Are you going home for the holiday? I haven't made any travel plans for you."

"No, I'm staying here. I want to rest and see a bit of the city."

"Barton's going to Florida, we could have you make a visit," Mike threw out to see if I would be receptive.

"Get out," I said softly and went back to my mirror.

I stayed in my room the entire day on Thanksgiving and actually ate out of a vending machine. I debated on what to do about Edward. He obviously didn't want to see me, so I needed to keep my visit quiet too. I purchased a ticket for the Saturday event, wanting to see him ride bulls not broncs and booked a room at a local hotel.

I was being such a girl about the whole thing, wanting to wear something sexy so he would want me, but also not wanting to stand out in the crowd. I settled for jeans and a tight jacket with a low cut t-shirt. I found some cute fashion boots, not western boots, to complete the outfit.

I arrived early and the arena was only sparsely populated. I was staring at the numbers over the various entrances trying to find my section when someone called my name. My head snapped around quickly to see Tanya walking towards me.

"I didn't know you would be here?" she said sweetly and I felt anger building inside me.

"Are you filming me?" I asked hatefully. "I mean I just want to know if you're getting my best side or not."

"Sorry about that, but some friends were trying to get even with me over something. I had nothing to do with it," she lied.

"Whatever," I said and went back to looking at the numbers.

"The whole family is here, we had Thanksgiving together," she gushed.

"Nice, excuse me," I said rudely and walked away.

I was shaking with anger and also fear she would tell Edward I was here. I didn't want to see him until after he rode and decide then if it was a good idea or not. I walked inside the large center and smelled the familiar smell and saw the familiar look of the chutes and judging tables. The arena had family boxes reserved and I saw the Cullens large area right next to the alleyway.

The place began to slowly fill with spectators and I kept my face down with little worry of being recognized. I saw Carlisle, Esme, and Aunt Kate enter the box and I had to fight back tears. I knew seeing Emmett would push me right over the edge, so I looked away.

The day started with the barrel racing and I was so anxious to see Alice ride. Before the event started they announced Emmett was in attendance and the crowd went wild. He stood from the box and waved proudly. He looked strong, and healthy, and I wanted to hug him so badly. I saw Rosalie wearing a tight maternity top, looking gorgeous as always.

The racing went on without much excitement until Alice was announced. The crowd loved her and I cheered right along with them. She came flying across the starting line and circled the first two barrels with ease, but as Georgia ran towards the center barrel he pulled away and stumbled a couple of times before falling on his side.

Alice was able to jump free of the horse as the crowd screamed in shock. I saw Jasper run into the ring and Emmett jumped over the railing and down into the arena. Alice was crying and Emmett pulled her into his arms as Jasper ran to the fallen horse.

He checked his legs carefully and then began focusing on his eyes. Carlisle entered the ring holding a large medical box and both men concentrated on the horse. I saw a horse trailer back into the alley and Edward got out of the truck. My heart was beating wildly as I stood with my hand over my mouth in shock.

The horse finally stood and everyone began to cheer, until it drunkenly staggered and needed assistance getting into the trailer. Alice was beyond consoling and Emmett was talking adamantly as he held her tiny face in his hands.

She was offered the opportunity to ride again with her other horse, but she declined, and headed off to be with Georgia. I felt like some sort of bad omen had settled on the family and I was terrified for Edward.

I made my way to the family box and Esme saw me first. She nodded to the security guard to let me though and came over to hug me tightly. "Is Alice okay?" I asked.

"We knew Georgia was sick, but she refused to believe it. I'm afraid she will have a hard time accepting this," Esme said with her own tears.

"So he wasn't hurt?" I asked.

Esme shook her head and then turned to show Rosalie I was there. I smiled at her and said, "Emmett looks great."

"He's as stubborn as a mule. He is determined to be with Edward at finals," she said angrily.

"Isn't it coming up soon?" I asked.

"Three weeks," she sighed.

Kate smiled at me and I nodded kindly but I refused to even acknowledge Tanya. The event picked up and when Esme asked me to join them I politely refused. She took my hand and pulled me to the steps and behind the chutes.

"Esme," I said with a panic, "I don't want to see Edward."

She stopped walking and turned to look at me. "Oh, I thought…."

"I mean I do want to see him, but not before he rides. I don't want him to lose his focus or anything."

"What the hell," Emmett yelled loudly and my heart almost exploded in my chest. I looked up slowly to see he was alone and I let my smile form.

"I liked you better when you couldn't speak," I laughed.

"Worst month of my life," he teased.

I reached out and hugged him, so grateful he was still on this earth breathing. He spoke into my ear as he held me in his massive arms. "You did quite a number on him."

"Tell me the truth, should I leave?"

"Depends on why you're here," he said honestly.

I tried to come up with all kinds of answers, and each one partially true, but the only thing I could say was, "I just needed to see him."

"He's with Alice, do you want me to take you to him?" he asked.

"Will it mess up his head, for his event?"

"Who cares, he's messed up most of the time anyway," Emmett said with a shake of his head.

"I thought he was really focused, I mean he's winning and not getting hurt." I couldn't image Edward thinking about anything but winning, but he did come to see me perform.

"Yeah, he's focused, just not for the right reasons. He lost his love for the sport and using it to drown his sorrows. I think it will help when I come back, but now he's proven he can do it alone and there isn't much left to prove."

I knew what he was talking about. I was receiving rave reviews on Broadway, but once I proved I could do it, the passion left. I was just a lonely singer in a huge city, playing a part night after night.

"Take me to Edward," I said and held out my hand.

He led me toward the trailers and I saw Georgia lying on a bed of hay, with Alice lying against her neck sobbing. Jasper had various instruments hooked up to the horse but the mood told me there was nothing they could do.

Emmett pointed toward another corral and I saw Edward standing with his back to me, rubbing Man-o-war's head. I walked up slowly and said, "Has he come out of the closet yet?"

Edward's hand froze and he didn't even attempt to turn around. He stood perfectly still and I began biting my lip as I tried to decide what to say. I noticed how his shoulders began to shake and I pulled my hands against my body to stop from touching him.

"Do you want me to leave?" I finally said in a tortured whisper.

He shook his head back and forth and I had no idea why he wouldn't look at me or talk to me. I walked over to the railing to look at his face and was shocked to see tears. He looked away from me and I smiled, knowing he didn't want me seeing him so emotional.

"You came to my show?" I asked softly.

He nodded and said, "Yeah."

"I would have loved to have seen you," I admitted and knew I needed to be clearer so I added. "I really needed to see you, Edward."

He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into his chest as he folded his body around mine. It was so familiar and I cried out from the feeling it produced in me. I tightened my arms around him and held him as tightly as I could as he did the same. It was hard to breathe but I didn't care. I would gladly give up oxygen to be in his arms.

"I was standing here, wishing for you, and you're here," he said into my neck.

His horse nudged him and he raised his hand to push him away, "Get your own mare," Edward teased.

"Did you just call me a horse?" I asked as I tried to pull away.

Edward only tightened his arms and said, "Just stand here, don't speak, just stand."

I laughed and he kissed my neck, causing the laughter to turn into moans. I ran my fingernails up and down his back and he pushed me into the railing to bring our bodies even closer. "I think you have a bull to ride," I reminded him.

"I'll be back in eight seconds," he said but remained holding me tightly.

"I'll go sit with your family, and wait for you to be done, okay?"

He finally pulled back and ran his thumbs over my cheeks and stared into my eyes. "Can you stay the night?" he asked softly.

"Do you want me to hang out with you at the dance?" I smiled.

"No, I want you to make love to me in my bed," he said with a serious expression. My heart went into overdrive and my knees went weak. I was happier at this moment than I had been in the past three months.

I nodded and said earnestly, "Don't get hurt."

"It's not my first rodeo," he said with a genuine grin I remembered.

I headed back inside and passed poor Alice, so brokenhearted over a sick horse when she had a horse worth over a hundred grand just waiting for her. I felt foolish for thinking cowboys and cowgirls abused their animals. The bond between them was tighter than I ever imagined.

I joined Esme in the box and took Carlisle's seat. She reached over and took my hand to hold in her own and I felt loved. Emmett returned after awhile and he sat close to the chute to watch every detail of the bull riding.

"Does he have a good draw?" I asked Emmett.

"Yeah, descent, it's a slinger, but he usually blows-up and comes to this side."

"If you don't want to tell me, just say so," I laughed and Emmett turned to look at me.

"Sorry, the bull will try to hit Edward with his head when he buckles down in the chute. He knows to watch for it. It is also known for running from the chute and coming to this side to buck, so we should get a pretty good look at the action, so cowboy up, Bella."

"Thanks," I said and tried to mentally prepare myself; at least it was what I thought Emmett was telling me to do.

Jacob rode before Edward and he looked so huge up close. His arms were bulging with muscle and his hair was braided down to the middle of his back. He had boyish features and smiled and laughed the entire time in the chute.

Emmett watched everything the kid did with fascination. The gate opened and the bull began bucking immediately. When he went into a spin Jacob seemed to lose his center of gravity and leaned badly but remained on the bull.

Emmett smiled widely and seemed to relax a bit. Jake's score was only 80 and everyone complained about it being too high.

When Edward climbed onto the chute I began biting my manicured nails. Jasper wasn't there and I realized it didn't matter, since Emmett wasn't able to do anything if Edward got in trouble.

I inhaled loudly when the gate opened and the bull hit into the gate before heading to the side rails. Edward immediately pulled his feet up and grabbed the rails to get off the bull. "What happened," I asked.

Emmett leaned over to speak to Edward who was only a few feet from him on the rails. "Shit you're slow, go away hand if he's coming for the fence."

"I didn't know if they called the foul," Edward said angrily.

"You didn't feel the gate hit you in the ass?" Emmett asked.

"I didn't hear the horn, you fuc…. Hi mom," Edward smiled and jumped down from the railing.

"Hi, baby," she called down to him and we all laughed.

"I don't understand," I said to anyone willing to explain.

Esme volunteered and said, "The bull hit the gate, interfering with the cowboy's ability to ride, so he gets a re-ride."

We waited until the end of the first go round for Edward to get his re-ride. The bull tossed his head as soon as Edward lowered his weight and I laughed when Edward swatted the bull's massive head with his bare hand, but Emmett was not amused.

"Cut the shit, and cowboy up," he yelled and turned to his mother in anger. "He's going to do that some time when the chute opens and it will cost him."

I chuckled and Emmett gave me a questioning look. "I mean come on, Emmett, he's All Around cowboy, do you really think he would touch the bull with his free hand without thinking?"

He looked back at his brother in the chute and said, "He just makes me nervous sometimes."

I realized how nerve wracking it was for Emmett to watch his brother ride. He wanted him to be perfect so he wouldn't get hurt, and playing around with the bull made Emmett nervous that Edward's head wasn't in the game.

The gate opened and the bull ran to the open and began bucking hard. I saw the strain on Edward's body as he was tossed in all directions, jerking on his arm. When the horn sounded I watched him pull the rope with his free hand and the entire thing fell to the ground as Edward jumped off the bull.

It turned and lowered its head causing Edward to run for the railing and a bull fighter to intercept the bull's path. I realized I was gripping Esme's arm harshly and instantly apologized. Edward walked over to pick up his rope and looked at Emmett.

"Mid eighties," Emmett yelled and Edward nodded in agreement.

A score of 86 was flashed on the board and everyone cheered.

I stared at Edward as he walked from the arena, his hat low on his head and chaps riding low on his hips. His feet made a noise with each step due to his spurs and I realized he was right last summer when he told me I would want him badly after watching him ride. The next go round could not be over fast enough.

15

Edward and Jacob were only apart by one point going into the final go round to be held the next day. Edward didn't seem too stressed and was checking on Alice when I found him. Esme walked up to hug her distraught daughter and I remained back to give them some time alone. Edward talked to Jasper for a few moments and then nodded for me to join him as headed to his trailer.

I purposefully stayed behind him to watch him walk and he glanced back at me knowingly. I laughed and reached out to swat him, but he spun around and grabbed my arm. "Don't treat me like a piece of meat," he teased.

"Don't act like you hate it," I challenged him.

"Want to try them on?" he asked.

"Try what on?"

"My chaps," he said and smiled at my expression.

I moved in close so I could speak without anyone hearing me and said, "You have no idea how badly I want you right now."

"Not half as much as I want you, but I think we should talk first," he said with a worried look.

"You better be joking, I am panting right now and not able to focus on conversation," I admitted to him.

"Are you here just for sex?" he asked me outright.

I stuttered a bit and felt my face redden. "I didn't come here only for that," I said as I looked at the floor.

"I came to your show because I wanted to see you succeeding in your dream. Is that why you came here?"

I could tell he was trying to understand why I was here so he knew how to respond. But I wasn't even sure why I was here; I just knew I needed to come.

I looked at his face, so full of hope, and it bolstered me. "You called my father," I said nervously.

He took a deep breath and spoke quickly, "Yeah, I jumped the gun. I loved having you at my home, and I assumed you loved it, too. I'm sorry."

"I came because I miss you, and you make me happy. I love you, Edward, I just don't know if I can give up my dreams for you."

His eyes shot open wide and he said, "I never asked you to give up your dreams."

"I know, because we never got that far. Our lives pull us in different directions and they are never going to mesh."

"Yet, here you are," he pointed out and I smiled at him.

"Yes, here I am."

"My life is pulling me in the direction of a shower, do you think you might be able to join me in that direction?" he said with a sexy grin.

"I think you are going to need a lot of help with that shower, so I better give you a hand," I smiled.

"Just a hand?" he frowned.

I shrugged at him and said, "We'll start with a hand and see what happens."

He began heading to the shower when a knock sounded on his trailer door. He opened it to see Emmett excitedly jumping up and down. "You've got to come see what I have," he said with joy.

"Give me an hour," Edward said and tossed his head toward me.

"This can't wait an hour. You have to come now."

"I smell like shit, Emmett."

"You always smell like shit, come on," Emmett demanded.

Edward looked at me with frustration and I stepped forward to intercede. "Edward, jump in a quick shower and I will meet you at Emmett's trailer."

"Life sucks" Edward yelled at me as I headed off with Emmett.

"So what is so important you have to cockblock me for?" I asked him.

"I have to video of a lifetime," he laughed loudly and I froze in my steps. He kept walking and looked back to see if I was coming.

"It's not of Edward trying to tame the one eyed monster, don't worry."

"You are a sick man Emmett Cullen," I said as I caught up to him.

We entered the trailer and Jasper and Carlisle were sitting in front of a computer. I knew it had to be big to pull them away from Alice's problem. I looked at the screen nervously but all I could see was someone riding a bull.

Emmett got everyone a beer and it was less than five minutes later when Edward walked in. "I hope you washed your balls," Emmett teased.

"I figured you would just lick em clean later," Edward said to his brother and Emmett turned to me.

"He was talking to you, not me," I told Emmett, making everyone laugh.

"Feast your eyes on a fucking miracle," Emmett said to Edward and pointed at the computer.

Edward looked at the screen, then back at Emmett, and then back at the screen. "Where did you get that?" he asked. I thought I heard his voice shaking and I still had no idea what we were looking at.

"Some ass wipe loaded it. I downloaded immediately and got it all but about the last two minutes. They took it off really quickly," Emmett said with his whole body moving in joy.

"What is it?" I asked and Edward turned to look at me but he eyes never made it to my face. He was drawn back to the screen.

"Did you see that?" Edward yelled as he moved closer.

"You can counter that by where you plant your spurs," Jasper added.

I was effectively ignored for the better part of an hour and finally left the trailer to find Esme to see if she knew what was going on. I finally ended up back in Edward's trailer. I picked up the clothes he had quickly dropped on the bathroom floor.

His drawers were still open from pulling clean clothes so quickly, so I refolded some things and put them back into the drawers. I saw a box in the top drawer and pulled it out to look at it. I opened the box and gasped at the sight of a large diamond ring. I stared at it in shock and then quickly placed it back in the drawer.

I left his room and went back to the main area of the trailer as I tried to calm down. I lay on the couch trying to think when Rosalie walked in. "Have you see Emmett?" she asked.

"He was in your trailer with all the guys," I told her.

"Well, it's empty now," she told me.

"Do you know what's going on, Rosalie?" I asked her. "They were all watching a video of some bull ride."

"I don't have a clue, I wonder where they went," she said and began to leave.

"Can I ask you some questions?" I said bringing her back into the trailer.

She sat down across from me and waited for me to talk.

"How did you meet Emmett?" I asked.

"I was dating a friend of Emmett's and one night the guy got drunk and beat me up. Emmett showed up at my door and told me he would never hurt me and if I would give him a chance he would love me forever. I've never been away from him since."

"Do you feel like you gave up your dreams to marry him?"

"Marrying him was my dream," she said in her no nonsense way.

"Do you like living at the ranch?" I asked her.

"Emmett is a different person at home. He is calm and relaxed as if the world can't touch him. It is the only place on earth I would raise my child."

I finally asked the real question I wanted to know, "Do you think Edward and I could work?"

She shrugged and looked right into my eyes, "It depends on how much you love him."

I nodded and said very softly, "I love him a lot."

"It will work when you love him so much you don't feel like you're giving up anything, because you can't breathe if you're not with him," Rosalie said as she stood.

"Thanks," I said and watched her leave. I pulled a pillow into my arms and stretched out on the couch. I thought I would spend the evening at the dance or in Edward's bed. I had no idea I would spend it alone wondering where Edward was.

I eventually fell asleep and woke up to someone kissing me lightly. "Jacob Black, is that you," I moaned like I was still asleep.

"I'll be back, I have to go commit murder," Edward said and I quickly grabbed his shirt.

"I missed you all night," I said sadly.

"I'm sorry, I owe you big time, so name your price," he said as he kissed my fingers.

I looked into his eyes and smiled, "If you need me to go Edward, I understand."

He shook his head and said, "Please stay."

"I'll stay if you remove your shirt," I whispered and watched his eyes darken a bit. He began unbuttoning his shirt and I watched his long fingers move expertly across the fabric. "Hum…the boots need to go, too."

He stood and removed each boot along with his socks and I gave him a look of pity, "Sorry, but the pants have to go, also."

He removed his jeans and stood only in his boxers, so I held my hand out for him. He took it and pulled me off the couch before running his hands down my body. "Tell me how you want me, Bella," he said into my ear.

I let my head fall back and he kissed my exposed neck sensuously until I moaned from pleasure. "Tell me," he said again.

"Make me scream," I said completely out of my mind from his kisses.

He picked me up off the floor into his arms and carried me into the bedroom. He was so tender and moved slowly as he made me scream his name twice. My entire body was shaking as he enveloped me in his arms and said, "Do you feel my love for you?"

"God, yes," I told him.

"I'm so glad you came," he said into my hair.

"I don't know if I will be able to leave," I admitted.

"That's my next wish," he whispered.

"What were you doing tonight, that took you from my arms?" I asked him.

"Someone posted a training session with Diablo."

My heart froze and I pulled back to look at him. "But you're ahead, why would you ride him?"

"I'm not ahead enough to guarantee a win. If Black rides him I would automatically lose."

"Did you learn a way to ride him?" I asked.

He smiled widely and shook his head. "I think I did."

"Without having to suicide wrap?"

"I never do that," he said and I smacked him.

"Is Emmett going to be there?"

"He wants to be, but I don't need him," Edward said confidently. "Can you be there?"

I wanted to tell him it would be unprofessional to request a day off in December when we were already sold out, but I couldn't force myself to say it so I only shrugged and said I would look into it.

He finally asked the hard question, "So when do you have to leave?"

"I have to leave before noon," I said sadly.

He didn't respond and I kissed his bare chest. We lay there in silence and I eventually heard him lightly snoring. I dreaded going back to New York City, and knew I would miss him every night as I lay alone in my bed. I thought about what Rosalie said and how I would know it would work when I didn't feel I was giving up anything. I wondered if I was getting close to that place.

I woke up the next morning to the feel of Edward making rapid jerking movements. I looked at his face to see he was still asleep and laughed at how he even rode in his sleep. I took a piece of my hair and ran it across his lips causing him to react automatically by throwing his arm in front of his face, hitting me right in the nose.

"Ah, shit," I yelled as I grabbed my bloody noise with both hands.

Edward jumped up and stared at me in shock.

"You hit me," I yelled.

"Oh, God, I didn't mean to," he said as he grabbed a towel and leaned my head back.

"It hurts," I cried and he pulled my hands away to look at my nose.

"It doesn't appear to be broken. Let me get some ice." He rushed from the room and came back with an icepack from a first aid kit.

"Does it look bad?" I asked him.

"Um…can they add a prison fight into the show?"

"Damn it, I'm going to be fired," I cried louder.

Edward remained quiet and I glared at him. "Sorry, but my wishes seem to be coming true," he laughed.

I stayed on the bed until the bleeding stopped and I finally got up to look at my nose in the mirror. It had a huge swollen bump on the bridge and one eye looked like it was going to turn black. "Edward, look at my face," I yelled at him.

"I think your still beautiful," he said to really anger me.

"I can hardly breathe," I said being overdramatic.

"You just have blood coagulating, grab some tissue and blow it out," he instructed, obviously a pro at bloody noses.

"That's disgusting," I said with a nasal voice.

"Either that or it's going down your throat," he said with a smirk.

I began to cry and Edward held me gently, "Come on, love, blow in this," he said holding some tissue.

"I'm afraid," I said truthfully.

"It's not going to hurt, come on," he pushed.

I blew and felt a blood clot leave my nose as I shivered from disgust. Edward didn't flinch at all and quickly brought more tissue to my nose. "Okay, we're going to have to do this all over again in a couple of minutes."

My eyes got wide and he kissed my forehead, "It's normal, Bella."

After half an hour of blowing and clotting it stopped and I stared at my ugly face in the mirror. "I wanted to have crazy sex before I had to go, not have you wipe my nose like a child."

"Come here," he said with a chuckle and led me back to the bed.

He sat against the headboard and pulled me to sit between his legs with my back against his chest. He ran his fingers down my arms and I instantly relaxed. He leaned over to kiss my shoulder and began speaking softly.

"The first time I laid eyes on you I thought you were so beautiful. You were mad as hell and when I sat in the booth I thought you were going to castrate me." His hands moved across my stomach and up my shirt.

"I had no idea who you were and I was shocked you didn't know who I was." One hand moved to my thigh and slid inward causing me to gasp.

"I couldn't wait to see you at the arena and tease you a bit." His fingers were moving slowly and deliberately and I had a hard time keeping my legs still.

"When I danced with you and got to hold you in my arms, I could feel your warm body against mine." I gasped again and cried out from what he was doing to my body.

"And when I came to the hotel and heard you scream for me, I knew what love was." I panted loudly as my body moved in his arms, building to a place where I couldn't think clearly.

"Edward," I yelled.

"Scream for me, Bella."

I arched back as my body screamed for him and he tightened his hold on me as he buried his face in my hair. I collapsed in his arms and struggled to catch my breath as he said softly in my hair, "I love you."

I began to cry, overwhelmed by my love for him. "Edward," I said with certainty, "I'm not going back."

He froze and acted like he was afraid he was dreaming. "Bella, are you sure?"

"I've never been so sure," I told him. "I love to sing and I can always be happy singing. I don't want all the fake stuff in my life anymore, I want what is real, and that is you."

"I know I can make you happy," he said with confidence. "I will work my ass off to make sure you are happy."

I turned around and faced him, sitting on my knees. He was smiling and had tears in his eyes. "Edward, I want to marry you."

"Are you asking me?" he laughed loudly.

"Yeah, I am."


	6. Chapter 16 thru 18

16

I watched as his mind was working something out. He glanced at his dresser and then glared at me. "You looked in my drawer, didn't you?"

"No," I tried to lie but he gave me a sideways look and I caved. "Yes, I did, but that is not why I'm asking you."

"Because you're afraid I'll hit you again?" he teased.

"Actually, I'm hoping you will do what you just did again," I said with a wink and he leaned up to kiss me.

"Go get it," he said nodding to the dresser.

I jumped off the bed and ran to the drawer and brought the box to him. "When did you get it?"

"On my way to your house," he smiled.

"And what made you change your mind?" I asked wondering if it was my bed or maybe his shoes.

He looked uncomfortable and finally said, "You said you didn't want to marry anyone."

"Edward, I was speaking in generalities. I didn't know you were asking."

"I said, 'marry me' and you said, 'I don't plan on marrying anyone' and I asked, 'you don't plan on ever marrying me' and you said…"

"Okay, okay, stop with the photographic memory."

"What made you change your mind?" he asked with a serious face.

I let my eyes fall and tried to explain it the best I could.

"Barton's in Florida and they wanted me to show up, and then I found out Eric's in love with an actor, and the producers want him to keep it quiet. I'm tired of love being a game. I want something real, like Rosalie has."

I glanced at him to see if I was making any sense at all. He was nodding like he understood so I continued on.

"But it is not why I want to marry you specifically. I love that you make me feel safe, and you are polite and generous. I love that you can ride a vicious bull and then make love so tenderly. I love that you can take care of my bloody nose and then bring my body alive in your arms. I don't deserve you Edward, but I want you."

He took my hands in his and looked into my eyes, "I love you, more than I know how to express but I saw you on that stage and you have talent. You can't just walk away from that kind of talent. I won't let you."

"Edward, I don…"

"Shhh, we'll go to New York together and you can make arrangements for someone else to take over the show. You can give them a three weeks notice and I'll be working on finals. When we're both done, we'll get married and see where life takes us from there."

"That simple?" I asked hoping it would actually turn out to be exactly that.

"No, it will be the longest three weeks of my life."

"Okay," I nodded and looked at the box he was holding in his hand.

He smiled and climbed off the bed and got on his knee to open the box, "Bella Swan, will you marry me?"

"My full name is Isabella," I told him and he groaned loudly.

"Isabella Swan, will you marry me?"

"Absolutely, since I was the one to really ask."

Edward slammed the box shut and I yelled out in protest. He finally opened the box and took the ring out and placed it on my finger. I stared at the beautiful ring and watched the diamond glisten in the light as Edward watched me.

"You're going to have quite the shiner," he said looking closely at my eye.

"I don't care, it was worth it," I said and finally looked at Edward.

Someone knocked on his trailer door and he grabbed his jeans and walked alone to answer it. I could hear him talking to Jasper, but I didn't know what they were saying. I lay back on the pillows and raised my hand in the air to stare at the ring. I looked up to see Alice staring at me with swollen eyes.

I sat up and she walked over to the bed and grabbed my hand to look at the ring. "I'm glad you're marrying my brother."

"Thank you," I said softly. "Are you okay?"

She nodded and more tears began to fall. "Georgia died."

"I'm sorry Alice."

She took a deep breath and sat on the edge of the bed. "You must think I'm crazy," she said.

"Not at all, I understand better now."

Her eyes narrowed and she gave me an odd look, "What happened to your nose?" she asked.

"Is it noticeable?" I asked with dread. I could only imagine what Mike was going to say.

"You're going to have a black eye, and your nose is really swollen," she answered honestly.

"Great," I mumbled. "I learned not to startle Edward in his sleep."

Alice smiled, just slightly, and it felt better to see her not so distraught. She was usually so happy all the time and I knew how much she must miss Georgia. I wondered what was going to be done with the deceased horse, but I didn't want to make her cry again by asking.

We sat silently for a moment. Alice looked at the door and then leaned closer to whisper to me, "I don't like Sarsaparilla."

I felt my brow furrow and wondered what would make happy go lucky Alice not like her horse. He was very big and looked mean, but all horses looked that way to me. I finally said, "Can't you sell him or something?"

"No, I mean the drink; I don't like it, so I hate that name."

"Can't you change the name?"

"No, he's registered and his name was chosen by the breeder," she said with a sigh.

"So what, you can call him whatever you want," I pointed out.

"No, Jasper is a stickler for that sort of thing. I think it is because he has to keep meticulous veterinary records."

"Alice," I said sharply, "It is your horse; you can call him Bitch if you want. Why does Jasper get a say in what you call your horse?"

"Because I love his persnickety ass, and I never want to give him a moment of angst," she said with a sigh and I stared at her in disbelief. Surely she was teasing me. I had a hard time believing tough as nails Alice wanted to keep her man from ever being unhappy with her. It seemed so…antiquated.

"Is Jasper controlling?" I asked her, although I had never seen any evidence of that kind of behavior.

"No, not at all," she said as she gave me an odd look.

"Why are you guys not married yet?" I asked with curiosity.

She smiled and looked at her hands shyly causing me to smile too. "I want to stay home and have babies when I get married. I want a lot of kids, like maybe six."

I gasped and made a really weird chuckle as I shook my head. I had no idea what to say. These people were not only from another generation than me, but also from a totally different planet. I couldn't imagine living with Edward and having to call all six of my children by their full names.

Alice looked at the door again and walked over quietly and shut it. She came back to the bed and sat closer to me this time. I leaned in to hear what she obviously wanted to keep quiet and she hesitated, like she wasn't sure she should say something.

"What is it, Alice?"

"Bella, I love my brothers very much. They are so brave and so tenacious, but sometimes they don't think things through enough."

I tensed and felt she was going to ask me to leave her brother alone and let him marry someone capable of fitting into the family better.

"They never ask my advice, although they give me theirs easily enough," she complained and I chuckled.

Alice looked me right in the eyes and said, "Don't let Edward ride Diablo."

"He thinks he found a way to ride him," I told her.

"He won't know until he actually tries. If he gets thrown, he'll suicide wrap. Emmett knows it too; it is why he is working so hard to be at finals. He knows he needs to protect Edward."

"There is nothing I can do," I told her honestly.

Her head fell and she refused to look at me as she said, "If you refuse to marry him, if he suicide wraps, I bet he would listen."

I couldn't believe what she was suggesting. She wanted me to threaten him into not choosing Diablo. I didn't know what to say and I sat quietly, trying to process everything.

"I don't want my brother to die," she said softly.

"He's wrapped before," I pointed out.

"Diablo has never been ridden, ever, and he has still managed to hurt many cowboys. He put one in a wheelchair and the cowboy wasn't even in the ring, Diablo was only being loaded into a chute."

I felt tears stinging my eyes and I nodded with understanding. "I'll try, Alice."

"Thank you," she said and reached over to hug me before leaving the room. "Jasper," she yelled, "Bella told me to call Sarsaparilla, Bitch."

"Tattle tale," I screamed.

I waited for several minutes until Edward returned and I tried to smile but it wouldn't form fully. He walked over and looked down at me as he winced at my face. "It's getting bad; we need to get ice on your nose."

I reached out for his hand and held it tightly. "Are you worried about riding today?"

He smiled and ran his finger under my chin, "It's not my first rodeo."

"Will you promise me you'll be careful?"

"I'm always careful, love."

We took a shower together and Edward left to strategize with Emmett and Carlisle. I took a picture of my face and then put on make-up as carefully as possible. I looked in the mirror at my hideous reflection and sighed loudly. I decided to get it over with. I took a second picture with make-up and then sent them to Mike.

My phone rang instantly and I took a deep breath.

"What in the hell happened to your face?" he demanded.

"I had an accident," I said without further explanation.

"Were you at fault?" he asked and I realize he thought it was a car accident.

"No, and the police were not called, something flew out of nowhere," I said as I imagined Edward's arm flying at my face.

"Well, you can't perform looking like that," he said adamantly. "Let me call the producers and see what I can do."

"Mike," I said softly. "I really need a break; can you get me cleared until after Christmas?"

The line was silent and I began to cry. "If I don't get some time off, I'm going to quit," I told him. It wasn't just the stress of the show, but now I was so worried about Edward. If his sister, who lived in this world was worried, I should be hysterical.

"You'll have to work like hell to rebuild your reputation," he said angrily.

"I know," I said as I rubbed my forehead.

"You've had a busy year," he relented and I suddenly liked Mike so much more. "I'll work it out."

I felt like I was being less than honest with Edward, by letting him think I was quitting for good, and Mike, by letting him think I was only taking a short break, but I needed time to work everything out in my head. I hated the fact I wanted to salvage something from my career if Edward ended up getting killed, but I had to face the idea it was a very real possibility.

I put on my jeans and found a shirt of Edward's I could tie up. I went to find the family and saw Tanya standing by the horses. I passed her and held up my hand, pointing to my ring and then lowering all my fingers except the middle one. Her face was priceless.

When Esme opened her trailer door she gasped at the sight of my face. "Oh honey, what happened to you?"

"Oh, I had to beat down a few rodeo queens to get this." I held up my hand and she looked at my ring in shock.

She laughed loudly and pulled me into the trailer and gave me a tight hug. "I need to inform you, us queens never fight," she said as she pretended to check her hair.

"I need to inform you, your son did this to me."

Now her face truly showed shock and she brought her hands to her mouth, ready to cry. I grabbed her wrist and laughed to the point it hurt my poor nose.

"I tickled his face when he was asleep, he responded by throwing his arm," I explained.

"Are you in pain?" she asked with concern.

"No, I actually feel very…Cullen," I laughed and she nodded in understanding.

"I'm glad you're here, Alice and Jasper are leaving to beat the truck with Georgia home."

"He's being taken to California?" I asked.

"Yes, we hired a refrigerated truck to carry his body. We'll bury him at the ranch."

I nodded and she locked her arm in mine and led me to the arena. We watched the various finals and the crowd really missed Alice. It was announced that Georgia died and so many fans were in tears. By the time Edward came out to ride my nose was really hurting.

It was my engagement day, and I looked hideous.

Edward said something to the cowboys around the chute and they all broke into laughter. Emmett screamed, "Focus," and Edward raised his middle finger to him. The gate opened and the bull sprang from the chute and began to spin furiously. Edward stayed centered and kept his free hand high, the bull suddenly turned the other way and jump as he kicked, but Edward rocked back and then forward in opposition with the bulls movements.

When the buzzer rang the entire stadium stood to scream for him. I was so proud of how hard he worked to go into finals with the number one seed. I could tell he was proud of himself, too. He stood in the arena and tipped his hat to the crowd before pumping his arm into the air in victory.

Emmett jumped over the railing and ran to his brother, picking him up around the hips and jostling him as Edward held his hands high. The standing ovation continued until both men walked arm in arm into the alley.

Esme, Rosalie, and I were all crying like the girls we were and headed quickly to the back of the arena. I saw Edward talking with Jacob and waited for them to finish before running at him with full speed. He caught me in his arms and swung me around in a circle.

I kissed him hard, and it brought tears to my eyes because of the pain, but I didn't care. Someone handed him a bottle of champagne and he took a long drink before handing it to me. I took a sip and he laughed and kissed me again.

Emmett patted him on the back and I let him go so his mother could love on him a bit. I heard Emmett say, "Let's get home and get to work."

"I have to take Bella to New York," Edward said and I quickly spoke up.

"No, Edward, I talked to Mike, I'm going with you," I laughed and he grabbed me into his arms again.

"I feel like I'm on top of the world," he said to me. "Diablo will be nothing."

I let my eyes fall, not wanting to spoil his celebration. I would bring up the subject when he was home and had time to really think about it.

I headed back to my hotel to get my things and made arrangements for my stuff in New York City to be packed and sent to my house. Edward picked me up in his truck and I jumped in and sat next to him as I laughed from the pure joy I was feeling.

"We have to celebrate," I said.

"I know the perfect way," he said with a less than excited face.

I laughed until I saw his mood didn't match my exuberance and nodded, "Just tell me and I'll do it."

"Let's go to Niagara Falls and get married."

17

I moved away from him as I stared in shock. I saw how and he turned his face away from me and I wasn't sure how to start with what I wanted to say. I was terrified he was going to pull over and ask me to get out of his truck if it came out wrong. He finally started it for me.

"I guess you're not really ready."

"It isn't that I don't want to marry you, Edward, I just don't want to do it because we are overly excited right now. I mean, my father would freak if he couldn't walk me down the aisle and …"

"Yeah, okay," he said to cut me off.

He drove with his elbow on the door frame, sitting far from me and without speaking. I stared at him, hoping he would at least look at me, but he only watched the road. I blew out a long breath of air and said, "Edward, this is going to be a long ride if you don't speak to me."

"I'm driving to Indianapolis and we're flying home from there," he said without explanation.

I nodded and bit on my lip as I fought back my tears. This was not the reunion I was expecting it to be and I felt like I was intruding on his life. I stared into the black night as we got further and further from the city.

When we pulled over to get gas I got out and headed into the convenience store. I made us both a cup of coffee and when he walked inside I called out to him, "Anything you want to eat, or is coffee fine?"

His jaw tightened and he said, "Don't worry about it, I'll get it," and he headed into the restroom.

I was furious now. I was so angry that just because I wouldn't run off to elope he was treating me this way. I sat the coffee down and walked angrily after him. I pushed open the bathroom door and walked in. He was standing at a urinal and his eyes grew wide when he saw me.

"What the hell, Bella, I'm taking a piss."

"I'm not traveling with you if you don't start acting like a grown ass man. I want a wedding, a real wedding," I screamed.

"You sure about that, because according to the radio, you are healing from a car accident and anxious to get back to work in January?"

I hesitated for just a moment and he saw it. He zipped up his pants and walked over to wash his hands as he said, "Never mind."

"No, we're going to do this right here and right now. I asked Mike to get me cleared until after Christmas…."

"Well, at least you plan on spending Christmas with me," he yelled loudly.

"Shut up," I screamed at him. "I'm speaking, so shut up and listen."

"You're really going to play diva with me?" He yelled absolutely incredulous. "I'm Edward Cullen and you're on my turf right now."

My eyes glanced around the room and my rage faded as laughter took its place. If he wanted a men's room to be his turf, he could have at it. He finally relaxed and chuckled as he said, "Well, you know what I mean."

"I don't want you to ride Diablo," I said with a soft voice.

His face changed from anger to a hurt expression and I knew he thought I didn't have faith in him. I wanted to go hug him and tell him it would all work out, but I was scared too, so I admitted my reasoning behind my actions.

"Edward, if you die in three weeks I need to have a career to go back to. If you can promise me you won't ride Diablo I'll tell Mike I am finished with everything."

"You don't understand," he said with a pleading voice.

"You're right, I don't understand. You can win without putting yourself at so much risk. Jacob doesn't have the video so if he chooses Diablo, you win. If he doesn't and you compete head on, you win. Why take the risk?"

"I can ride him Bella, I know I can. I have the skill and I can't choose the easier route and feel good about it."

"Are you sure your ego isn't making the decision. You don't know anything until you sit down in that chute. What if you're wrong?"

"If I'm wrong, I lose," he said with a shrug and I wished I didn't know better than to believe him.

"If you're wrong you will use the suicide wrap," I said as I watched his eyes for a reaction. He didn't try to deny it. He knew I would see it if he lied to me. He continued to stare without any reaction whatsoever.

"Edward, what if Emmett gets killed this time? Can you live with that?"

"He won't," he said adamantly.

"You're going to risk your brother's life because you say so?"

"I'm not letting Jasper come," he said and I had to think what he could possibly mean by that. It finally dawned on me, Jasper wouldn't be able to warn the family and Emmett would stay back until the end of the ride.

I stood there growing angry. He was heading right toward his own death and kept making excuse after excuse. But the thing that angered me the most was the fact he truly expected me to marry him and then watch my husband die.

The door opened and a truck driver gave me a stunned look and then glanced back at the wording on the door. I apologized and headed out of the men's room to retrieve the coffee. Edward paid after throwing some chips and donuts onto the counter.

We got in the truck and I finally asked about Indianapolis.

"I'm meeting a rope maker; he's got some custom stuff to show me. Someone will meet us at the airport and drive my truck home. I have a lot of work to do and can't spend time on the road," he explained.

'Yeah, preparing for your death must be time consuming," I mumbled as I looked at the window.

He sighed loudly and I noticed how his knuckles tightened around the steering wheel.

My cell phone rang and I looked to see my parents calling and groaned loudly.

"Should I answer?" I asked Edward.

He shrugged and said, "Are you ashamed to be with me?"

I angrily answered to show him he was wrong. I had no idea what I was going to tell them, but I was too mad to think about it. "Hello, I don't want to hear it," I yelled into the receiver.

"You were in a car accident and didn't tell us?" my mom yelled back.

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. It is just a story to get me some time off," I tried to play it off.

"Are you coming home?" she asked.

"No, I'm spending time with Edward," I admitted and heard only silence on the line.

Edward stuck out his hand and said, "Let me talk."

I looked at him like he had just threatened my life and scooted further away, shaking my head.

"Bella, give me the phone as you check out the date on your driver's license," he said angrily.

I knew he was calling me a baby so I threw it at him. It bounced off his door and landed in Edward's lap. He grabbed it in his hand and pulled over, slamming his breaks and sending me flying forward against the harness of my seatbelt.

"Hello," he said into the phone as he tried to calm down.

"Hi, Mrs. Swan. May I call you right back? Thank you."

We both sat quietly in the truck for several moments, wondering what was happening to make everything begin so badly. Edward finally turned to look at me and said, "Bella, I want you to be my wife, and the mother of my children. Do you really think I plan on dying?"

"Edward, I'm not happy without you. I need to know if I give up my career you'll be there."

"I'm not asking you to give it up…totally. But I want you to be honest with me, so I don't have to get news about my fiancé from the radio."

"That is exactly what I am trying to get you to understand, it is all fake. Don't believe anything you hear about me from the radio or magazines."

"Here's what I want from you," he said turning to look into my eyes. "I want you to invite your parents to Blue Lake, so I can meet them. I want you to pick a date for our wedding and start looking at schematics for a house I want to have built for you."

"A house?" I asked in surprise.

"Yes, we all have our own land on the ranch. Emmett and Rose just moved into theirs."

I felt tears forming and I tried to smile, but only sobs broke through. Edward misunderstood and thought I was wanting out of the deal. His head dropped and his shoulders slumped. I unhooked my belt and scooted over to him and placed my hand on his cheek. "Edward, I look awful and you still want me. I love you so much."

He pulled me into his arms and kissed me softly. It didn't progress into deeper kisses. He kept it sweet and tender. I leaned my head on his shoulder and he started the truck and got back onto the road.

"Is Valentine's Day too pretentious?" I asked him softly.

"Can I wear boots?" he asked hesitantly.

"I planned on dressing you like Cupid, you would look hot in a diaper," I teased.

"Fine, but just so you know, I'm pretty descent with a bow and I will shoot your ass."

"Of course you are, cowboy," I said with a chuckle. "Now the biggest issue of all…which bed do we keep?"

"Oh hell no," he said quickly and I laughed hard.

"My mother will want me to wear her wedding dress," I said sadly.

"Bella, why wouldn't you want to wear her dress? I think it is a great idea."

"Um…no way, I have taste," I said as I shook my head. "The dress looks like she was channeling Cinderella. I want a sleek, simple gown, without all the beading and lace. I know just the designer."

"But I can wear my boots, right?" he asked again and I knew he was actually worried about it.

"Boots and socks, I promise."

He smiled widely and nodded with appreciation. I called my parents and invited them to the Ranch the following weekend and they surprised me by quickly accepting. Edward drove through the night and we arrived at our destination the next morning.

I was too tired to concentrate on what the men were talking about and caught phrases like, offset center, Brazilian rope, rounded lace, and an awful lot of talk about hand packing. When Edward finally got back into the truck he asked about an old mare named Pepper.

"My brother still has her in Wyoming," the man said.

"Do you think he would be willing to give her up for a price?" Edward asked and I wondered if he was getting the horse for Alice.

"I'll let you know," the man smiled and Edward shook his hand.

By the time we got on the flight to L.A. I was beyond tired and fell asleep before the plane even took off. It seemed like only moments passed before we landed. I was surprised nobody stopped me for an autograph and knew I looked different with a swollen nose and a black eye, but that usually never stopped the tabloids from hovering like vultures.

We caught a cab and headed to my house. I dropped one of Edward's bags in the foyer and headed straight to my bed. He crawled up behind me and we slept from five that evening until the next morning.

I woke up and put on some coffee before starting a shower. Edward jumped in and smiled at me, "Man, you look like someone beat the shit out of you."

"Thanks, you say such romantic things," I complained.

"We need to hurry, I want to get to Blue Lake as fast as we can," he said as he quickly shampooed his hair.

"So, I should bend over and hold onto the wall?" I asked and his hands froze in his hair.

"I'm only teasing," I said and smacked him in the stomach.

"I didn't know if I should apologize or turn you around," he admitted and I smiled at him.

"I need to pack some stuff. I have my shit all over America and I'm not sure what is where," I said as I shampooed my own hair.

"Okay, no sex, we have to hurry. I'll fix you something to eat while you pack," he said and grabbed a towel.

"You're going to cook? Are you sure it won't cost you some of your nuts or guts?"

"I plan on making sausage and bacon," he laughed and I glared at him.

I was dressed in only underwear and a t shirt as I packed some clothes and the doorbell rang. I looked through the peep hole to see Eric standing there waving at me. I opened the door as I headed to my bedroom to finish dressing.

Eric followed me and stood in the doorway. "Why didn't you tell me you were home?"

"I got in yesterday and went right to bed. I'm leaving again today," I announced.

"Well, this is Ben," Eric said and I spun around to see someone standing behind Eric.

"God, I'm so sorry," I said to the young man smiling at me. "I didn't see you, nice to meet you, Ben."

"Eric talks about you constantly," he said with a shy smile.

"Don't believe a word of it, he can be such a bitch," I laughed.

Eric pulled Ben into my room and sat on my bed as he put his arms around Ben's waist and continued talking to me. "How was Thanksgiving?"

"Pretzels from a machine, how was yours?"

"Great, very vegan friendly."

Edward walked into the room and froze when he saw Ben and Eric. "Where were you?" I asked him.

"On the deck, I had a call," he said staring at the men on my bed and then turned to see me in my underwear. "Jesus, Bella, get dressed."

"Don't worry, Edward," Eric laughed, "We only want to know where she bought them, not how to get into them."

"Ben this is my fiancé, Edward."

"Your what?" Eric asked in stunned surprise.

Ben wasn't sure if he should hold out his hand or ignore Edward. I noticed how Edward totally ignored Ben and it angered me. I held out my hand to show Eric my ring as I looked in Edward's eyes. "Isn't it nice of Eric to bring Ben over to meet us?"

"I thought we were in a hurry," Edward said.

"Eric brought Ben over to meet us," I said through clenched teeth, "Isn't that nice?"

"Um..yeah, nice Eric," Edward said awkwardly. "Georgia's being buried tomorrow morning, we need to hurry."

I looked at Eric and said, "Edward's sister's horse died."

He smiled like I was making a joke and then looked back and forth between us, letting his smile fade. "You eat meat, but have a burial for a horse?" he asked in confusion.

"She loved her horse very much, Eric," I explained.

"Well, I love Ben enough to eat his meat," Eric laughed and wiggled his eyebrows at Ben. Edward turned and walked from the room without a word.

"Don't do that," I yelled at Eric. "You know he has trouble with this."

"That is what makes it so fun, I may just lay a juicy kiss on him," Eric said and Ben glared at him.

I could imagine the entire scene and I was terrified Eric would actually try it, just to see if Edward would react. He didn't understand in Edward's world you were guaranteed a reaction, and it would most likely be with his fists.

"He will beat the shit out of you, look at my face," I said.

"You had a car accident, I heard it on the radio," Eric said to dismiss me.

I didn't bother telling him anything different. It was better to only have one story floating around out there.

Eric stood and took hold of Ben's hand. "You'll be here for the Flame awards won't you?" he asked expecting me to instantly agree.

"No, I'll be in Vegas," I said without looking at him.

"Bella," he said and waited for me to look at him. "You'll be there, right?"

"I never planned on attending," I said and he glanced at the doorway telling me he knew Edward was responsible. He pulled Ben down the hallway heading for the front door. I ran after him, begging him to listen for a moment.

"You know this means a lot to me," he yelled. "You're here, why won't you come?"

"It is the national finals for Edward and …."

"Yeah, go with Edward, he's more important," Eric said and opened the car door for Ben.

I couldn't leave the foyer since I was still in just my underwear and there were paparazzi outside.

"Eric," I yelled, "Ben will be with you."

He gave me a sad look that almost broke my heart and said softly, "His handlers won't let him come. We can't have a gay man showing up to dancing award's show with another man, what would all the cowboys think?"

"Eric, I'm sorry, but this is big. I can't come."

He looked behind me to see Edward walk up and place his hand around my waist. "Yeah, I know. You have to pick and choose which event you don't belong at."

He got in his car and drove away as I stood in my foyer crying. Edward was smart enough to keep his mouth shut and I returned to my room to continue packing. He loaded cases into my car and brought me some granola to speed me along.

We finally got in my car for the long drive to Blue Lake when Edward turned and said, "Ben's um…kind of, pretty."

I knew how much effort it took for Edward to be complimentary of Ben and I smiled and bit my lip, keeping all the remarks I wanted to say to myself. Edward was trying, and that meant a lot.

18

We got to the ranch just in time for dinner. I made a plate of spaghetti and left the meatballs off, so Edward ate mine, too. Esme filled us in on the burial of Georgia and Edward informed me his truck, trailer and horse would be home the following day.

Rosalie and Emmett arrived home yesterday. Carlisle told Edward he was to call Emmett the moment he got home. Edward rolled his eyes and continued eating. We were finishing our baked apples when Emmett walked through the door.

"When did you get home?" Emmett yelled.

"Two days ago," Edward said with a serious tone.

"Did you stop in Indianapolis?" Emmett asked and Edward quickly stood and nodded for his brother to follow him to the arena. I sighed loudly and shook my head.

I noticed Esme watching me so I smiled and said, "Edward and I are thinking about a Valentine's Day wedding."

"That would be wonderful. Where do you plan to hold the ceremony?"

I shrugged, "Is there a place where stupid women marry much too handsome men?"

Esme laughed and patted my hand. "You are not stupid, but I agree my son is handsome," she laughed.

"Esme, are you okay with what he is planning?" I asked her boldly.

She took a moment to gather her thought and said, "Bella, the worst thing a man can imagine is dying doing something he hates. I never want my children to die, but that hope is ridiculous. I can only hope they find their passion in life, and die without any regrets. If Edward doesn't ride Diablo, he will be eaten away with regret."

"Can't he ride him next year?"

"No, Diablo is being retired, and there is a lot of monetary motivation for him to retire un-ridden."

"Do you believe he can do it?" I asked her and watched her eyes for any deceit.

"I believe he will do everything he can to have a successful ride, and if he fails I believe Emmett will doing everything he can to keep him safe."

"He told me he's not allowing Jasper to come," I told her and watched her face react with concern.

"Bullshit," Jasper said from the doorway. "I'm going to be there whether he wants me there, or not."

I was terrified I betrayed Edward by letting Jasper know what he said and excused myself to go to our room. I unpacked some of my clothes and fell asleep without seeing Edward again the rest of the night.

I woke up to the next morning to find Edward snoring next to me, lying on his stomach. It seemed like ages since we made love and I was determined to keep him in the bed no matter what it took. I climbed over to straddle his body and kissed my way up his back.

"Jacob Black, is that you?" he said with a muffled voice.

"Edward, a gay reference, I'm so proud of you," I teased.

He turned over to show me how aroused he was and I smiled widely. "I'm very, very proud of you."

"What time is it?" he asked and I shook my head back and forth.

"You are not leaving this bed until you make me forget my name," I said as a challenge.

He looked over his head and smiled. "Let me show you why it is so vital to have a headboard, grab hold of it."

I watched as he put his hat on and winked before heading out the door. I was lying almost comatose on the bed, unable to move, let alone remember my name. I stared up at the ceiling with a stupid smile on my face and completely in love with Edward.

I didn't attend the burial of Georgia. I didn't feel right intruding on Alice's grief when I was so happy, and I was terrified of seeing a dead horse. I expected Edward to come back to see me, but by nightfall I hadn't seen him yet. I felt ignored and a bit useless. When he finally showed up I pretended I was asleep and ignored him when he climbed into bed.

This went on for three days.

The following morning I heard Edward sneak out of our room and I began to cry. I knew he was focused on finals, but I felt like he was taking me for granted. I walked away from everything for him, but he treated me like a possession he could set in a corner until he needed it.

I heard the door open again and I turned my face away from the door. Edward kneeled on the floor against the bed and called out my name. I refused to answer.

"Bella, are you mad?" he asked in surprise.

I shook my head but didn't speak.

"Come on, love, let me see your beautiful face."

I turned over and he was shocked to see me crying. "What's wrong?"

"I miss you," I said softly.

He looked confused so I explained. "I don't see you all day. I know you're busy but I have nothing to do."

"I thought you were planning our wedding?"

"I can't do that alone, you have to be in on the decisions."

"I don't care what you plan, as long as you are happy."

"So, we can get married at the Liberace museum with cross-dressing bridesmaids?

"Sweetheart, of course we….can't."

I laughed and held my arms out for him. He pulled me into his arms and whispered into my ear. "I have a surprise for you."

"It better have carats, because if you are only here for sex I'm going to hurt you."

"Get dressed and come outside," he said.

"Wait," I complained. "I mean, if you are here for sex, it would be okay."

"I have something for you outside. And I promise you get my undivided attention tomorrow," he said pulling on my arm.

"Great, the day my parents are here I get your undivided attention," I said as I began getting dressed.

"Meet me out back, and hurry," he said as he ran from the room. I dressed quickly and pulled my hair into a ponytail before heading to the back deck. I was shocked to see the entire family waiting and looked at Edward with apprehension.

"Bella, welcome to the family," he said and pointed over by the horse trough. A white horse was tied to the railing with a huge red bow on the saddle.

My heart dropped into my stomach and I shook my head back and forth. Edward grabbed my hands and leaned over to look directly into my eyes. "Bella, she is so gentle, and I don't think she is even capable of running. Her name is Pepper, she's a Tennessee Walker, and very old. She was used for handicapped children to ride."

I felt tears fill my eyes in humiliation and said very softly, "I'm not handicapped."

He laughed loudly and pulled me against his chest. "I'm not calling you handicapped; only the gentlest horses are used for that purpose, that's all I meant."

I leaned around him to look at the horse and still felt terrified. Rosalie stepped forward and put her arm around me, "Bella, I am not allowed to ride because I am too far along. If I ride her will you feel better?"

"I don't want to endanger your baby," I told her, but the fact she offered did make me feel better.

"Come on, Bella, it's not like she's a real horse, a rocking horse could hurt you before that bag of glue could," Emmett laughed.

I walked over to her hesitantly and she turned her head, watching my every move. Edward held onto the harness as I reached my hand out to pet her. He pulled a carrot from his pocket and said, "Here, it has carrots," he laughed.

"You are such an ass," I said and grabbed the carrot from his hand.

"Hold your hand flat, so she can take it," he said showing me what to do. I was terrified the old horse would take my hand right along with it and tensed when her soft lips ran across my hand.

Alice walked up and smiled, "I'll teach you to ride, Bella, if you want."

"Not around barrels, I hope."

"Oh Bella, you are so funny," she laughed and I felt truly handicapped.

"Why don't you climb up and I'll just walk her around," Edward offered and I glanced over to see the whole family watching. There was no way I would climb on an old mare, shaking from fright, in front of the royal family of rodeo.

"Um…can you guys just…like…go."

"We have a brutal day planned," Emmett said pleadingly, "We could really use a laugh."

"That's enough," Carlisle said, causing me to like him so much more. "Let's give her some privacy.

They all headed into the house and I turned to look at Edward, "They're just going to watch out a window, aren't they?"

"Absolutely," he smiled and I nodded in understanding.

"Okay, how do I climb on this beast," I said with resignation.

"Left foot here," he instructed, holding out a stirrup. "Then swing the right leg over the saddle."

I stuck my foot in the stirrup and put my arms around Edward's neck causing him to laugh and move away. I had to hop on one leg to keep from falling. "What are you doing?" I yelled at him.

"You don't hold onto me, grab the saddle horn."

I put my hands on the horn and waited. "Now what?" I asked.

"Pull yourself up," Edward said forcefully.

I let go and pulled my foot from the stirrup. "I can't even get on the stupid thing, take it back."

Edward began pinching the bridge of his nose and said with a forced calm, "She was brought here from Wyoming; I can't just send her back."

"Well I'm not some butch chick that can use my biceps to pull myself onto a horse," I said angrily.

"Alice can mount a horse twice this size, you don't need to be a butch chick. Use a fluid motion and let the momentum pull you up," he said and I looked back at the waiting horse.

I tried again, putting my foot in the stirrup and hopping a couple of times before jumping into the air and pulling with all my might. I was so thrilled I actually made it up I forgot to be terrified at the fact I was sitting on a horse.

"That's my girl," Edward said proudly and began walking the horse down the path. After a few moments he stopped and handed me the reins.

I held them like he instructed me before and Pepper followed him as he headed to the outdoor arena. He opened the gate and once I was inside he whistled for Man-o-war. The horse came over, already saddled and I watched Edward climb up effortlessly.

"Okay, I'm going to show you how to let the horse know what you want," he said as I watched carefully. "To make her go, push your heels down in the stirrups as your pelvis rocks forward and kick lightly."

I did what he said and smiled as I walked my horse next to his. "Okay, to stop you relax your legs and pull with a quick jerk back on the reins." I had that move down.

"Now I just want you to practice walking her. Keep your hands off the horn and lead with the reins in one hand, rock your body in rhythm with her."

"What are you going to do?" I asked, wanting him to stay with me.

He smiled and made a funny clicking noise, sending his horse into a light gallop around the arena. I walked Pepper slowly as he practiced all kinds of steps with his horse. I had no idea how long I rode but I was getting braver and allowing the old mare to walk faster when Edward told me it was time to put her away.

I followed him to the barn and he led me to Georgia's old stall. He swung down and told me to do the same. I was stunned at how my legs felt. I walked stiffly and put my hand on my very sore ass.

"You have to brush her down and take off her bridle and saddle," Edward said as he began working on his horse.

"I don't know how to take them off," I said and he told me to watch him.

When I finally had her in the stall I felt like I had really accomplished something. Edward pulled me into his arms and kissed me fervently. "I have to go, but tonight I will show you how to clean the stall."

"I have to shovel shit?" I asked in shock.

"You want to be a Cullen, don't you?" he laughed.

"Where are you going?" I asked him.

"I'm going to the gym. I'll be back later this afternoon," he said just as I heard Emmett yell for him.

I nodded and tried not to let my disappointment show. I went back into the house and showered and changed. I was lying on the bed reading a book when Alice knocked on the door.

"I have something for you, Bella come with me."

I followed her to a large room with a pool table and bar and watched as she put on a CD. "You get to dance with Edward now, not me," she said and held out her hands to place on my waist.

"I'm a good dancer, Alice, but not the way you guys do it."

"It isn't that complicated, it's only a few steps done in different combinations. Edward is a very good at leading and easy to follow. Just pay attention to his hand on your back, he uses pressure to show you which way he's moving. When he pushed in, that means he's going to turn you, like this."

I listened to everything she said and realized how truly easy the steps were compared to the complicated combinations Eric came up with. Alice was stunned at how quickly I pick it up and we were dancing to the entire song in only a matter of minutes.

"You should have been doing this months ago, and spared me the stress," she laughed.

"I finally feel like I can do something without looking handicapped," I admitted.

"Do you miss working?" she asked and I thought about it before answering.

"I miss being busy, and I miss Edward. I want to be with him but he's so distracted right now."

"It's only because of finals, it will get better," she promised.

"Are you riding Sarsaparilla?" I asked.

"Yeah, it feels weird, but he really is a good horse."

"Does Edward always work out at the gym?" I asked and noticed how she looked away quickly.

"It takes a lot of upper and lower body strength to ride a bull," she said and I wanted to point out it was not what I asked her. But I decided to talk to Edward and leave Alice to concentrate on her own riding.

I was asleep when he got home and woke up to an empty bed. I was beyond frustrated and dreaded spending the day with my parents. I took an extra amount of time getting ready and made sure I looked as perfect as possible before heading out to find my elusive fiancé.

I ran into Esme and she smiled, "Are you excited for your parents to arrive?"

I nodded and asked, "Have you seen Edward?"

"He was working on some gear by his trailer, I'm not sure if he's still there or not."

I headed outside and felt the cold air of winter so I pulled my sweater tighter against my body. Edward came walking around the corner of the barn and my heart skipped a beat at the sight of his beautiful face.

"Don't I know you from somewhere?" I smiled.

"I'm sorry to leave the bed so early; I wanted to get some stuff done before your parents arrive."

"We should have cancelled," I said, "You're so busy right now."

"No, I want to meet them, I think I will have a lot in common with your father," he said in passing and led me toward the house.

I felt sick inside. I had vowed never to end up with a man like my father. My mother lived to serve him and I wanted a life that was my own. Now I was living with a man I never saw, who became sick at the thought of my friends, and isolated from every accomplishment I had made.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked.

"Sure," I nodded and gave the best fake smile I could manage.


	7. Chapter 19 thru 21

A bell went off at the front gate and Carlisle hit the button to let them open. Edward and I stood on the front porch to greet my parents. My father was a very good looking man, tall, and dark, with an air of authority. My mother was small and a bit ditzy. She kept her body in shape, at the insistence of my father, and could still turn some heads.

I stepped forward and hugged them both before introducing them to Edward. My father shook his hand and eyed him up and down.

"I'm really honored you came all this way," Edward said and my mother smiled lovingly at him.

"Well, we just had to meet the man foolish enough to want to marry Bella," my father said with a laugh and I noticed how Edward tensed.

"I'm lucky she agreed to take me," Edward offered and my father chuckled and rubbed his chin.

"Please come in," Edward said, "I'll have someone get your bags."

We all went to a small parlor at the front of the house and Esme brought out coffee. "This taste wonderful Mrs. Cullen, I can tell Bella didn't make it, she's not too domesticated," Charlie said as he elbowed Edward.

"Do you ride, sir?" Edward asked him.

"I'm more of a motorcycle man," Charlie said.

"We have some quads, I would love to show you around the ranch," Edward offered.

"Wonderful, it sounds like fun," my father said and Edward lit up, feeling like he was doing something right to impress my parents. "The girls can wait here," Charlie said and Renee nodded.

"We have enough for everyone," Edward informed him but my dad shook his head.

"I don't know if I want to put my life at risk by having those two ride next to me. Bella is not really the outdoors type."

"Edward bought me a horse," I said to my father's shocked face.

"I hope you kept the receipt," Charlie laughed loudly.

"She's doing very well," Edward said in my defense.

"Don't say I didn't warn you when you find the thing dressed up in sequins as Bella tries to make a career of singing to the thing."

I let my eyes drop, not wanting to see Edward's reaction to the horrible things my father was saying about me. He never saw me as successful, only as uneducated and chasing a dream. Edward held out his hand for mine and squeezed it gently.

"Have you set a date?" my mother asked after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence.

"We are thinking maybe Valentine's Day," I said softly.

"That doesn't give you very much time," my mother said in shock.

"We'll keep it small," I said.

"You can wear my dress, but what about bridesmaids?"

"I think Bella already has her eye on the perfect dress," Edward said and I smiled at him.

Both of my parents laughed and shook their heads. "I hope it looks like a bridal gown and not some weird Hollywood thing," my mother stated.

"And you can have Edward's sister stand up with you, not one of those fruity boys you hang with," my dad added.

"Let me show you to your room," Edward said as he stood, trying to contain his anger.

"We can just stay with Bella," my father offered, "I'm sure these two will be up all night gabbing anyway."

"Well, Mr. Swan, that would be difficult, since Bella stays with me," Edward said as he squared his shoulders. I wanted to crawl under the coffee table and hide for a good six months. My father glared at me and I looked down at my hands.

"We didn't bring her up that way," Charlie said as he faced Edward.

"And what does 'that way' mean? Because Bella is a very loving, giving, loyal woman and I assumed she got those great qualities from her parents."

"We taught her to respect herself, not jump in bed with men," my dad clarified.

"You'll be happy to hear she informed me right from the start she would not be having sex with me," Edward said boldly, leaving out the fact he was the one who sent me away, without my underwear, only to show up at my hotel and have me jump him as he sat on the couch.

"Well, you seem to still be willing to marry her, so I guess we should consider ourselves lucky. Renee, you need to have a talk with your daughter, see if you can talk some sense into her head."

"Bella's a very level headed woman," Edward said and I knew he was just barely hanging onto his civility.

"You've been a good influence on her son, at least you got her away from those fudge packers she feels like she needs to employ."

I jumped up and headed out of the room, mumbling about checking on lunch but really running from shame. Edward ran after me and pulled me into the laundry room to hold me in his arms.

"Oh my God, Bella, is that how I sound? Am I really that bigoted?"

I couldn't answer, and clung to him. I didn't want to compare him to my father but there were times he was just as narrow minded. I tried to find some inner strength and not fold into the little girl my parents always made me feel like.

"I'll handle this," Edward said softly.

"You can't hit my father; he'd throw you in jail."

"I'll let nature give him a punch or two," he chuckled and headed back to the parlor.

I ran after him to see what he was planning and Edward stood in the doorway and smiled at Renee, "Mam, why don't you let Bella show you her horse and I'll take Mr. Swan out on the quads?"

I showed my mother to the barn as Edward and Charlie walked off talking about gloves and warm riding clothes. I noticed Edward whisper to Alice as my father walked toward a large garage. She smiled and headed to the stables.

"Bella, your Edward is very good looking; do you worry about losing him?"

"Should I, mother?" I asked sarcastically.

"I'm sure that is why you are sleeping with him already," my mom said as she nodded her head.

"Mother, is dad seriously the only man you've had sex with?"

"We married very young," she said and I noticed how her eyes seemed to dart around.

"Come on, mom, dad is very good looking, surely you got a little hot for him before he proposed?"

She walked away without answering and I broke into laughter, "I knew it, and you want me to feel badly for loving Edward. You're both such hypocrites."

Alice walked in and saw us standing there fighting so she said, "Let's go inside and get out of the cold. Rose and Esme would love to meet your mother."

We followed after Alice, without even looking at Pepper, and joined the other women around the table. Esme served more coffee and cut up some pound cake.

"Bella is an amazing young woman," Esme said, causing me to blush.

"She's so good for Edward," Rosalie chimed in. "She has changed him so much."

"Nothing about Edward needs changing," I added, "Well, maybe his homophobia."

"Bella loves the gays," my mom whispered to Alice sitting next to her.

Alice looked at me with raised eyebrows and jokingly whispered to my mom, "I've heard she turned several back to normal."

"Really?" my mom asked Alice.

"Oh yeah, nobody fucks like Bella," Alice said, sending my mom flying back into her chair and away from tiny Alice.

I had to bite the side of my cheek to stop from laughing and luckily Esme began asking about the drive. We chatted comfortably for a few moments until Rose said, "Bella has been very good to my husband Emmett, since I'm not too accommodating of his needs right now." She rubbed her large stomach lovingly.

"Emmett is Edward's brother, right?" My mother asked.

"Yes, but Bella treats them all the same, sometimes even at the same time," Rosalie added.

My mother was turning white and I began to worry about her heart.

"Now Rosalie," Alice said with her arms folded across her chest. "You know Jasper likes his alone time with Bella and not the orgies my brother's enjoy."

"Jasper?" Renee asked.

"My fiancé. I don't have sex with him, of course, so Bella does."

My mother placed her hand over her mouth and slowly rose from her chair sending us all into hysterics. Esme quickly went to my mother's aid and helped her back into the chair. "I'm afraid we are only teasing you Mrs. Swan," she said as she gently rubbed my mother's arm.

I took my mother's hand and stared into her eyes, "But mom, it is exactly how you make me feel. I love Edward and plan on spending my life with him. Our love is nothing sordid or nasty, can you understand?"

I watched as tears filled her eyes and she smiled as she nodded to me. I threw my arms around her neck and cried with her. "I love you mom."

We all talked and laughed and prepared lunch, hoping the men would return soon. We heard the quads and I ran to the window to see my father riding on the back of Edward's. He climbed off and came limping toward the house. I ran out the door in concern and glared at Edward.

"I'll be right in, take care of your father," he called to me and I held out my hand but Charlie refused.

He limped his way into the house and sat in a chair with a grunt. "What happened, dad?"

"Nothing, I just didn't know we would be traveling over such rough terrain. I wasn't prepared."

"Are you hurt?" I asked and he pushed me away in irritation. I went outside to confront Edward, hoping he didn't purposely try to hurt my father.

He was walking toward the house and shook his head at me. "What did you do?" I asked him.

"I used a lot of restraint, believe me. Did you know he ran a background check on me?"

"I'm sorry," I offered softly. "Did he…I mean, is there anything…"

"Drinking and fighting, but he would find that if he looked into any cowboy's past," Edward said angrily.

I looked at the ground in shame. I didn't want Edward dealing with all this drama before finals. He was busy and the one day I get his attention it gets ruined by my parents. I took a deep breath and said, "Why don't I take my parents to my house, let you concentrate on what you need to be doing."

His eyes snapped over to mine and he looked shocked. "Bella, I don't care what they think of me; I just can't stand the way they think about you. I'm not saving you; you are the one saving me."

I kicked a rock on the ground for a few seconds as I thought how I wanted to phrase what I needed to say. "I don't mind you being so busy if you are not planning to ride Diablo. If you are, then you must be staying away from me on purpose."

"On purpose?" he asked.

"Yeah, so I don't become so…attached."

Edward stared at me like I had lost my mind, but I realized he didn't refute my statement and it made me let out a rush of air in pain. I took a step away from him as I nodded in understanding. He removed his hat and ran his hand through his wild hair as he let out his own breath of air.

I let my hands fall in defeat against my legs and said, "Two weeks, Edward. It's not enough for me to fill my heart with memories of you. I've been with you for one week now and I never even see you. I can't pretend to be planning a wedding when I'm really expecting your funeral."

"Bella, I'm doing this the right way, so there won't be a funeral," he said with a frustrated voice.

"Doing what? I don't even know what it is you are doing," I cried.

"I can ride him if I switch hands, Bella. I'm learning to ride with my other hand."

My mouth fell open and I grabbed onto my heart as I leaned over in fear. "Edward, you don't have enough time to learn to ride differently. You can spend every moment until finals and it still wouldn't be enough time."

"I know what I'm doing," he said emphatically. "I'm not learning how to ride; I'm learning to hold on with the opposite hand. I can confuse him, if I have my riding hand opposite of my stronger leg.

"Where's your compromise?" I asked him barely above a whisper.

"What?" he asked.

"I'm giving up so much for you. I hurt my best friend for you. I brought my parents to the middle of nowhere for you. I walked away from a starring role on Broadway for you. I'm feeling really stupid right now."

"You wanted me to keep my title, remember?" he pointed out.

"I wanted you to fight through you fear to return to something you love. And you did, you got back on top, but I never wanted you to take on Diablo."

He smacked his hat against his leg and turned his back to me. I headed into the house and saw everyone look around uncomfortably. I knew then we were being watched through the window.

I sat next to my parents and took a long drink from my cup as we waited for Edward and Emmett to come join us all for lunch. Edward walked in and headed to the sink to wash his hands. I kept my eyes down and the room remained quiet except for Carlisle and my father talking about logging companies.

Emmett interrupted when he came running into the room carrying a box. "Edward, it's here. Let's go try it out."

Edward jumped up with a smile on his face and then froze. He sat back down and glanced at me before telling Emmett he would do it later.

I would have been happy with his sacrifice, if he hadn't looked so disappointed. I looked at Emmett's angry face and asked, "What is it that arrived?"

"Oh, um…nothing, just a rope," he said and sat the box on the counter.

"Emmett, sit so we can eat," Esme said to him and he walked over to give Rose a quick kiss before sitting down.

"I smell ham," Emmett said sniffing into the air, "Did I guess right?"

"I have a little game we can play," I said with a fake smile. "It's called, Guess what's in the Box."

The table grew silent and everyone stared between me and Edward.

I sat my elbows on the table and leaned onto my chin as I stared across the table at Edward. "I'll go first. I guess it's a Brazilian bull rope with a two inch off center grip, and extra firm with absolutely no give. Who wants to go next?"

Emmett's mouth fell open and he stared at me with shock. "Are you psychic?" he asked.

"No, I'm just the girl who is so stupid she needs a horse for handicapped kids," I said as I walked from the room.

I headed into the stables and stood at Pepper's stall. She came over and let me run my hand down the front of her face. I sighed loudly and leaned my head against the doorway of the stall. "How do I compete with the rodeo, Pepper?" I asked her. "How do I make him want to live for me and not for the next bull that comes along?"

The horse leaned her head against my shoulder and held perfectly still. I smiled at the gentleness of the large creature and wrapped my arms around her neck. I heard Edward's truck engine roar to life and then fade into the distance as I closed my eyes and cried.

Pepper let me hold onto her for strength until I felt the pain was all cried out. I opened the pen and pulled her into the open area of the stable. I had no idea how to put on a saddle or bridle so I pulled her by the neck over to the tall barrel.

I climbed onto her back, holding on tightly to her long mane and gently kicked her. She walked slowly forward and I didn't bother trying to lead her. I allowed her to go wherever she wanted, praying she would keep the slow walking pace.

She headed down a trail into the tall trees and I simply gave over my will to hers. She walked for over an hour, winding through the thick, dark forest until we came to a clearing. A large home stood in the middle of the freshly turned earth and I knew it must be Emmett's and Rosalie's. I could hear noise coming from the back and Pepper naturally headed to the commotion.

A small arena with two bucking chutes was full of cowboys sitting around on the fence. I saw one chute open and Edward came flying out on a bull. Everyone was cheering and yelling and I noticed Emmett on a horse, yelling instructions to Edward.

Pepper continued right up to an empty spot along the fence and I saw Edward standing on the ground as the bull was loaded into the chute again. He climbed back into the hold and reset everything. "I'm gonna sit up tighter, see if there's a difference," Edward yelled to Emmett.

The gate opened again and the bull began bucking and spinning. "Much better," Emmet yelled. "But you can't let your leg take some of the strength from your arm."

I watched as Edward road time after time, listening to everyone's critique and opinion. On a particular ride he jumped from the bull only to have it turn and run for him. Edward jumped onto the railing not too far from me and I noticed the smile on his face as he looked down at the bull just missing his legs.

He glanced along the fence and was stunned to see me sitting on Pepper. His smile faded and he looked like he had been caught with another woman. I hated I caused that kind of reaction in him. He was doing what he loved to do, and it was something I could never be a part of.

20

Edward walked over to me and I noticed how Emmett dropped his head in frustration with his brother's attention being taken away from the task at hand. I tried to wipe away my tears before Edward reached me, but it was too late.

"Did you ride her here?" he asked, seeing me on the horse but not believing I had it in me.

"I don't know how to get home," I confessed.

"You're riding bareback?" he asked with a slight smile.

"She only walks," I pointed out.

"Do you need me to take you home?"

I looked around at all the men gathered around and didn't want to cause them any problems so I shook my head back and forth.

"What are you going to do?" he asked and I felt more tears fall from my own frustration.

"I don't know how to get off of her," I said very softly so nobody would hear me.

"What" He said loudly.

"I can't get down," I whispered as I leaned toward him.

He chuckled and climbed over the fence. He grabbed onto Pepper's mane with one hand and jumped onto her back behind me. "I'll be right back," he yelled and pulled back on the fistful of hair causing the horse to back up.

He leaned his hand to the side he wanted her to go and she headed in that direction. He led her to his truck and slid down before pulling a harness from the box in the back and tied her to his mirror. He held out his arms for me and I slid awkwardly into his chest.

"Oh God, my legs," I cried as I tried to stand upright. Edward laughed and put his arm around me waist to lead me into Emmett's house.

"Just let me finish up a couple of things and I'll take you home."

I nodded and welcomed the soft couch. I was sitting there in exhaustion when Rosalie walked through the door. She looked at me in surprise and I could feel my face redden. "Sorry to leave you guys to entertain my folks," I apologized.

"Esme is great with strangers. She has your father eating from her hands," Rosalie said as she came to sit by me. "What's going on, Bella?"

"What do you do all day when Emmett practices?" I asked her.

"I have my things. I love to read and I love to paint. May I show you the baby's room?"

I followed her down the hallway into a nursery that took my breath away. It was painted with trees surrounding the room and every animal imaginable in the scenery. Deer were drinking by a bubbling brook; squirrels climbed the trees as bunnies scampered on the ground.

"Rosalie, you have so much talent. This is amazing," I said as I gawked at the room.

"What do you love to do?" she asked me.

"Singing is my passion," I admitted.

"Why don't you write songs or something to fill the time?" she suggested.

I smiled at her and then looked directly into her eyes and asked, "Are you worried about Emmett?"

"I'm focused on my son. I can't make decisions for Emmett, and I can only hope he wants to be here to see his boy."

"If something happens, will you blame Edward?"

"No, Emmett will do his job, but he's not going to risk his future for Edward. I think their little sabbatical apart put things in perspective for Emmett."

"Are you going to be there?" I asked her.

"Of course, it may end up being a once in a lifetime opportunity. A bull like Diablo doesn't come along often and a cowboy as brave as Edward, doesn't either. I think he's got this one."

I felt strengthened by her optimism and decided to give her suggestion a try and focus on my music while Edward prepared for his ride. She offered to drive me home and I accepted, since I was sure Edward would forget all about me.

I walked into the house to find my father sitting with an icepack on his sore back watching a football game. I sat down across from him and stared at the screen. He finally hit the mute button and looked at me.

"Bella, are you happy here?"

"Why, do I seem unhappy?" I asked him, having no idea what he was asking.

"I worry about you sometimes, and not because you make bad decisions, but because you are my little girl. I don't understand all the spin that comes with your job. This all seems real."

"I know what you mean, dad. But there are things about the realness here that scares me. I feel weak, and I don't like that feeling."

"I'm afraid you got that from me," he said and turned back to the television. I continued to stare at him, knowing his inability to understand my world made him worry for me, just like I worried about Edward. I needed to give Edward what I wanted so badly from my parents, acknowledgement that he knew what he was doing.

I headed to our room and put on some music when I heard some loud yelling coming from inside the house. I ran from the room and could make out Emmett's voice yelling for Carlisle. We all converged in the center of the house and headed into the kitchen where everyone would fit.

"I got a call from Tattorsal Ranch, they actually threatened Edward," Emmett yelled in rage.

"Did they have specifics or were they fishing?" Carlisle asked.

"Call Black," Emmett yelled to Edward and he pulled out his phone and stepped from the room. I was torn over whose conversation to listen to. Emmett continued yelling and cussing but I didn't know what he was talking about so I followed Edward.

"Hey, this is Cullen," he said into the phone. "Did you get a call…"

"Yeah, Emmett did."

"No, not at all."

"Thanks."

He hung up and I placed my hand in front of his exit and asked what was going on.

"They are just playing hard ball, that's all," Edward said to calm me.

"Who?"

"The ranch which owns Diablo, they don't want me or Jacob to ride him. They want to guarantee he goes out un-ridden."

"They threatened you?" I asked with terror.

"It's just a game, to see who folds first," he said and headed past my arm to return to the conversation in the kitchen.

"Black said they're only fishing," Edward told Emmett.

Emmett was pacing back and forth as he tried to concentrate. "We let too many people in on this. We should have kept it quiet," he mumbled.

"I'm not letting it get in my head," Edward announced. "They don't know anything. Hell, I'm not even sure yet."

His words gave me hope. I wanted to believe I was getting through to him and he would choose a bull he could win with and be done with this danger forever. Diablo wouldn't be an issue next year, and Rosalie said bulls like that don't come along often.

"How did they threaten, Edward?" I asked but nobody answered. They continued talking about possible leaks and change of routine.

I put my hand on Edward's arm and he instantly threw it off without thinking. I tensed as he continued to talk to his brother, ignoring I was even in the room. I finally reached over and pushed him harshly from the side. He stumbled, remaining on his feet and looked at me with wide eyes.

"What's your problem," he yelled at me.

"I'm sorry, but it was the only way to get your attention," I yelled.

"I'm busy," he said harshly and turned back to his brother.

I stormed from the room and headed into the bedroom and began packing my stuff. My mother followed and asked me timidly what I was doing. "I'm going home, you and dad are welcome to come with me or head back to Forks."

My mother left quickly and I was sure she ran to my dad, until Edward walked into the room. "Where do you think you're going?"

"You're too busy to talk, remember?"

"You're being irrational," he said to dismiss me and I turned to face him.

"You go fuck yourself, Edward Cullen. I'm not playing Little House on the Prairie any longer. You treat me like shit…"

"I have been nothing but respectful of you," he screamed.

"Just because you're polite while you dump on me doesn't make it any better," I yelled as I pointed at him. "I will not move up here and be treated like interference in your life. I was supposed to have your undivided attention today. You forgot to even bring me home from Rosalie's house."

"Rose brought you, we're family, one is just as good as another," he said without understanding why I would want him to physically be here.

"I see, you don't need to see me because you see Emmett all day, one is just as good as another."

"Bella, I don't need this right now," he yelled as if I was a child needing scolding. I grabbed my keys and my purse and headed out the door without taking any of my things.

Edward ran after me and grabbed my arm as I reached my car. "Where are you going?" he asked in anger.

"I'm going somewhere I might actually be appreciated, go play with your animals, Edward, and call me if you live."

"Acting like a Hollywood princess won't get my sympathy," he said harshly and I wanted to punch him right in the jaw.

"I don't want your sympathy you ass, I just want to be part of the conversation once in awhile. I want you to come home while I am still awake and leave after eating breakfast with me. How is that being a princess?"

"I just need to focus right now," he said exasperated.

"Fine, go focus yourself, Edward." I got in the car and screeched the tires as I sped away.

I was stunned when I saw his huge truck in my rearview mirror. He sped in front of me and stopped at an angle to block my path. He jumped down from the seat and walked angrily toward my car. I was actually a little afraid of him.

He opened the door and grabbed me by the arm, pulling me from the car and throwing me over his shoulder. "Oh please tell me you are not acting all caveman," I screamed at him as I tried to get out of his arms.

"Shut up," he yelled and pushed me into his truck. I immediately reached for the other door but he grabbed my arm and kept me close to him.

"You are crossing a line here, Edward," I yelled as he started the vehicle.

"I said, shut up," he said again.

I expected him to drive back to the house, but he continued heading toward the gates and then toward town. I sat with my arms folded tightly across my chest and refused to open my mouth any further.

He pulled into a hotel and I turned to glare at him. "What in the hell do you think you are doing?"

"I doing something I can't do with your father in the house. I'm going to appreciate you, Bella. I'm going to give you my undivided attention. I am going to focus on you until you can't remember any other man ever focusing on you before in your life. Now, get your ass out of the truck."

I followed him into the lobby where he got us a room before grabbing my hand harshly and pulling me down the hallway. As soon as we entered the dark room, Edward pulled off his shirt and looked at me challengingly. "I'm having you the way I want, Bella?"

My mouth fell open but nothing came out so he grabbed me around the waist and lifted me off the floor as he kissed me aggressively. I knocked his hat off as my arms circled around his head and my fingers plunged into his hair.

He pulled on my leg causing me to wrap them around his waist, feeling his buckle against me. His hands ran up my back, bringing my shirt up and then over my head. I was gasping for breath when he spun around and posted me against the wall. I let my legs fall and he quickly began unfastening my jeans as I worked frantically on his.

He brought his hands to my arms and pushed them away from his pants, "Un uh," he moaned and continued working on my jeans. He knelt down as he pulled them from my legs, letting one leg completely free, before placing it on his shoulder. I fell back into the wall and hung on as I tried to breathe.

This was a new side of Edward I hadn't experienced. He wasn't slow and methodical or needing a rush. He was completely giving himself over to the need he was feeling, unrestrained and not trying to use control. His entire focus was on me and I cried out for him in a whole new way. He was breathing heavily as he pulled me to the bed and finished removing my clothes.

He quickly disposed of his belt and only freed himself from his jeans without removing them. He fell onto me and yelled out when I moved to accommodate him. He moved onto his knees and held my legs in the bend of his arms as I became lost in the feeling of him again. This time he screamed out first as his neck muscles clenched tightly.

I expected him to fall to the bed in exhaustion but he pulled me up and headed to the shower. I wasn't sure if I could take anymore. He removed his clothes and stepped under the water, pulling me with him. I was weak and my legs were shaking but he held me and kissed my shoulders lovingly. I sighed and relaxed against him, listening to the sound of his heart beating.

"I love you, Edward," I said softly.

"Then stop leaving me," he said adamantly.

He grabbed the soap and began running his slippery hands over my entire body, concentrating on the most sensitive spots. I couldn't believe he thought he was going to reduce me into a screaming mess again, but that was exactly what he did. He was right; I couldn't remember any other man ever touching me. My body only knew Edward from this moment forward.

I fell asleep, exhausted and unable to form a sentence, in his arms and remained there all night. I woke to the sound of his gentle snoring and smiled at how exhausted he must be, too. I kissed his chest and he moaned and tightened his arms.

"Bella," he said softly.

"Yes?"

"I think I'm dying," he groaned and I laughed loudly.

"Hey, playing king of the body was your idea, not mine," I pointed out. "And just so you know, I will have to be carried out of here."

"Don't make me laugh, my abdominals can't take the strain," he said in obvious pain.

"It kind of ruins the illusion if you are comatose the day after," I laughed.

"Last night was no illusion, love, it was real. I challenge any other man to do that three times in less than an hour."

"Sweetheart, it isn't really an event where you try for the least amount of time," I pointed out with amusement.

"Be quiet, or I'll do it again," he threatened.

"Oh God, no, please no more sex, Edward," I cried out and he chuckled before moaning in pain.

He put his finger under my chin and pulled my lips to his, kissing me softly like only Edward could. "I won't ride Diablo, if you ask me not to," he said as he looked into my eyes.

I was so torn. I wanted to reward him for all the loving he gave me, but I wanted him alive and breathing for repeat performances. I took a really long breath and said, "Edward, how sure are you he can be ridden?"

"Honestly, about seventy-five percent," he said and my heart tightened in my chest. "I don't want you to ride him," I said and watched for the reaction in his eyes.

"Okay, I won't."

"Why the sudden change?" I asked suspiciously.

"I want to ride him, Bella. I feel like a coward by not doing it, especially now they are threatening me. But I can't let my pride ruin us. I'm not losing you over a stupid bull, no matter how adamant I feel about it."

"Will you start to resent me?" I asked, knowing there was no way he wouldn't.

"I'll get over it," he said with a smile. "What do you want to do today?"

"I get you the entire day?" I asked with shock.

"You get me for forever, but let's just plan out today," he laughed.

I kissed him with all my strength, which wasn't much, and felt like the luckiest woman in the world. A gnawing feeling buried deep within my soul was easily pushed back down as I planned the entire day with my fiancé.

21

I got to spend an entire week with Edward. He was attentive and loving, making me feel we could actually work. Alice worked non-stop with Sarsaparilla, and Edward began focusing on bronc training. We spent every evening under the lights of the arena working on my riding skills.

I was beginning to love Pepper, but enjoyed watching Edward and Man-o-war the most. They had a unique bond that was almost telepathic. Edward could anticipate his horses every thought and Manny, as I called him to myself, loved Edward deeply.

My favorite thing to watch was when Edward was riding bareback; he would lie on his stomach, bringing his feet together on top of Manny's rear, and rest his head against the horse's mane. His arms would drop around Manny's neck and he would talk to the horse as if they spoke the same language. Manny would whinny and raise his head up and down as if they were speaking heart to heart.

The night before Edward had to turn in his bull request for finals he seemed a bit agitated. I tried to give him some space and noticed how he relaxed around Manny. He was taking extra time brushing him and kept giving him sugar cubes from his hand.

He kissed the horse on the jaw and said, "We're in this together boy, I need you with me on this one."

The horse pulled back his lips to expose his large teeth and Edward laughed. "I'm not giving you tongue, buddy."

He led him into his stall and watched as the horse drank from his trough. I put Pepper away and came over to hug Edward. "I love to watch the two of you together, you'll be a great father," I said softly.

He pulled me to the side of him and rested his head on mine. "I knew we belonged together the moment I saw him. He was just a foal, but he was stubborn and hated being put on a rope. I finally let him lead and he just seemed to know what I wanted from him."

"How long have you had him?" I asked.

"Six years, but it feels like forever," he said with a loving voice.

"Should I incorporate him into the wedding?" I asked with a laugh.

"Hell no, you would dress him up and tell everyone he was gay."

"You don't know he's not," I said with a chuckle and he tightened his arms around me as a threat.

"So, are we still good with everything?" I asked him with a soft voice.

"Yes, Bella, I'll ride to win and let the bull bastards keep their record."

"Well, at least you're not bitter," I laughed and kissed his chest before pulling his hand toward the house.

Edward followed but when we reached the door of the barn he stopped and looked back at his horse. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing, I guess I'm just feeling a bit jittery."

I looked over at Manny as he chewed some hay and then at Pepper as she looked exhausted from walking. My eyes wandered further down the stalls to look at Sarsaparilla. He was standing with his ears back, like it angered him I would dare look his way. The horse had an attitude and it bugged me.

Edward turned out the light and I followed him into the house. Emmett and Rosalie were over and we were going to watch a movie until Alice brought up the subject of dancing. "Bella will be dancing with you Edward, and she's really good."

He looked at me with a huge smile and said, "Really?"

"Unless I have to dance with Jacob," I shrugged.

"I'm the All Around cowboy until the very last ride, so it will be me you dance with," he said with just a hint of anger.

"Let me see what you've got," Emmett said and put on some music.

I jumped up and began using steps choreographed by Eric for the concert tour causing Emmett, Jasper, and Edward to stare in stunned silence. Alice began laughing and grabbed Jasper to show me how to do the two step. Edward quickly joined in as my partner and we had our own little dance party.

The music was loud and we were soon joined by Carlisle and Esme. I laughed at how graceful the Cullen men were when dancing, even huge Emmett held Rosalie lovingly and would spin her lightly. I was only drinking beer, but I felt a bit tipsy. It may have been due to the man holding me tightly for a slow song.

I was kissing his neck as he pulled me tighter to his body. We were moving very slowly to the beat of the music and each couple seemed lost in the moment. I finally heard Jasper speaking.

"Turn the music down for a second."

Emmett walked over and turned off the stereo. Everyone stood quietly as they listened for…something.

"I thought I heard Sarsaparilla," Jasper said as he strained harder to listen.

We all heard a long, loud braying from a horse and the sound of kicking in the stall. Jasper and Alice headed out to check on the horse and I looked at Edward and whispered, "Are you ready for bed."

He leaned in for a kiss when the sound of Alice screaming at the top of her lungs could be heard. Emmett was the first out of the room followed by Carlisle and Esme. Edward kept hold of my hand as he ran to the back deck.

Emmett grabbed his brother by the waist and yelled, "Don't look, Edward. God, don't look."

Edward was fighting in his brother's grasp as he screamed in pure rage. I didn't understand what was going on. Alice was crying hysterically and Rosalie was leaning against the house for support. I looked for Jasper and saw him on the ground, kneeling in a pool of blood next to Manny.

The horse was lying on the ground as Jasper and Carlisle worked frantically over him. Edward broke free from Emmett as he screamed out in pain. He stumbled down the steps and fell at the head of his horse. His hands reached for the horses head and tried to lift it, but they only slid off, soaked in blood. Edward stood as he looked at his bloody hands, walking like a drunk man, he screamed into the air as his heart ripped in his chest.

"Please, No," he cried, completely out of his mind.

Emmett emerged with a shot gun and ran toward the barn.

"Get everyone in the house," Carlisle yelled.

Esme grabbed onto Rosalie and pulled on my hand, but I broke free and moved toward Edward. He turned to look at his horse again as he screamed and fell to his knees. I ran over and wrapped my arms around him as he sobbed loudly; still holding his bloody hands in front of him.

Emmett came out of the barn with a face of pure hate. "Tattorsal did this," he yelled and Edward turned slowly to look at his brother.

He held up a piece of cloth which was marked with a brand and stuck through with a bloody knife. Edward grabbed the cloth and ran to his truck. I ran after him, knowing he was capable of murder at this moment.

"Edward, please don't go. You are in no condition to go," I begged.

I was stunned when Emmett jumped in the passenger side and yelled, "Get out of the way, Bella."

The truck tore off loudly down the driveway and I worried it was the last time I would get to see Edward. I went back to where Manny was lying and sat on the bottom step as Jasper and Carlisle spoke about the horse's injuries.

"It's deeper than it looks," Jasper said as he examined the slit across the horse's throat.

"He's been branded," Carlisle said with disgust as he looked on the hind end.

Esme came outside and took my hand to lead me inside, "You don't need to see this dear," she said softly.

I let her lead me away and into the house where Alice was still crying. "I'm afraid for Edward and Emmett," I said as tears fell down my face.

"I hope they gut the bastards," Rosalie said forcefully.

"Why would they do something like that?" I asked Esme.

"They don't want Edward to ride Diablo; it would cost them too much money in breeding gains."

"He isn't," I said in shock.

"They want to make sure he isn't. This was a message to keep him from turning in Diablo's name tomorrow."

I felt the urge to vomit and ran for the sink. These people were sick and willing to kill an innocent animal over money. I wanted Edward to find them. I wanted him to take out all of his grief on whoever did this to Man-o-war. But more importantly I wanted Edward to ride that damn bull more than I wanted anything so badly in my life.

I looked over at Alice crying into her arms with her head on the table and felt anger flowing in my veins. "Stop it," I yelled at her.

She looked up at my tight jaw and narrowed eyes and sat up. "This doesn't end here. Manny isn't dying for nothing. Edward is going to ride that bull and he is going to need all of us to do it."

"Bella," Alice said as she gasped for breath.

"What?" I asked angrily.

"Edward will kill you for calling him Manny."

I smiled and nodded, "I know, but he's got a list of other people to kill first."

We waited all night for Edward and Emmett to return. A bulldozer was brought in to take Manny away after Carlisle and Jasper wrapped him in a tarp. I knew this horse's funeral would be one I couldn't miss.

When both men came into the kitchen I told Jasper the news. I was going to let Edward ride Diablo and I needed Jasper there to help Emmett keep him safe. He nodded and actually smiled a bit. Carlisle picked up the phone and began calling around for his boys.

After the third number he got hold of someone with some news. He listened intently and finally hung up to face our worried expressions. "It was one of the ranch hands. He was paid handsomely for the job."

"Did Edward call the police?" I asked as my voice shook.

"No, he handled it," Carlisle said.

"What does that mean?"

Rosalie looked at me and rolled her eyes. "We don't wait for the courts to smack their hands. We use real justice, which is swift."

"You don't care if he kills someone?" I asked in fear.

"No, dear," Esme said, "Emmett is with him to keep that from happening."

"Emmett has a gun," I pointed out.

"Just to make sure it remains between Edward and the perpetrator. Ranch hands are usually very loyal and protect the brand. The man will be lucky if only Edward gets to him," she said as if talking about a shopping list.

The sun was up when Emmett finally walked through the door. I was lying with my arm extended on the kitchen table and quickly jumped up. Carlisle pulled out the chair next to him and Emmett sat down.

"Where's Edward?" I asked with a shaky voice.

"I got him drunk, to ease the pain," he said and looked at his father. "Monte is taking care of everything. He's going to bring the punk by for you to talk to."

"What did Edward do?" I asked, hoping he would tell me.

"He got his pound of flesh. Shit, Bella, I'm worried about him. The only thing worse would have been them hurting you. He's going to be messed up for awhile."

"Where is he?" I asked again.

"He's in the stall, just let him sleep it off."

"He doesn't have time, Emmett." I stood and squared my shoulders. "He has a fucking bull to ride."

I headed out the door and Emmett called to me, "Are you saying what I hope you are saying?"

"Yeah, and you better have him ready," I said and slammed the door. I walked to the barn, passing the large, dark puddle in the dirt and found Edward sitting in the middle of the hay with his back on the wall.

I sat on the opposite wall and waited for him to look at me. His head swayed and he smiled lightly. He had blood on his clothes and I didn't know if it was from his horse or the man he went after.

"He said he was sorry," Edward slurred, "Like it could be made right by apologizing."

"There is only one way to make this right," I said with a loud voice.

"I hit him, again, and again, and again." He pulled his hands up to rub his eyes like the image behind them hurt too badly to look at. "But he's still gone. The stall is still empty."

"I know."

"He slit his throat," Edward said with clenched teeth and his hands pulled into fists. "God, Bella, he took a knife and slit his throat." He made an agonizing growl and pulled his legs up in pain.

"Look at me," I demanded with a commanding voice.

He opened his eyes and I saw nothing but pain, horrible, excruciating pain. So I used my determination for him. I narrowed my eyes and spoke clearly. "You are going to get up off the ground and walk into the house and call in the name of your bull. Then you are going to train like hell and ride that son-of-a-bitch Diablo. Do you hear me?"

His eyes locked with mine as his head continued to sway. "Are you saying I can ride him?"

"You are going to ride him like he is a milk cow, and Tattorsal Ranch can shove the breeding fees up their asses."

Edward smiled as his head bounced up and down. "I love you," he slurred.

I stood and walked over to him, holding out my hand. He took it and stood having to lean on me to walk. I brought him to the house and noticed how he tensed as we walked past the dark stain. "Bella," he said into my hair. "Where's my horse."

"He's waiting for you, Edward."

"Okay, I'll take care of him. I'll do it, nobody else."

"He will like that," I said as my voice broke.

I put him in our bed and noticed how swollen his hands were. He fell onto the pillows and was out immediately. I pulled off his boots and shut off the lights before looking for Carlisle.

I found him in his office with Emmett and Jasper. "Okay guys, what's the plan?" I asked.

They all looked at me and laughed. "I love kick ass Bella," Jasper said and gave me a high five.

"I spoke with the officials over the pro's and explained what happened. Tattorsal will be punished and not allowed to enter stock for at least a year," Carlisle explained.

"But, he has to ride Diablo," I said with a panic.

"They have agreed to wait until after finals. Edward will ride Dangerous Dan for the first two go rounds. Diablo will be used for the final ride. He will be the last ride of the event."

"What do we need to do to get Edward ready?"

"He needs to hit the gym to strengthen his left arm. He needs to eat lean proteins and get his head back in the game," Emmett said adamantly.

I nodded in understanding. "I'll talk to him when he wakes up and then head home, so he can focus. He wants to be the one to take care of Man-o-war."

Jasper nodded at me and said, "We'll let him, and be here to pick up the pieces."

"Thanks," I said in a whisper.

"Bella," Emmett said to relieve my mind, "Edward always rode with nut and guts, now he has a real reason to ride. He can do this, I know he can."

"I know it, too."

I packed up a bag and waited for Edward to stir before climbing on the bed next to him.

He opened one eye and groaned loudly. "Jasper has some stuff to help with the head," I told him.

"I hope it is another bottle," he said and covered his eyes.

"No, you can't drink anymore because you have a lot of work to do. I'm going home so you can get back to work."

He moved his arm and looked at me. "You are going to ride that bull, Edward. They don't get to do this to you and get away with it. You need to cowboy up and teach them a lesson."

"Will you be there?" he asked softly.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. So, get that seventy-five percent shit out of your head, and send that beast back to hell, where he came from."

He smiled and nodded before becoming very serious. "I want you to stay with Eric. I need to know you're safe."

"You think they would come after me?" I asked in shock.

"I never expected this, Bella. I have no idea what they'll do."

"Okay, I'll stay with Eric."

He pulled me into his arms and said, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For giving me a reason to keep going."

"I love you, and I have faith in you, Edward."

I left the Cullen's Ranch and drove toward Los Angeles, my world, where people like Edward don't exist. But I have been changed and I no longer fell for the fakeness Hollywood offered. There were awful people in the world and they couldn't be ignored or excused.


	8. Chapter 22 thru 24

22

Eric was stunned when I knocked on his door. He honestly thought I had dumped Edward and rushed back to save our friendship and my career. He let me enter and I saw Ben sitting on the couch and I nodded to him.

"Are you done playing Amish?" Eric asked as he raised his eyebrows.

"Don't screw with me, Eric; I'm not the girl you think I am."

"You're not Bella; because that is the girl you look like?"

"This whole city is twisted," I said angrily. "Ben you need to go the Flame awards and support the man you love. Grow a pair and tell your producer to shove it."

"Sit down girl, and spill it," Eric said as he nodded toward a chair.

"God Eric, I don't even know where to start. Edward has the fight of his life ahead of him, and I can't be there, because I'm a distraction. And I need to ask a favor; Edward wants me staying here with you, for my safety."

"Wait a minute," Ben said quickly. "I don't want Eric in danger."

"Don't worry, no self respecting cowboy would come near a gay man's home. They think it is like the flu and they might catch it," I said in disgust.

"You can stay, but you have to let me give you a manicure. What's the deal with your hands," Eric said sadly.

I laughed and looked at my fingernails, "I have my own horse."

"You ate a hamburger, didn't you?" Eric yelled at me.

"No I didn't. I have a horse named, Pepper, and you have to promise that when you visit you'll ride with me."

"I'll ride with Edward on his horse, I don't trust you," Eric said and my eyes instantly filled with tears.

His eyes grew wide and he jumped up to come sit by me. "I don't want Edward, I was only kidding."

I shook my head and cried harder as memories of Manny came to mind. I remembered calling him gay and it made me laugh. Eric was convinced I had gone totally mad and looked at Ben for help.

"Bella," Ben asked gently. "Are you taking any drugs?"

"No," I yelled and wiped my face. "I was crying over Edward's horse. Somebody killed his horse to send him a message."

Eric gasped and his face looked stunned. "Bella, that is like Mafia shit. Are they taking a contract out on him?"

"No, he's going to ride their bull and cost them a lot of money." Just saying it out loud seemed so ridiculous to me. Money was the reason my world was so fake and money was the reason his world was so violent.

I spent the day talking about fashion and movies with Eric and Ben. Eric worked on my nails and it was so fun to see the guys interact. Ben was calm and steady compared to Eric's hyper disposition. The day was perfect and kept my mind off of how much I was missing Edward.

Late that night Edward called. I was so happy to hear from him, but I didn't expect it. I thought he would be so focused on Diablo I wouldn't enter his mind. I wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not.

"I miss you," he said sadly.

"Are you working hard?" I asked warily.

"Yeah, I buried Man-o-war this evening. I just needed to hear your voice."

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I know how much this hurts, I really do."

"God, Bella, why would they do something like this?"

"Because they are afraid of you, you're the best in the world and they know you have what it takes to beat them."

"I feel…I don't know how to say it…he's still with me, he wants me to do this. Am I crazy?" he ask with a terrified voice.

"No, Edward, you are not crazy. He loved you and wants this for you, not revenge for himself. He knew better than anyone what you are capable of. It's going to be a once in a lifetime sight and Man-o-war will be right there with you, you'll feel him in your heart, I promise."

"I rode differently today," he said with a strong voice. "I rode on emotion, not skill. I felt powerful and in control, twenty-five percent better, you know."

"It was the only thing missing. I'm so proud of you," I said softly wishing he was in my arms at this moment. "I got a manicure from Eric, so you can imagine how boring my day was."

He laughed and it sounded like music to my ears. "Tell him I own him one," Edward said and it was my turn to laugh.

"I think I'll phrase it differently. Eric might be hoping for more than you're willing to give," I teased him.

"I'll make Emmett deliver," he chuckled.

"Edward, Emmett has a kid coming, you can't suicide wrap under any circumstances, okay?"

"I never do," he said with a teasing tone. "Um…I'm not riding to win, do you understand what I mean?"

"No," I admitted.

"I only need to make the final go round. I'm going to ride the bronc's and the first two bulls with my other hand to keep focused. Black will beat me, but I will be less likely to mess up when I ride Diablo. It's going to be really ugly, but I only care about the time, I have to stay on until the buzzer."

"Let Jacob Black have the title, you get the victory," I said with a smile.

"Yeah, I like the way you put it," he said and I could tell he was smiling too.

"Go to bed and ride in your sleep," I told him.

"Hey," he said with a husky voice, "learning to use both hands will work out well for you, too."

"Damn you, how am I supposed to go to sleep now," I complained.

"I'll be waiting in your dreams to show you how much I love you," he whispered.

"I'll see you there, and I hope you know how much I love you, too."

We hung up and I wanted to ask him about Pepper, but I knew it would hurt too much right now. I drifted off to sleep to find Edward and love him like I wanted.

The week was passing slowly and I buried myself in writing songs. I cried as I poured out words for Man-o-war to speak to Edward. Most people would think it was a song about doomed lovers. But it was about a relationship much deeper than that of physical attraction.

His horse was solid muscle, kept in shape by a cowboy who loved him and didn't mind letting the animal lead. But, Man-o-war's biggest muscle was his heart, also kept in shape by Edward with his constant concern and constant sharing.

I realized his death most likely saved my relationship with Edward. I was in the way of his dream and his resentment would have surfaced eventually. We were of one mind now, working together for a common purpose. I didn't want to think of Manny giving up his life for me, but it felt that way.

The night before we would all meet in Las Vegas Alice called me. She gave me instructions and where to meet up with Edward and which flight I was booked on.

"He's ready, Bella. He is fierce and so determined. His whole demeanor has taken on the name, if that makes any sense," she laughed.

"Will he be safe at the event?" I asked as my own fears began to rise.

"He's got security, but don't tell him," she giggled.

"How are you doing with your own loss?" I asked and purposely didn't use the word Sarsaparilla.

"He better win, or I am putting him on the grill," she grumbled.

"How's Pepper?" I asked and Alice laughed loudly. "Hey, don't laugh at my horse. I happen to like slow and gentle."

"Well, then you'll be happy to know she is still slow and gentle. You have to learn to ride a real horse, Bella."

"Pepper is a real horse, and I will ride a more spirited horse when Edward can watch Eric and Ben kiss."

"Oh Bella, you are such a dreamer," she teased. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I had a hard time falling asleep. I was worried, and excited, and anxious, and I knew I needed to pull it together for Edward. I was certain one look at the Tattorsal brand and my rage would pull me right together.

Eric dropped me off at the airport and I marched right past the paparazzi dressed in wranglers, boots, my belt, with the contraband buckle from Edward, and holding my hat in my hands. They all yelled for my attention and I continued walking until I heard someone say, "Is Edward ready for the ride of his life?"

I looked around the crowd and saw a young man wearing western clothes holding out a tape recorder. I walked over to him, ignoring all the questions about myself.

"They made a huge mistake coming after something Edward loves. I've learned a lot about Cowboy justice, and Edward will hit them where they live. They might as well heat up the grill, because that bull won't be worth shit after this weekend."

The young man smiled widely and nodded at me as I turned and walked away, leaving the other reporters trying to figure out what I was talking about.

I landed and was shocked to find Esme and Rosalie in the limo waiting for me. Rose looked terribly uncomfortable and Esme looked very stressed. I didn't let it damper my confidence at all.

"You look authentic," Rose said as she gave me a once over with her eyes. "But you still aren't supposed to wear that buckle."

"It's his to give," I said with a smile, "Anything new since I spoke to Alice last night?"

"Yeah, Jasper is going to handle the flank strap on Diablo, but it is supposed to remain a secret until right before the ride," Esme told me.

"A secret from Edward?" I asked, wanting to tell them there was no way I was going to go along with that.

"No, Tattorsal," Rose explained. "The association is building this up big. It's going to sell a lot of tickets, and they aren't about to let those guys cheat by having the bull stall."

"How's Emmett?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes and Esme laughed. "If you don't have horns or balls he won't know you exist. He is so focused I doubt Edward will get to even speak to you if Emmett is around."

"If that's what it takes, I'm good," I said, truly willing to wait until after the ride to speak to the man I love.

"What happened to the girl who thought we were abusing animals?" Rose laughed.

"I met a cowboy who loved his horse almost as much as he loves me," I said honestly.

We pulled into the arena parking lot and drove behind the security gates before climbing out of the car. The lot was filled with trailers and corrals and my pulse was racing. I was headed to Esme's trailer and not even looking for Edward when a rope flew over my head and tightened around my body.

I screamed in shock and turned to find Edward holding the end of the rope. "With my left hand, even," he smiled proudly.

"You're not a roper," I said pointedly and pulled the rope back over my head.

"I just wanted to lasso me a purdy woman," he said in a thick southern accent.

"I thought you were focused?" I asked as I eyed his suspiciously.

He dropped the rope and came up to pull me into his arms, "I am focused; do you want me to ride you to prove it?"

"Will it ruin my value, if you do?" I asked as I put my hands on his ass.

"I'd have to retire you, but I've already taken you off the market," he said and kissed me sensuously.

"Take me to your trailer," I said as he moved to my neck.

"Damn it, Edward," Emmett yelled and I pulled away like a teenager getting caught by her parents. "I thought you were working on your left hand dexterity," he said with anger.

"I am, I promise to only use my left hand," he said as he winked at me.

"And I'll make sure he does," I said to Emmett as I stared at Edward eyes.

He smacked Edward across the back of the head and said, "Where's your rope?"

I laughed and headed into Esme's trailer letting Edward get back to his focus and was handed a drink as soon as I entered. "I know it's early, but it will be one of those weekends," Esme said with a smile.

I quickly downed the drink and asked the hard question. "What will happen when Edward see's anyone from Tattorsal?"

"Just expect fighting at the dance tonight," Rosalie said as she sipped her juice.

"Really, you think there will be trouble?" I asked with fear.

"Come on, how could there not be? Edward has to be there as the reigning champ and they are going to want to rattle him. They'll say some shit about his horse and Edward will respond. But most of the cowboys are going to side with Edward, so it can't get too out of control."

I took a deep breath and began to worry. I had made a lot of changes, but I still struggled with the idea you hit someone to work things out.

We all headed to the opening ceremonies and it dawned on me for the first time, Edward would be introduced but didn't have a horse to ride in on. I assumed he would ride Colossus, but smiled at the thought of him riding in on Pepper. They would have to lengthen the ceremony just to give her time to walk around the arena.

Everything was so much bigger and grander for the finals. The parade of horses and queens was at epic proportions. The judges were introduced, along with all the dignitaries, and finally the anthem was sung.

The lights grew low and began to blink off and on as the crowd stood to scream for Edward. My heart was pumping fast and I could feel the tears threatening to come. When his name was announced a thunderous roar erupted from the crowd and a collective gasp could be heard when Edward walked out into the ring.

I covered my mouth with my hands and watched him walk with his hat in his hand. He had on new chaps with the image of Man-o-war painted down one entire leg. I looked at Rosalie and saw her wiping away tears. Edward's jaw was tight and a look of determination was set on his face.

He stood right in the middle of the arena as a tribute to Man-o-war played on the huge jumbo tron overhead. It was set to my song about the moon and I watched as Edward looked up to see the slow motion images of him entering various events, riding in on his beloved horse.

The crowd was silent as the tribute played, several people openly weeping, I watched Edward drop his head and wipe away uncomfortable tears. When the song ended Edward put his hat on, just as Emmett came riding in on Colossus, heading right for Edward with his arm extended. Edward grabbed the arm and was pulled up behind Emmett to ride around the railing as the crowd screamed in delight.

Edward held his hands high in the air as the strength returned in his expression and the sorrow moved into the background. A picture froze on the screen above, showing Man-o-war reared back with both legs high in the air. It was exactly how Edward would feel him in his heart.

I took a deep breath and pulled my emotions back into check as I mentally prepared to see Jacob score higher than Edward in the bareback bronc category. The crowd was loud and enthusiastic giving the riders an extra bit of determination, so the scores were high and the amount of rider's making it to the buzzer was incredible.

Jacob climbed into the chute with his ever present smile. He adjusted his rigging quickly and nodded as Emmett waited on the far side of the arena to assist if needed. His ride was perfection and even the family stood to give approval. Edward was up next and I thought my nerves would be going crazy, but I felt an overwhelming calm wash over me.

Edward climbed upon the railing of the stall with a huge grin on his face. It was so out of character for him and I looked at Emmett to see if he would scream for his brother to focus. Instead, Emmett was smiling, too. He held his thumb high in approval and Edward straddled the bronc.

He raised his strong arm in the air and prepared his legs to spur as he gave a quick nod. The gate sprang open and the bronc exploded from the chute bucking wildly. I had intended to watch Edward's legs to see if he was slipping or if his spurring was off, but I never made it past his face. His eyes stayed glued to his riding hand, as he focused on his center of gravity. His jaw wasn't clenched like it normally was, but he had a calm look the entire time.

I don't remember hearing the buzzer but Emmett was suddenly riding right along Edward, as he easily exited the ride. Emmett dropped him to the ground and I noticed how Edward patted the image of his horse on his leg. The score was given placing Edward one point behind Jacob.

23

During the second go round more cowboys were bucked off and scores were lower. Jacob had another great ride and Edward appeared to be trying something different with his arm. It didn't work as well and he ended up dropping to third. He didn't appear upset and walked off talking animatedly with Emmett.

Alice set the crowd on fire and didn't disappoint. Sarsaparilla didn't lean as much as Georgia in the turns but seemed to be faster on the straightaways. She broke her own record and jumped up and down in the alley.

I left at that point and went looking for Edward. I worried about him running into any Tattorsal people, although Emmett would be able to handle anything better than I would. I found him working on some gear in Emmett's trailer.

"You were amazing," I said with a smile.

"I think I found a way to confuse the bull some more," he said feeling obviously very happy with his third place standing.

"Alice just broke her own record," I informed them and Emmett shook his head back and forth.

"I told her Georgia was holding her back," he said.

I looked directly into Emmett's eyes and asked about the dance. "Is there going to be a fight tonight?"

"I sure hope so," Emmett smiled.

I looked at Edward and noticed he didn't answer. He continued working on his equipment as if lost in his own thoughts. I moved to kneel in front of him and when he looked up at me I blew him a kiss.

"Were you saying something?" he asked, afraid he was ignoring me.

"No, I was just looking at you," I said and he winked at me.

My phone rang and I looked at it and groaned. It was Mike and I didn't want to hear him complain about anything. I stood and answered in irritation. "What, I'm resting, remember?"

"You are not going to believe this, Bella. You have been offered a part in a sit com. You will be the female lead."

I didn't answer and could see Edward looking at me, trying to judge what Mike wanted.

"Oh really?" I said without much enthusiasm.

"Yeah, really, they want to meet with you and I will be back in LA next week, will that work? I can have them come to your home if you like."

"Hum…maybe, let me call you later," I tried to say to keep Edward from guessing anything. Mike wasn't going to let me get away with that.

"Maybe, did you just say maybe? What's going on, Bella," he screamed.

"Listen, I'm with Edward now," I said hoping it sounded final to Edward.

"I don't care who you're with, get your act together and jump on this opportunity."

"I'll tell him you say hi, bye Mike."

Edward gave me a suspicious look and told Emmett to go check on Alice. Emmett gave me a glare as if to warn me to keep his brother focused. I smiled to tell him there was nothing to worry about. He walked out and Edward nodded his head to have me sit.

"What's going on?"

"Mike just wants me checking in. He's working on some things and wants me to feel like part of the negotiations."

"What things?"

"Edward, this is not important right now. I'm here, with you, and it is just where I want to be, okay?"

"Okay, I am trusting you, Bella."

"So, are you excited for the dance?" I asked hoping to bring up the possibility of a fight again.

"I'm excited to dance with you," he said quickly.

"Will any of the…Ranch people be there?"

"Possibly," he said softly.

"What should I prepare myself for?" I asked hoping I could trust him to tell me the truth.

"My fight is in the arena," he said and I instantly relaxed. I watched him work for close to an hour and he finally stood and reached for my hand.

We went to his trailer and got ready for the dance. It was after nine when we finally showed up. We were both smiling like crazy from our post shower activities and joined the family at their front table. Carlisle was hovering over his boys and I was sure it was due to the possibility of a fight.

When the band began playing Rodeo Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me to the dance floor. He was enthusiastic and having a ball. I was laughing and feeling like I finally belonged in this world. When the song ended Edward dipped me and kissed me with a passion. The entire room cheered for us and I felt like things would be fine tonight.

We danced through a couple of more songs and went back to the table for a beer. "You look so happy, Bella."

"I'm having a lot of fun. I understand things so much better and I am so proud of you," I said and gave him a quick kiss.

Edward stood and continued smiling down at me as he pulled his belt from his pants. I laughed and wondered if he was really going to strip right here. "Someone's a bit anxious," I teased and he nodded his head.

"Just let me know when you want to leave," he said with a grin as he wrapped his belt around his hand methodically. The huge buckle was covering his knuckles and I heard Emmett yell 'Dad' from somewhere behind me, but I was mesmerized by Edward's beautiful smile.

"I'm good, no need to leave just yet," I said and Edward leaned over to kiss my cheek.

"Hum…would you look at that," Edward said nonchalantly as he leapt onto the table and ran to the end before jumping into a crowd of men. I was staring in shock as his belted hand hit a man so hard the blood sprayed clear to a different table. The man fell onto his knees and Edward walked calmly in front of him and kicked hard with his boot into the man's groin.

I was frozen to my spot and saw Emmett and Carlisle standing behind Edward in case someone wanted to get in on the fight. Edward unwrapped his hand and put his belt back on as the man writhed on the ground. Nobody attempted to assist him and Edward simply walked back to me still wearing a smile.

I felt sick inside and had to sit down before I actually fell down. Jacob walked up to our table and held his hand out to Edward to shake. "Man, Cullen, you sure have control," he said shaking his head.

"Control?" I asked softly, feeling what I just witnessed was nothing close to control.

"Hell yeah, I would have crippled the guy, or at least removed his teeth," he said with his trademark smile.

"My fight's in the arena," Edward said again and I realized I had been fooled into thinking everything would be fine tonight.

"What was with the arm switch?" Jake asked.

"I hurt my shoulder," Edward lied. "Looks like you'll have my title by Sunday."

"If you ride Diablo I don't want it, it will belong to you," Jacob said.

"I'm not riding him for the win; I'm riding him for my life."

Jake nodded with total understanding and looked at me with a smile, "Congratulations on your engagement. You're getting one hell of a guy."

"I know, I just need to get him to stop punching people," I said with a smile.

"You're not a real cowboy if you can't give or take a punch."

Edward laughed and held out his hand for a fist bump. I rolled my eyes and shook my head as they both laughed at me.

I was ready to leave and hoped nothing would happen before we got out of there. Edward seemed calm and good with how everything was turning out. Emmett looked antsy and hoping he could find a reason to throw a punch or two.

We settled into bed and I held Edward in my arms and listened to him breathing. I began to wonder about the job offer and if it would be something Edward would consider letting me be a part of. I wasn't about to bring it up before his big ride. If he lost his focus and got hurt I would never forgive myself.

The next morning we headed to the arena for Edward to take part is some interviews. He was anxious to ride today and see how his adjustments were working. He sat in front of a group of reporters as I stood in the back of the room and prepared myself mentally to hear Edward talk about Manny.

I was stunned when the very first question was, "With Bella being offered a TV show, will you be heading to Hollywood yourself?"

His eyes looked up at me slowly and I felt the blood drain from my face. I smiled but he didn't return the gesture and I let my eyes drop to the floor.

"Bella's very talented," he said, "But, no, I won't be heading to Hollywood."

"Is it true your horse was killed, so you wouldn't ride Diablo?" He was asked.

"Yes, it's true." He didn't elaborate and I knew the press would not stop with so little information.

"What made you decided to ride him?" Someone else asked as a follow up.

"I was told to Cowboy up and ride him like a milk cow." The room erupted in laughter and I glanced to see if Edward was smiling but his face remained sullen.

"Have you spoken with Tattorsal Ranch?" Another reporter asked.

"Spoken, no. I ran into a representative last night, but we didn't speak, I just showed him my buckle," Edward said coldly.

I realized I was shaking and vacillated between wanting the press conference to be over and wanting it to last forever. I could tell Edward was angry and I had to hope he would give me a chance to explain.

"What makes you think you can ride Diablo when you haven't been able to in the past?"

"I realized I was stuck in a style of riding. I was expecting to ride every bull the same way, but I know Diablo is a different, so I need to be different to ride him. Most bulls respond on instinct. Diablo was trained to respond without using his natural instincts. I had to do the same."

"Do you worry about getting hung up?" Someone asked and I wanted to thank them for making Edward respond to that question.

"No, my brother is the best bullfighter in the world and although I wrap tightly, I never suicide wrap."

I wanted to scream at him from the back of the room. He was lying right to their faces and I felt a chill run down my spine. Something awful dawned on me; we did not trust each other. I was too afraid to tell him about possible jobs and he was afraid to tell me the lengths he would go to in order to win.

I turned and left the room without even looking at Edward. We were not ready for marriage and that took precedence in my thoughts over my need to get revenge. He would ride the bull and hurt himself or his brother, and I would take this big opportunity, so I could face Charlie without feeling worthless.

I was sitting in the trailer when Edward returned. He grabbed his gear and began getting ready for his ride later in the evening. "I'll be working with Emmett," he said as he headed for the door.

"Edward," I called out softly.

He stopped but he didn't turn to look at me. "You've got this," I said to his back. He nodded and walked out the door as I closed my eyes and let the tears fall.

I decided to stop the charade and put on some clothes that were me. I grabbed a cab and headed downtown to do some shopping. I bought some designer jeans, a simple t-shirt with a funky jacket, and some converse tennis shoes. I stared at myself in the mirror and felt real, even though my world was so fake.

I called Eric and left him a message wishing him luck at the award show tonight before grabbing a bite to eat. I was deep in thought when a group of girls approached me. "Are you Bella Swan?" they asked.

"Yes," I smiled.

"We're big fans; can we take a picture with you?"

"Sure," I stood and tried to smile as they gathered around me, but I was fighting tears. When they stepped back and saw my face one girl said, "We're sorry to bother you."

"Oh no, don't worry about it. I'm just dealing with some stuff right now," I admitted.

The group walked away but one girl remained. She looked nervous and I tried to smile the best I could when I asked, "Is there something you want to ask me?"

"I heard you might be on TV and I was wondering if you'll still make CD's because I love your music."

"I love to sing, it is my true passion, so yes, I'll still make time for music," I said and watched her smile.

I felt a warm sensation spread through me as I realized what I was saying. I loved to sing, it was my passion and I could be happy simply singing. I never wanted to be an actress; Mike put that dream in my head. Edward wanted me to keep doing what I loved to do, but would he be willing to ride without the added danger just to win?

"What's your name, honey?"

"Carly."

"Well, Carly, you have made me feel so much better and I want to thank you for talking with me today."

She grinned from ear to ear and headed off to catch her friends. I finished eating and hailed a cab to return to the arena. I searched for Edward, but I couldn't find him so I headed to the family box. I groaned when I say Tanya there and sat on the other side of Rosalie.

"Have you seen Edward?" I asked her quietly.

"Ah Bella, what in the hell are you wearing?" She said with disgust.

"This is me and it is all I will ever be, so get used to it or don't look at me," I said angrily.

Tanya got up and left the box and I wanted to jump for joy. I didn't want to admit having trouble with Edward in front of her.

"So, where is Edward?" I asked her.

"Last I saw him; he was with Emmett and Jasper in a holding room behind the chutes."

I ran from the box and down the stairs, looking behind every open door I could find. I was just about to give up when I heard Emmett's loud laughter. I ran toward the sound and pulled back a curtain to find the three men sitting with Alice and Tanya.

"Edward, can I talk to you?" I asked him and noticed how his jaw tightened as he looked at my clothing.

I sighed loudly and began talking as he continued to stay where he was. "I'm not taking that television offer, and I'm not turning it down for you, I'm turning it down for me. I'm not a cowgirl, and I never will be, but I love Pepper and I don't care that I'm practically handicapped for riding her. I'll never fix you a meal with meat and I will always want to know all about Eric's love life. My father will never think of me as successful and I will always have a smart mouth, but in spite of all of that shit I love you. I want to be your wife and I want to be a Cullen."

Tanya laughed loudly and shook her head. "You will never be a Cullen," she said hatefully.

Edward totally ignored her and his glare softened as he spoke. "Bella, I'll always be a cowboy and I love this sport. I love everything about it, even the traveling and the injuries. I will always eat meat and I don't want to hear a word about Eric's love life. I will never hesitate to defend the people I love with my fists and I will constantly be pushing you to ride better. But I love you so much I would walk away. I would load up my trailer and never look back if that's what it takes to make us work."

I threw my arms around him and cried into his padded vest. Alice jumped up and down and Emmett acted very irritated. I didn't even bother looking at Tanya.

I pulled out of Edward's arms and wiped my tears. "Are you ready to do this?" I asked him.

"Just watch me show this city how it's done," he winked.

"Nothing like screwing up his head right before a ride," Tanya said just loud enough for me to hear.

I spun around and pushed her with both of my hands as hard as I could; sending her into the curtain and sliding on her ass across the floor. "I wasn't talking to you," I yelled and headed back to the box without looking to see if she was okay.

Emmett's laughter rang in my ears along with the words, "Now you're a Cullen."

24

The energy in the stadium was high. I noticed how Carlisle kept pacing through the roping events and I felt like my stomach was tied in knots. I worried about Edward making it to the final go round, and I worried about something simple taking him out of the running, and giving Tattorsal Ranch a victory.

We finally got to the bull riding event, when the bullfighters were announced Rosalie stood and cheered loudly, before sitting down and holding her stomach painfully.

"Are you okay?" I asked her.

"Shhh," she said and glanced around the box to see if anyone was listening.

"What's wrong," I asked quietly.

"Nothing, I'm just really nervous."

"If you're in labor Emmett should know," I said with fear.

"I'm not in labor and Emmett doesn't need to know anything. I always get like this," she said emphatically, so I let it drop and began watching the action.

I could tell Emmett was nervous too; by the way he kept kicking the dirt and pacing back and forth. The very first rider came out of the chute and was thrown over the bulls head, right into his path. Emmett ran up to get the bulls attention and ran for the railing, jumping out of the way right as the huge bull ran his horns into the fence.

Rosalie let out a loud breath of air and continued to stare at the chute. I understood it was finals and the top cowboys were here, but the bulls seemed so much larger, and so much meaner. I tried to imagine what Diablo would be like and felt terror run through me.

When Jacob got up I had to close my eyes. I heard the buzzer, and then the crowd cheered loudly. I looked up to see he scored an 89. I took a deep breath and stood to look for Edward. Carlisle stood too, while Esme and Rose sat with their eyes down.

I saw Alice sitting on the railing in the alley, high enough to be out of any returning bull's way. Edward took an extra long time to get everything set just right. He lowered his hat and raised his hand as he nodded.

He looked very stiff and did not have the usual lose movements he typically used. When the buzzer sounded he began messing with his hand and didn't jump right down. Emmett ran towards him just as he got free and jumped off.

I couldn't hear what Emmett was saying, but he was screaming with an angry face. I looked at Jasper and he was shaking his head back and forth telling him Edward did not get hung up on purpose. He scored an 87 and Carlisle chuckled as he said, "He is getting sympathy points."

Edward walked down the alley and stopped when he got to his sister. They spoke for a moment and he laughed and handed her his bull rope. Alice kissed it and handed it back, making me smile. Edward shook his head and walked off to get ready for the next go round.

I sat down and could feel my entire body shaking. He made it through the first go round and only one more ride and he would get his chance for the ride of his life. I took a moment to breathe deeply and finally looked over at Rosalie. Her face was stoic without a hint of worry.

Esme took hold of Carlisle's hand and pulled him into his seat. He seemed to be the one unable to control his nerves and I found it sweet. I stared at my ring and felt my mouth smile. I pulled out my phone and texted Mike. _Forget the television part. I don't want it. _I hit send and then turned my phone off.

I was able to watch Jacob this time and even with my untrained eye I could tell the kid had talent. He scored high and was almost certain to head into the final go round in first place. Edward was up and I leaned into the railing and said a quick prayer.

The gate opened and he was sitting further back on the bull, taking quite a beating from the hind legs bucking. His free arm was loose this time rocking back and forth from the motion. When the buzzer sounded he easily jumped from the bull to the sound of Emmett's praises. We all stood and cheered loudly. It was the best scenario we could hope for and it bolstered us for tomorrow.

I headed to the back area and ran into his proud arms. He hugged me tightly and when I whispered, "You did it." He whispered back, "No, we did it."

We pulled apart and his family descended on him with hugs and kisses. I noticed how Rosalie kept her movements small and slow and I debated whether to tell Emmett or not. I walked over to a wall and leaned against it as I continued to watch her closely. A strange man approached me and said, "Are you engaged to Cullen?"

I smiled as I prepared to answer and noticed the stitching on his jacket. It was a brand with a T and R in the middle. "Who are you?" I asked him instead.

"I'm the only friend you've got," he said with a sneer.

"Leave me alone," I said as I felt my legs getting weak.

"We only want to talk to…."

He was grabbed from behind and thrown against the block wall of the arena. His face smashed against the concrete as he screamed out in pain due to his arm twisted awkwardly behind him. Edward's eyes were enraged and he spoke into the man's ear.

"You speak to her again and I will kill you, understand?"

The stranger didn't answer so Edward backed up a step and punched him in the kidney, causing him to slide down the wall in pain. He knelt down to look into the man's face. "This is the only warning you guys get. You don't look at her, you don't speak to her, and you don't even breathe next to her. I let you get to my horse, but I won't let you get to her."

He wrapped his arm around me and I clung to him in fear. I was terrified of what these people were capable of and I wanted out of here. "Are you okay?" he asked as he led me away.

"I'm scared," I said with a shaky voice.

I could hear Carlisle on the phone screaming to somebody about lousy security and Edward stopped walking and looked into my eyes. "Bella, I need you to do me a favor."

I nodded and began to really be afraid when I saw the look in his eyes. "I need you to stage a fight with me and then spend the night in Jacob Black's trailer."

I couldn't speak and could only feel my head shaking back and forth. He placed his hands on the sides of my head and held me in his stare. "Bella, I have to know you are safe or I can't do this. It hurt like hell to lose Man-o-war; it would destroy me to lose you. I trust Black, as crazy as that sounds he is the only person here I trust."

"You have security," I said, not sure if he knew or not.

"Yeah, that guy I just hit was supposed to be one of them."

I felt the tears fall down my face and I hugged him tightly, "Tell me what to do."

He led me to his trailer and I cried as we made love. This was so much deeper than I realized and Tattorsal was willing to do anything to stop Edward from riding that bull. He held me in his arms and kissed away the tears before softly telling me the plan.

We showed up at the dance and I sat next to Rosalie as she sipped her juice. "Are you okay?" I asked.

"Are you? I bet you are scared shitless," she said.

"Yeah," I whispered not qualifying which part of her sentence I was answering.

"Jasper's staying with Sarsaparilla," she informed me, "Although I doubt Alice will be too upset if something happens to him."

"What about Colossus?"

"They are both together; Jasper will check both feed bags before allowing them to eat."

"Do you really think they could be poisoned?" I asked in shock and Rosalie on shrugged.

"Just be prepared to have Carlisle in your trailer tonight, I doubt Edward will be allowed out of his sight."

I only nodded and felt my hands shaking, knowing what I had in front of me. Edward came over and sat stiffly next to me. We waited for the first slow song and Jacob walked up to the table and asked me to dance. Rosalie glared at him and when I agreed and stood, she glared at me.

It felt weird to have him fold his entire body around me as Edward would. I could feel myself stiffen in his arms and he laughed softly. "Relax, Bella, I won't hurt you."

"I'm feeling a bit lost," I admitted and he tightened his arms, making me feel worse.

"We've got this handled. I may be young, but I'm big," he said and I had to bite my lip from laughing at the thoughts going through my mind. He finally said, "I didn't mean it like that." And I burst into laughter.

"God, now I feel like I have to prove myself," he said with a huge grin.

"I'll take your word for it, big guy," I teased.

"We need to make it obvious, so why don't I lead you over to get a drink and then we'll stand on the edge of the dance floor and talk."

I nodded and he took my hand and walked me to the bar. I ordered a sloe gin fizz and he got a beer and we walked out into the open.

"You're not old enough to drink that," I teased him and he wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"When you ride a bull you can drink anything you want," he said and winked.

He was such a naturally happy guy I couldn't tell if he was acting normal or if he was playing a part. My eyes began looking for Edward and Jake cleared his throat to get my attention. "Keep it here," he said with a smile and I nodded.

"I'm glad I passed on the television show, I now know I can't act," I said with a sigh.

"You never know unless you try, I think you should reconsider," he said with a slight frown.

"I want a life with Edward, so it isn't a possibility."

"I'm pretty sure many actresses have relationships," he said.

I smiled widely and said, "Not with cowboy's they don't."

He smiled back and put his hand over his heart, "You just destroyed my biggest dream."

The music stopped and everyone began clearing the floor. We waited until we were in view of everyone and Jake ran his hand through my hair and began talking about his home. I was actually very intrigued by his description of life on the reservation and forgot the whole thing was a set up.

"You are very popular there, Bella, you should consider doing a concert for the kids. Of course, they can't pay."

"That's a great idea. I would love to work something out, who would I get in touch with?"

Edward came walking up and grabbed Jake's arm, "Get your hands off her," he yelled loudly.

I jumped and it actually really scared me. I reached out and tried to calm him down when Jake pulled me into his arms and said, "We're only having a conversation."

Edward looked at me with wide eyes and said through clenched teeth, "Go back to our trailer, I want to have a conversation with Jacob."

"No," I yelled loudly. "I'm talking to him about something important. You go to our trailer and wait for me."

He grabbed the drink from my hand and threw it to the floor, "Stop acting like a whore."

I could feel real anger rising in me and I decided to use it for the performance. I pushed Edward hard in the chest as my breathing became loud. "Don't you ever speak to me that way. You don't own me and I can talk to whoever I want."

"You're right, I don't own you, so get your shit out of my trailer and move it into his," he screamed as he pushed Jacob's shoulder.

Jake threw his beer bottle and raised his fist, but I stayed in between the two men so they couldn't actually fight. "It's not worth it," I said to Jacob and began pulling him away.

"Don't think you can come crawling back after he gets tired of your ass," Edward screamed after me. "You can't even ride a proper horse."

I turned slowly to glare at Edward for his low blow and saw him wink at me.

"At least I didn't call a gay man pretty," I retaliated with and watched his jaw clench.

"No, you just lie to me about your future plans," he said staring right into my eyes.

"And you lie to me about how you wrap," I said knowing we had moved from a fake fight into our real issues.

"Maybe Jacob is a better choice after all," he said softly in the silent room as everyone stared.

"And maybe your cousin she return to her knees," I said and grabbed Jacob's arm and pulled him away.

I began to cry the moment we got out of the crowded room and Jake wrapped his long arm around my shoulder. He had no idea Edward and I said things to really hurt each other and was happy with how real the confrontation played out.

I grabbed a bag from Edward's trailer and walked arm in arm to Jake's. I sat on his couch and pulled my knees up to hide my face. Jake grabbed some beers and walked over to hand one to me. "I think you'll be safe, it seemed real enough."

I took a sip and looked up at the smiling kid. "Tell me something honestly, do you ever suicide wrap?"

He chuckled and gave me a knowing stare, "Come on, Bella, we ride bulls. Our bodies get beat to hell and our joints hurt so badly that by the age of thirty we walk like old men. Sometimes you have to strap down and ride on faith."

"So is that a yes?" I pushed.

"The very first time I rode my father tied me to the bull. He told me I had to stay on or die trying."

I gasped and covered my mouth but Jacob only smiled. "I stayed on," he pointed out.

"But Diablo…"

"Diablo is another issue altogether. Edward would never us the suicide wrap on him, it would actually be committing suicide," he laughed and my eyes filled with tears.

"But it wouldn't matter if he lasted the eight seconds," I said sadly.

Jacob sat and thought for a few moments and finally shook his head, "They killed his horse, I know how it would make me feel." He glanced at me and added, "Then they threatened you, I guess I would be tempted to make the ride, no matter what."

"Do you think Emmett can save him?"

"Ah shit, I didn't think about that. Wow, he's gotta be feeling the pressure," he said and kicked the small stool in front of him. "He's right behind me in points and dealing with all of this, really makes me feel like a chump."

"I think it has gotten him really focused," I said to make Jacob feel better.

He sat deep in thought and finally looked at me and said, "You can take my bed, I'll sleep out here."

"No, way, you have the final go round tomorrow. I'll sleep out here," I offered.

He shook his head and took a deep breath. "I'm not leaving you out here alone. I'm not letting something happen on my watch."

"Okay, I'll sleep on the floor in your room." I didn't want to tell him he just terrified me and hoped I could actually sleep on the floor without feeling it was too far from him.

"I'll get you your own blanket and we can share the bed," he finally relented and I agreed a little too quickly.

I lay in the darkness, listening to Jacob snoring and imagining all kinds of noises. Every sound from a horse sent a chill down my spine. I scooted over to be closer to Jacob and actually relaxed a bit when his arm fell over me.

I fell asleep in his arms, pretending they were Edward's.


	9. Chapter 25 thru 27

25

I woke up with my legs wrapped around Jacob's and my face against his chest. I quickly pushed away and he turned over with a groan. I got up quietly and got my bag so I could shower and get ready for the big day. My stomach was full of butterflies and I knew the day would end in celebration or despair.

When I came from the bathroom Jake was waiting by the door, "Thank God, man you take a long time."

"Nice way to greet someone you just slept with," I laughed and he rushed into the bathroom.

When he came back out I asked him, "Am I free to leave?"

"I'll take you to the breakfast area, pass you off there," he said as he grabbed a shirt.

"Pass me off?" I said as I rolled my eyes at him.

"He said I could sleep with you, not keep you," Jacob teased and I was suddenly so anxious to see Edward and try to judge how he was feeling.

Jake pulled on his boots and walked with me to the breakfast room behind the arena. I saw Alice first and ran up to ask her if she had seen Edward. She said he was in Emmett's trailer and Rosalie was sick. I turned and ran, without looking for Jake to escort me.

I knocked on their door and Esme opened it. "Is Rose okay?" I asked in a panic.

She pulled me inside and I flew into Edward's arms. He spoke into my ear, "Bella, I didn't mean to say what I said last night."

"I think we are just too high strung right now. I'm worried about breaking your focus; everything will be fine when this is over."

"How was your night," he asked and I could detect a slight bit of jealousy in his voice.

I cupped my mouth with my hand and whispered, "He could only do it twice in an hour."

Edward began taking off his large buckle and I grabbed his hand and laughed. "Are you ready for today?"

"I've never been so ready," he smiled and I wished I could believe him.

"What's up with Rosalie?"

"We're not sure; Esme's going to take her to the hospital."

I watched as Emmett helped her walk into the room and something came to mind. "Edward, you don't think they would try to get to Emmett by doing something to Rose, do you?"

Emmett and Edward glanced at each other with a worried expression. "I didn't get the last two minutes of the training video, so they know I'll stay close. Maybe they want to make sure I'm not there to do…what? What would it do to have me there?" Emmett asked.

"You come in close, something about having a bullfighter close would give me the advantage," Edward said.

"It is only speculation," Emmett said, but I plan on staying in close.

Rosalie rushed over to the sink and began to vomit. Esme pulled her hair out of the way and Emmett watched with painful eyes. Rosalie suddenly grabbed her stomach and cried out, "My water just broke."

We all stood completely stunned until Rosalie looked at Emmett with tears. He ran to her and helped her to his truck. "I'll be back in time Edward," he yelled before taking off.

I saw a hint of panic in Edward's eyes and I wrapped my arms around him. "Edward, you don't have to do this if it doesn't feel right."

"No, I'm good. In fact, it's better not having Emmett to worry about."

We went to find Carlisle and told him what happened. He assured Edward he would notify the Rodeo officials and talk to the bullfighters about staying close. I was growing nervous and felt a new tension. I could only imagine how Edward felt. It hurt to know I spent what could possibly be his last night in the arms of another man.

He got ready for his bronc ride and I stayed within a few feet of him the entire time, watching his every move. He didn't talk much, but I wasn't sure if that was normal or not.

I headed to the family box to watch with Carlisle and Tanya. I felt better when I saw how calm Carlisle was. Of course Edward often said a bronc was easy. I cheer for Jacob when he jumped down not too far from where I was sitting. He waved at me with a big grin and I blew him a kiss.

Edward was next and I crossed my fingers and sat on them. He took his time with his rigging and I looked to see who the pick-up man was. I felt sick when I saw the man talking to someone in the audience, not concentrating on Edward at all.

The chute opened and I held my breath as the bronc ran kicking and bucking to the middle of the ring. Edward held on with his free hand high for the whole time and when he freed his hand and got ready to jump the bronc kicked, sending Edward's feet out from under him and his hand swiped hard along the rowel of his spur.

He rolled when he hit the ground and I saw his glove land after him, telling me it had been knocked off in the dismount. He grabbed his hand in pain and Jasper came running into the ring and applied pressure on the bleeding cut.

Carlisle let his head fall and my heart was beating wildly as I ran down the steps to see how bad it was. Paramedics were looking at the wound and I stayed back until they were finished. Edward walked out of the ambulance with a devastated expression.

"Are you okay?" I asked and noticed the look between him and Jasper.

"I just needed a few stitches," he said. "Can you get my dad, Bella?"

"Sure," I answered and ran toward the steps. I saw Jake walking from behind the curtains and I looked to see who he was with. I saw two bullfighters and hoped Emmett would get here soon. I found Carlisle and told him Edward wanted him, and then remained to watch Alice ride.

"Is Edward good?" Tanya asked.

I gave a quick nod and concentrated on action in the arena.

"Bella, I'm sorry, can we get past this?" she said sounding very sincere.

"Too little, too late," I said softly.

"Edward needs us all together on this. I don't want to fight with you when he is in danger,' she said to truly give me pause.

"Fine, I forgive you," I said and she smiled at me.

I moved over to sit next to her and we both cheered loudly for Alice. She would keep her title and she actually leaned over to kiss Sarsaparilla's neck. In less than four hours bull riding was scheduled and I was feeling sick to my stomach from worry.

I saw Jacob head behind the curtain again and I wondered if he was up to something. I decided to tell Edward. I found him in his parent's trailer trying to decide what strategy to use. Emmett was on the phone going crazy over Edward's injured hand.

"You have to use your real hand, Edward. There isn't any other choice."

"I can get a shot to numb it," Edward offered but Carlisle quickly interjected, "It will make you lose control of your wrist."

I sat down and listened as they totally ignored me. I tried to picture the whole scene in my head. Jasper was handling the flank strap so he would be behind Edward and wouldn't see his hands. Emmett wouldn't be there to stay close to confuse the bull. Edward would be forced to suicide wrap if he uses his good hand or his hurt hand.

"Edward," I said softly to get his attention.

He looked at me and I smiled. "I've seen Jacob with the bullfighters twice, do you still trust him?"

He looked at his father and Jasper before looking back at me. "At this point it doesn't really matter. I either do this, or I don't."

"And?"

He looked at the picture on the wall of him riding Man-o-war and his eyes grew determined. "I do this."

"Okay," I said, trying to keep my emotions in check. "If a bull is trained to throw a rider, not just by instinct but by training, what happens if he can't throw him?" I asked.

"What are you talking about, Bella?"

"I mean, if the one thing you can't do on Diablo is use the suicide wrap maybe that is just what you should do."

"I'm not following, love."

"When the buzzer sounds what if you don't try to get off, what if you just stay on."

The three men looked at each other with a stunned expression.

"We could be in the alley," Jasper said to Carlisle.

"Instead of climbing down, I could be lifted off after the flank strap is removed," Edward said with a glint in his eye. He looked at me hesitantly and said, "Bella, are you telling me to wrap?"

"You were going to anyway and you know it," I said as I rolled my eyes.

"I never do that," he laughed and pulled me to my feet and kissed me with a renewed passion.

"I can do this, Bella, I know I can," he said with absolute confidence.

"You make this ride and we'll marry right here in Vegas, right now."

He spun me in a circle as he laughed hysterically. "I can feel it," he yelled into the air.

"I'm going to let you get ready," I said and held his face in my hands. "I love you, Edward Cullen, and you go show Tattorsal Ranch how it's done."

"You better find what you want to wear to your wedding, because I'm holding you to it," he laughed.

I left the trailer and leaned against the metal as I finally let my tears fall. He was going to do it anyway, I wanted to show him my faith and not leave room for an inch of doubt, but inside I was terrified and wasn't sure I would be able to watch the outcome this evening.

My phone rang and it was the gate security asking me to come to the front of the lot. I couldn't imagine why they would want to see me and headed up front to find out. I was searching suspiciously as I walked to make sure it wasn't a trick when I saw Eric and Ben smiling at me.

I screamed and ran to them as we all hugged and jumped up and down. Eric had on old jeans and Ben was wearing wranglers. I grabbed their hands and pulled them into the back lot and into a whole different world.

"What are you doing here?" I asked with joy.

"We couldn't let you be here alone," Eric said.

"Edward called," Ben admitted to my stunned face.

I knew at that moment he wasn't as sure of a successful ride as he pretended. He wanted emotional support here for me in case it turned out badly. We all got a beer and I showed them around the back lot and the arena. So much was familiar to Eric, due to all the concerts he had been involved with. But the animals seemed to captivate him.

I saw a crowd, five people deep, surrounding a fenced area with fascination. We headed over to see what was so interesting and my heart dropped when I saw a banner with the Tattorsal brand on it. I pushed my way to the front and gasped at the sight of the biggest bull I had ever seen in my life.

He was solid black with a huge hump on his shoulder. His long horns looked so white against his black hide and his large eyes smoldered. He let out a rushed breath and the dirt under him blew wide. He walked to the far end of the pen and his legs rippled with muscle. His back was longer and he stood taller than other bulls.

"Oh my God," I whispered.

A handler stepped into the pen to fill the water and Diablo turned, using lightening speed, and lowered his head to advance. The cowboy immediately backed out and decided to just leave the water in the bucket. The large bull turned to face the crowd and we were all told to back up quickly.

I turned and ran as fast as I could to find Edward. There was no way I was letting him near that beast. I couldn't find him in any trailer so I ran to the arena. I ran down the hallway coming around the corner and crashing into Jacob.

"Bella, are you okay?" he asked as he held me steady.

"No, I need Edward," I cried. "He can't ride that bull, it will kill him, I can't let him ride."

He chuckled and pulled me to a chair and made me sit. "Bella, Edward is a pro; he's the world champion for heaven's sake."

"No, this is different, Jacob. This thing isn't an animal; it's a beast from hell."

Jacob laughed at my drama and I began to cry loudly.

"Bella, I talked to Edward. He's ready and whenever he has a moment of doubt he remembers his horse lying in the dirt with his throat slit."

"He should call the police and have them arrested," I said adamantly.

"Arrest who, the farm hand? You know damn well he was only the lackey. Edward is going right for the top by taking away their prized bull. This is a serious fight he's waging, and he's just the man to do it."

I let my face fall into my hands and I cried hard. I wanted Emmett here so badly to talk some sense into Edward. Eric and Ben finally caught up with me and stared like I had lost my mind. They helped me into the family box and Eric held me in his arms as I continued to cry.

The bull riders began the event to a sold out crowd, all here to witness Edward's victory, or his death. I couldn't focus on anything and stared vacantly at the swirl of colors before my eyes. When Jake rode I buried my face in Eric's side. I knew he would ride well, but his ride meant Edward was next and I didn't know if I had the strength to watch.

Jacob scored high and was guaranteed the title. The crowd gave him a standing ovation and he walked slowly to the railing and climbed up to watch Edward.

Diablo was loaded into the chute and you could hear the gasps around the arena. Edward stood on the rails and pointed at me, so I raised my hand and pointed back and watched him place his hand over his heart, as I sobbed my heart out.

He began buckling down and took a long time to prepare his rope. I saw Carlisle on the railing helping him and noticed how all the bullfighters backed up in the arena. I screamed for Carlisle, trying to get his attention so he would tell the bullfighters to move in.

Edward talked to his father and I watched him kiss his son on the forehead and then lower his hat for him. My arms and legs were shaking beyond control and I noticed Ben and Eric were silent. Tanya sat quietly with her head down refusing to watch.

Tiny Alice was perched on the railing in the alley just as she was before. I felt a bit of relief knowing Esme was at the hospital with Rose and Emmett. The ride was being televised, but she was spared from having to watch it in person.

The huge stadium was silent and the chatter of the men around the chute was echoing off the walls. I saw Jasper reach up and swat Edward on the ass and then pat the leg with the image of Man-o-war. I looked up and the jumbotron to see the horses picture and prayed he was with Edward right now.

Edward let his weight fall on the bulls back and Diablo began to bang his body against the gate in protest. Edward kept his legs tucked to keep from being injured as the bull continued to battle confinement.

Carlisle yelled for the bullfighters to come in, but they looked down at the dirt and ignored him. They had been either threatened or paid off, but Edward couldn't expect any help from them.

I watched as his arm came up slowly in the air and his head gave a slight nod. The latch was sprung and the gate flew open.

26

Eight seconds sounds like such a short amount of time. But when it is spent watching the man you love more than anything being abused, it feels like an eternity.

Diablo shot from the chute, bucking so quickly, and so hard, the arena filled with screams. The bull's head lowered to the ground, his hind legs shot up so far I honestly though he was going to flip completely over.

Edward's arm was jerked harshly as his body rose up off the back of the bull. He luckily came back down squarely and dug in his spurs. The bull began to spin as thick streams of saliva shot from his mouth and nose. I could hear Jacob screaming, "stay centered," over and over again, until the bull quickly changed directions.

Edward's free arm flew wildly over his head, knocking his hat to the ground and causing him to lose his balance for a moment. He leaned into the spin and Jacob screamed, "lift your arm." Instead, Edward stuck his free arm out to the side and the next kick centered his body back onto the bull.

Diablo was wild with rage and threw his head trying to find the intruder with his horns. Edward actually smiled and my heart soared. The buzzer sounded and the crowd went insane. Everyone jumped up and cheered so loudly it left my ears ringing.

I watched with fear as Edward brought his free hand to the rope handle and continued to hold on without trying to free himself. Diablo continued bucking and Edward was being tossed around aggressively.

I watched the bull fighters run around, pretending like they were helping, but they remained back and out of the bull's way. I looked over to see Alice screaming at a man standing by the alley gate and realized the gate wasn't opening. Diablo wasn't being allowed to leave and I screamed for Carlisle.

Jasper ran up to the gate and began pushing with all of his might as Carlisle screamed at the judges. But the stadium was too loud and nothing could be heard.

I watched in shock as Jacob jumped from the railing and ran at them, just as Edward was tossed high in the air and over the side of the bull. His hand stayed in the tight wrap and he tried desperately to climb back on.

He was being dragged like a rag doll as his feet tried to keep up with the fast bull. Diablo began to spin and I screamed as Edward hung lifeless from the side. Jacob ran up to the bull catching his attention and bringing him out of the spin.

The bull lunged at Jake and ran right at him. Jake didn't jump on the railing as I expected, but ran the length of the fence, with Diablo following. He finally jumped up just in time and ran his hand over the back of the bull as Diablo passed him, too big to make a sudden stop.

Edward's bull rope fell to the ground, releasing him from Diablo. There was no movement from him and the bull was coming back around. Jasper had the gate opened and both he and Carlisle were waving their arms to get Diablo's attention.

Jake jumped down and ran the length of the fence again, as the bull set him as a target. The large beast ran right over the top of Edward and headed down the railing. Carlisle jumped onto the rails, holding out his arm for Jacob, pulling him off the ground and out of the way, just as the bull reached him.

As soon as Diablo headed into the alley everyone ran for Edward. Eric and Ben were both holding onto me tightly with pale faces and terrified eyes. I was yelling loudly, "get up," without any knowledge of what I was saying.

I looked up at the image of Man-o-war, begging him to find some way to help Edward. "He moved," Eric yelled and I looked over at the sight of Edward's hand rising into the air. The crowd exploded in cheers again.

I watched Edward being helped up and gasped at the sight of his arm hanging limply in an odd way. Carlisle and Jasper were talking to him, and the entire arena watched as both men moved in tightly, holding him from the front and the back, and jerked his shoulder back into the socket.

I screamed and buried my face in Eric's chest. An ambulance was backed into the alley and Edward refused assistance as he walked slowly towards the waiting vehicle. The sound from the crowd was thunderous and when the video of Man-o-war began playing overhead again, there wasn't a dry eye in the place.

Edward looked up at me, with blood dripping down the side of his head, and pointed at me. I used both hands to blow him a kiss and cried with pride. I told Eric and Ben to wait and ran to the back of the arena, behind the chutes. I found Jacob first and ran into his arms.

I tried to thank him, but I couldn't stop crying enough to speak. Alice came up and threw her arms around us both so we pulled her into the hug. "How did you do it?" she asked Jacob.

He pulled a scalpel from his pocket and said, "I think your husband will be looking for this."

I didn't know which question to ask first and Jake began talking to fill in the gaps. "I'm buddies with one of the bullfighters. They were told to stay back and not to run along the railing. Seems old Diablo can't resist a chase if you run along the rails. When I found out Emmett wouldn't be here, I knew someone had to be ready."

"Bella," somebody called out and I saw Jasper waving me over to the ambulance. I yelled a quick thank you to Jacob and ran to find Edward.

I was afraid to touch him as they worked on stitching his head and re-stitching his hand. He looked at me with tears in his eyes, and I wasn't sure if it was from pain or pride, "I did it, Bella. It would have been flawless if they would have opened the gates."

"They're cowards," I said firmly and he smiled wider.

Carlisle walked up and held up a phone with Emmett on speaker, "You crazy son-of-a-bitch, Edward. The way you countered the spin was perfection, but you got freight trained while you were down, so we need to work on that."

"Right before the final spin, I kissed him with my head and it all went dark," Edward said.

"You have to give Black your title, since he saved your ass," Emmett said with conviction.

Edward looked at me with a blank stare and I said, "He used a scalpel to cut you free."

"He cut Diablo pretty good," Carlisle added.

I watched as Edward's smile fell and he looked at his father with a heavy heart, "Too bad it wasn't across the throat."

We all stood in silence until Emmett said loudly, "Well, at least I don't have to name my son Edward now."

"He's here?" I asked with excitement.

"Yeah, get your asses down here," Emmett yelled and then added softly, "Edward, mom really needs to see you."

"You should have x-rays," the paramedic said to Edward and he rolled his eyes.

"I'm fine, I've got a baby to meet and a girl to marry," he said with a big smile.

I looked around the circle at all the staring faces and said, "Oh shit."

They all laughed loudly and I suddenly remembered I left Eric and Ben sitting alone with Tanya. Carlisle agreed to wait for Edward and the rest of us made plans to meet up at the hospital. I ran off to find my friends sitting in shock as they tried to make sense of the world they had been thrust into.

We watched the closing ceremonies as Jacob and Alice got their titles for the following year and then left to explain everything to my friends. I was so focused on Edward that I never noticed Eric and Ben had been holding hands as we left the arena.

We waited for a cab and someone called them a dirty name but Eric wasn't fazed at all. "It's Vegas, tighten your belt if it scares you," he yelled at the cowboy. I laughed and hugged him, knowing he would always be my best friend.

When we got to the hospital the press was all over the place, everyone wanting a piece of Edward and to hear what was going through his mind as he rode. He smiled when he saw me and held out his good arm, the other resting in a sling.

I walked over and sat on his lap, making sure to stay free from his arm. We kissed and stared into each other's eyes as the cameras flashed like crazy.

"Are you keeping our deal?" he asked me quietly.

"Are you up for it?" I asked.

"It's not my first rodeo," he said and I smiled at the man I loved, knowing I would marry him covered in mud if he wanted.

"It's on," I said and watched his face light up and his eyes close in thanks.

I was asked about the possible television show and announced it was not something I was interested in pursuing. I wanted to sing, and that was something I could do as I built a life with Edward. I knew somewhere in the country Mike's head was exploding.

Edward was asked about going after his title again and he shocked me by shaking his head back and forth. "I have nothing left to achieve. I rode to win, and I rode to fix the tear in my heart. I want to be a simple rancher now."

"There it is," I whispered and he looked at me with confusion. "There's your compromise."

He was finally asked about Tattorsal and I watched as he took a few steadying breaths and chose his words wisely.

"There won't be a day I don't miss Man-o-war. He was literally my best friend. I wanted to ride Diablo to take money from their pockets, but the more I think about it, I am angriest over the fact they bred and trained a bull to seriously hurt cowboys. He would have been a honker on his own, but they turned him into a killer and that isn't right."

"What's a honker?" I said without moving my lips.

"It's a tough bull to ride," he answered and laughed loudly.

The press conference went on for close to an hour when Carlisle announced his son needed to be seen by a doctor and got us out of there. I brought Eric and Ben with me to see the baby. I laughed at the sight of a small stuffed bronc sitting in the crib with him and a gold sheriff star with the name, Lawrence Cullen, hung on the outside.

Eric was practically drooling on the glass and Ben looked very nervous. I finally brought them up to speed on my plans.

"I'm marrying Edward, tonight, here in Vegas. Can you guys stay?"

"Did you bring a dress?" Eric asked and I simply shook my head.

"It doesn't matter what I wear," I said to his shocked face.

"Oh, no way, girlfriend, I knew there was a reason for me to be here." He pulled out his phone and began making calls.

I looked at Ben and laughed. "I'm glad he's here, and not for the wardrobe help, I would never get married without Eric being there."

"He's really happy for you, Bella. He wants things to work out for you and Edward," Ben admitted.

I felt tears fill my eyes and I nodded in agreement. "He'll always be my best friend, and I want happiness for him, too. You make him happy, so thank you."

We hugged each other tightly and Alice came running up to see the baby. She jumped up and down and made baby talk until Eric walked over and said, "Everything is arranged. I just need to know where to have the wedding stuff sent."

Alice looked at me in shock and screamed, "You and Edward are getting married?"

I nodded and laughed as she ran off to do…something. I assumed she was telling the rest of the family, but the men already knew. When I finally saw Edward he gave me the good news, he only had one cracked rib. I held his beautiful face in my hands and kissed him gently.

"Bella, if you want your father to walk you down the aisle, I understand," he said softly.

"You're not leaving this city still a single man, so cowboy up, Cullen."

He smiled and blew out some air before kissing me passionately. I felt like the luckiest woman in the world. Nothing I had ever done compared to this feeling, because this was real.

"Rose will be released around midnight, can we wait for her?" he asked.

"Of course, exactly where are we getting married? Eric has the wardrobe handled," I laughed and Edward gulped loudly.

Alice ran back toward us, with Eric in tow. "We have it all arranged. You're getting married at Toby Keith's I Love This Bar, inside Harrah's. Get back to the arena and get your truck, we have a lot of work to do," she said to Edward.

"Bella, come with us," she said pulling me away.

I was taken into a dark costume closet and met by some dancers Eric knew. They showed me a rack of various wedding dresses, most very risqué, but I found one very similar to what I had always wanted. It was simple satin, with a halter neckline, hugging my hips, and it fell into a small train around my feet.

One dancer worked on my hair, adding a long train tucked under a messy bun in the back. Eric insisted on doing my makeup and I trusted him completely.

"What did you plan for Edward, and be nice, Eric?"

"He'll feel right at home, I promise," he said but I wasn't so sure I trusted him that completely.

"Oh, my God, I need a ring," I said in a panic.

"Tell me what you want, and I'll get right on it," Ben asked and I didn't have a clue. I gave him Edward's number and told him to get some ideas from him and also the size.

A dancer brought in some white cowboy boots and held them up for me to look at, "Not on your life," I laughed. "I want a simple slipper."

She smiled and ran back for another choice.

"Eric what are you wearing, I want you in the wedding?" I said and he rolled his eyes.

"I have something set up, of course I'm in the wedding; don't be so stupid, chica."

I wanted this whole thing to be over and done with. I was growing more nervous as time went on and wondered if Edward was as sure about marrying me as he pretended. He left to get ready and the dancers kept me company by doing my nails and helping me pick which fake bouquet I wanted to carry.

Ben came back and handed me a ring box. "That was fast," I said as I stared in shock.

"It's Vegas, every hotel has a jewelry store…and I used your credit card," he laughed.

I opened the box to see a simple silver band with a ring around the center. "It's perfect, Ben. Did Edward pick it out?"

"No, I couldn't reach him, but his sister gave me the size."

"Thank you so much," I said and had to fan my hands in front of my eyes to stop the tears.

Eric came walking in wearing a black tux with a white scooped next satin shirt underneath. He gave me a spin so I could see the whole effect, and then unbuttoned the suit coat to show the shirt had a bare midriff. I laughed and shook my head.

"Edward already almost died once tonight, let's not push it."

He buttoned the coat and held his hand out for the ring.

Esme came into the room with a photographer and smiled when she saw me. "You look beautiful, Bella."

"Is Edward still on pain pills, so he'll go through with this?" I asked nervously.

"All his dreams are coming true on the same night," she said and I knew I would always love my mother-in-law.

She pulled me to my feet and had the man take several pictures of me. "This should temper the anger from your mother," she whispered and I laughed.

We were all told it was time and everyone headed to the bar except me and Eric. "I can't believe this is happening," I told him.

"Edward is over the moon, he's crazy over you, but he would have to be, wouldn't he," Eric teased.

I held out my hand and Eric took it and led me to the bar. My heart skipped a beat when I saw Edward. He was dressed in a white western shirt with a black tie, black wrangler jeans, covered by gorgeous silver chaps, and the most shocking thing was a smaller buckle on a black western belt with silver tacks.

His left arm was still in a sling and I reached out and took his right hand he was offering me. "You're stunning," he said as he stared lovingly in my eyes. "Eric picked out the chaps."

"I love you," I said with a breathy voice.

"Enough to keep me forever?"

"Absolutely."

Emmett stood next to Edward and Eric stood next to me, although Emmett's shirt didn't stop above the bellybutton.

I can't remember a thing that was said, but I remembered telling Edward "I do," when asked if I agreed to be his wife. I had to be very careful when I placed the ring on his finger and smiled at the similar band he placed on mine to go along with my diamond.

When we kissed it was soft and gentle. He held my head in his hand, deep into my hair, and refused to let me pull away. His lips brushed against mine several times so lightly I actually sighed and felt weak in the knees.

The bar cheered loudly and drinks began to flow. "Jasper, Alice, you're up," Edward yelled and Alice shook her head adamantly.

The photographer took several pictures of Edward and I together and I had a feeling they would be all over the internet by morning, but I didn't care.

Emmett headed out to get his wife and child on an early flight with Esme. He gave Edward a cautious hug and told him how proud he was and then kissed me and welcomed me into the family. We both congratulated him on the birth of Lawrence and hugged Rosalie goodbye.

"I added a little surprise to your rings. I hope you don't mind," Emmett said before walking out the door.

Edward and I both looked down at our hands in confusion until Alice came over and said, "There is an inscription in both rings."

We took them off and held them up to the light, to see the words, "Ride of my life."

27

I thought having both me and Edward semi retired we would be able to spend a lot of time together. It wasn't the case. As soon as we got home the phone calls started. Everyone wanted him to come tell his story. All the major networks did satellite broadcasts from the ranch asking the same questions each time.

We were finally approached by a production company wanting to turn the story into a movie. Edward insisted on only two things, final approval of the script and only my songs could be used. Every spare moment we had was spent on construction of our house and movie details.

Edward wanted to be there the day the sensitive subject of Man-o-war was filmed. He had taken me to his grave many times, each one filled with tears. We ordered a sculpture of his image made of stone, to serve as his marker. I never brought up the issue of getting another horse. I knew he would be ready someday.

We arrived on the set apprehensive and the actor playing Edward pulled me aside to ask some questions.

"That night was your husband like, out of his mind angry, or shocked, or what?" he asked me.

It hurt my heart to even think about it, but I knew this part had to be just right. "Imagine having the one thing that loves you unconditionally and it is your job to care for, being killed just because you may, or may not, do your job."

He thought for a moment and I added, "His heart was ripped apart, that night."

"I want to get the riding down perfectly," he said. "What did his face look like when he rode his horse?"

"Totally content, not a care in the world, and proud of every single thing Man-o-war did."

The man looked into my eyes and said, "This is going to be tough."

"He really needs you to get it right," I said adding pressure I'm sure.

I found Edward over with the horse, which looked so much like Manny. His eyes were sad and when he reached out and touched the horses head, his eyes closed in pain.

We watched as they filmed the scene in the stable where Edward groomed his horse for the last time. When the actor held out the sugar cube I noticed Edward smiled. They took several takes and we finally all moved into a sound stage for the night scene.

The deck of the house looked so authentic and when I heard Edward gasp I looked down to see a fake horse lying on the ground in a pool of blood. Edward turned away and walked off several yards before leaning his head against the wall and punching the hard blocks.

The room was silent as everyone gave him a moment to work through his grief. I walked over and hugged him tightly before leading him back behind the cameras.

He stood with his jaw tight and his arms crossed as they filmed the scene over and over again from every angle. The actor captured Edward's emotion perfectly and I was totally drained when we finally left.

We both spent weeks in the studio. I recorded songs for the movie and Edward's voice was used as the narrator in various parts. Actual footage from finals as he rode Diablo was used. I stared at the film moving in slow motions and couldn't believe Edward lived through the whole ordeal relatively unscathed.

The night of the premier we walked the red carpet together. I still cringed at a few of the remarks Edward made, like, "Bella had a hard time getting me to accept the queers, but when I saw how much her friends loved her, I couldn't help but like them, too."

"Oh, God," I said to myself and quickly moved down the line.

A reporter I recognized asked me about the video Tanya had released I laughed and looked at her hand for a wedding ring. "Do you worry about who your husband fucked before you met him?"

Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. "Then don't asked me about mine," I said and walked off with a big smile on my face.

We sat together as a family and the tension rose as the lights dimmed and the music began. I was stunned at how close the script was to what actually happened. I refused to look at my father when the actors ended up in bed first thing.

Edward chuckled, "I knew I had you eating from my hands."

"Yeah, 'just take a walk,' my ass," I said shaking my head and he laughed loudly.

My parents, Mike, and my friends, all turned to stare at me when they saw how I really got my black eye and swollen nose, I only shrugged at them. Watching Edward and I bounce back and forth in our relationship seemed a bit ridiculous when it happened in the space of two hours and twenty minutes.

But the parts with Manny were the most painful. We could hear sniffling throughout the theater and Edward kept his eyes down the entire time. I knew he would watch it alone later, but he was still my tough cowboy and wouldn't cry in front of all these strangers.

I was shocked to see exactly what happened when Edward and Emmett took off that night. I didn't realize how closely Edward came to murdering someone. It took Emmett and three other ranch hands to pull Edward off the newly hired man.

I was so relieved when I watched the scene with me and Jacob in his trailer, and it had him sleeping on the couch. I would let that bit of information remain between me and Jacob forever.

I thought I was prepared to watch Edward ride, but hearing the sound of his voice over the action on the screen pushed me over the edge.

_I pointed at my girl, the only thing I had to live for, and watched her point back at me. She knew I could do this and I felt selfish for wanting to do it so badly. I didn't look into the arena; I knew Emmett wasn't there because everything felt different when he was. I never rode alone when Emmet was standing in the dirt. But this was my fight, not his, so I had to ride alone for it to mean anything. My father handed the men my rope and I looked down at the bull that had caused so much pain in my heart. I looked into my father's eyes and he told me a real man doesn't worry about the possibility of failure, he only worries about never trying. It was the trying that made him proud of me. He kissed my head, a tradition between Cullen men, and I felt his spirit pass me strength. I heard my sister call out to me, she used the name Eddie, knowing how angry it would make me. Her fiancé was working the flank strap, and he told me to make it though the ride, and kick her ass._

The theater broke into laughter and Alice smacked Jaspers shoulder.

_I put my gloved, stitched up hand into the strap and felt the rope tighten around my grip. My father took the ropes tail from the cowboy's hand and told me very softly to look at him. I stared into my father's eyes as he wrapped the rope. I didn't need to see it; I wasn't planning on bailing out. I told him I would be bearing down and for him to make it good. I trusted him. I felt the rope in my hand and my father nodded so I sat my full weight on the bull. He instantly snorted and tried to rattle me. I pulled the image of Man-O-war into my mind and focused only on him, as I held my hand into the air and nodded._

_It felt good for the first few seconds. He tried to dump me, feeling my strength on both sides. The bull bucked, but I felt him hesitate before the spin, he wasn't sure which side was my weaker one. He tried the left side, but I remained evenly balanced, so he quickly turned to the right. I didn't adjust fast enough and it sent my free arm into me. I warned myself not to panic. I had to think through this ride and not rely on instinct. I was leaning into the spin and didn't want the bull to feel me trying to balance in the other direction, so I held my arm out to the side. It stopped my leaning, but it didn't sit me up straight. Diablo's own kick put me back into the right position. I could feel the confusion in the bull's muscles and he slung his head, trying to find me. The buzzer sounded, I won, I faced the fight head on and I told that two thousand pound mother fucker he was done._

The image on the screen froze showing Edward on Diablo with the clock reading 8.6 in the background, and Man-o-war on the jumbotron reared up in triumph.

The theater was silent and I looked at Edward in concern, when suddenly everyone stood and cheered loudly. He didn't stand, but pulled me into his arms and we had our own private celebration.

I was glad they didn't add anything further to the movie. The story really ended when the horn sounded. A totally different story began after that point. And it belongs only to me and Edward. We were no longer the cowboy and the pop star; life treated us no differently than anyone else. We had our ups and downs, days where we wanted to strangle each other, and moments we would never forget.

Rosalie was pregnant with her third baby, finally a girl. Her boys were perfect little cowboys. They were polite to their elders and tipped their hats to women.

Edward and I had a son who was hell on wheels. We named him after Edward's father, but called him Lisle. Everyone assured me the land would tame him in time. My parents enjoyed telling me how much he was just like me. I think Diablo is having the last laugh.

Emmett was now a judge for some of the largest events. Alice and Jasper finally married and we were all awaiting baby news. She kept her title for five years before taking a year off to plan her wedding. Eric was a constant fixture on the Ranch. Alice and Rose loved him, but Emmett and Edward still acted like it was something they could catch. Jasper and Carlisle were indifferent.

One particular tragedy changed Edward the most. Jacob died when his truck was hit by a drunk driver on the way to an event. Edward spoke at his funeral and on our way home he told me it was time to get a horse.

Pepper had been put down years ago; her tired, worn-out body just couldn't walk any further. I was still much more comfortable on the quads.

I walked out to the arena to find Edward working with his horse, Lightening. The young colt was black like Man-o-war, but would end up being as large as Colossus, with a white bolt down his forehead. I wanted Edward to name him Harry Potter, so I called him Harry to myself.

I loved being able to see the bond form from the very beginning this time. I lay my chin on my crossed forearms and watched Edward standing in the area with a rope tied to Harry. He would make different noises and whistles and Harry would respond. Edward would give him a sugar cube for each correct action.

"Watch this," Edward said when he saw me standing there.

He clicked his tongue and the colt stood still for a moment and then took a tentative step to the side. I cheered appropriately and Edward came over to me.

"Where's Lisle?"

"Doing cannonballs in the hot spring, probably," I groaned.

"He can't swim yet," Edward laughed.

"Well, don't tell him that, he'll just do it to prove you wrong. He's with Esme baking cookies."

I ran my hand down the face of the anxious horse wanting attention. "I don't know, Edward, I think he's too pretty to be straight."

"Bella, don't make me divorce you," Edward said with frustration.

"I'm just saying, you might get more than you bargain for riding this guy."

"I guess I'll just stick to riding you," Edward said, and leaned in to kiss me with his slow, deep way that took my breath away. I put my arms around his neck and pulled him to me, cursing the railing between us.

Harry thought he would take advantage of Edward's distraction and tried to find the sugar cubes from his pocket. Edward jumped, like it was Eric nibbling on his jeans, and I Iaughed loudly.

He gave me a disapproving look and led the horse back to the middle to continue the training. "I told you, Edward, you better work on being open minded, right now," I yelled to him.

I stayed to watch a bit longer with a smile unconsciously on my face. Lisle came running up, holding a bag of cookies out for me.

"Thank you, are these for me?" I said to his cookie covered face.

"Yeah, can I ride him yet?" he asked looking at Harry.

"Not yet, jump on my back and I'll play horsy with you," I offered, and he quickly climbed onto the railing and jumped without any fear onto my back.

He grabbed my shirt with one hand and raised his other hand high in the air. "Come on Mommy, be a wild bull," he begged.

"He's a natural," Edward yelled.

"Be quiet and keep working with your gay horse," I yelled back as I galloped off, trying to convince Lisle I was trying to throw him.

"You're not going to ride bulls and scare mommy, are you?" I asked my son as he laughed on my back.

"I'm going to ride big, mean bulls, like daddy," he announced.

"Mommy will cry," I told him honestly.

"You can be the Rodeo queen," he told me, and I laughed loudly.

Deep down I was still the girl whose big mouth got her sent to Canada to sing, the outsider, ignorant of cowboy ways. But Emmett was right; life with Edward was the 'ride of my life.'

**THE END**


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